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Announcer: THE "SATURDAY
NIGHT" SHOW WHICH YOU ARE ABOUT
TO SEE WILL GO ON AS SCHEDULED

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NIGHT" SHOW WHICH YOU ARE ABOUT
TO SEE WILL GO ON AS SCHEDULED
DESPITE CERTAIN TECHNICAL

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TO SEE WILL GO ON AS SCHEDULED
DESPITE CERTAIN TECHNICAL
DIFFICULTIES.

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DESPITE CERTAIN TECHNICAL
DIFFICULTIES.
UNFORTUNATELY, A FEW MINUTES

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DIFFICULTIES.
UNFORTUNATELY, A FEW MINUTES
AGO, JUST AFTER DRESS REHEARSAL,

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UNFORTUNATELY, A FEW MINUTES
AGO, JUST AFTER DRESS REHEARSAL,
THE DIRECTOR OF THE SHOW, UH,

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AGO, JUST AFTER DRESS REHEARSAL,
THE DIRECTOR OF THE SHOW, UH,
DIED.

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THE DIRECTOR OF THE SHOW, UH,
DIED.
YEAH.

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DIED.
YEAH.
YEAH? OKAY.

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YEAH.
YEAH? OKAY.
UH, HI, I'M CAPTAIN RIP RIDER.

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YEAH? OKAY.
UH, HI, I'M CAPTAIN RIP RIDER.
UH, NO, I'M DAN AYKROYD.

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UH, HI, I'M CAPTAIN RIP RIDER.
UH, NO, I'M DAN AYKROYD.
WELL, I'M... I'M KIND OF S...

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UH, NO, I'M DAN AYKROYD.
WELL, I'M... I'M KIND OF S...
I'M KIND OF AFRAID BECAUSE, UH,

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WELL, I'M... I'M KIND OF S...
I'M KIND OF AFRAID BECAUSE, UH,
WELL, THIS IS LIVE TELEVISION,

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I'M KIND OF AFRAID BECAUSE, UH,
WELL, THIS IS LIVE TELEVISION,
WHERE THE UNEXPECTED CAN HAPPEN,

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WELL, THIS IS LIVE TELEVISION,
WHERE THE UNEXPECTED CAN HAPPEN,
AND, WELL, THE UNEXPECTED HAS

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WHERE THE UNEXPECTED CAN HAPPEN,
AND, WELL, THE UNEXPECTED HAS
HAPPENED.

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AND, WELL, THE UNEXPECTED HAS
HAPPENED.
WE'RE ALL QUITE SADDENED AND

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HAPPENED.
WE'RE ALL QUITE SADDENED AND
DISAPPOINTED, BUT, UH, IN SHOW

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WE'RE ALL QUITE SADDENED AND
DISAPPOINTED, BUT, UH, IN SHOW
BUSINESS, WE HAVE AN OLD

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DISAPPOINTED, BUT, UH, IN SHOW
BUSINESS, WE HAVE AN OLD
SAYING... "THE SHOW MUST GO ON."

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BUSINESS, WE HAVE AN OLD
SAYING... "THE SHOW MUST GO ON."
AND ALTHOUGH WE HAVE THIS OLD

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SAYING... "THE SHOW MUST GO ON."
AND ALTHOUGH WE HAVE THIS OLD
SAYING, WELL, THE SHOW CAN'T

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AND ALTHOUGH WE HAVE THIS OLD
SAYING, WELL, THE SHOW CAN'T
POSSIBLY GO ON WITHOUT

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SAYING, WELL, THE SHOW CAN'T
POSSIBLY GO ON WITHOUT
DAVEY WILSON, OUR DIRECTOR,

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POSSIBLY GO ON WITHOUT
DAVEY WILSON, OUR DIRECTOR,
WHO'S APPARENTLY DIED.

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DAVEY WILSON, OUR DIRECTOR,
WHO'S APPARENTLY DIED.
DAVEY IS... IS, UH, WAS ONE OF

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WHO'S APPARENTLY DIED.
DAVEY IS... IS, UH, WAS ONE OF
THE LAST OF A DYING BREED OF

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DAVEY IS... IS, UH, WAS ONE OF
THE LAST OF A DYING BREED OF
PEOPLE WHO KNEW, WHO KNOW HOW,

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THE LAST OF A DYING BREED OF
PEOPLE WHO KNEW, WHO KNOW HOW,
WHO KNEW HOW LIVE TELEVISION

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PEOPLE WHO KNEW, WHO KNOW HOW,
WHO KNEW HOW LIVE TELEVISION
WORKS.

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WHO KNEW HOW LIVE TELEVISION
WORKS.
AND, OF COURSE, THE TRUE

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WORKS.
AND, OF COURSE, THE TRUE
TESTAMENT OF A MAN IS THE WORDS

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AND, OF COURSE, THE TRUE
TESTAMENT OF A MAN IS THE WORDS
AND THOUGHTS ABOUT HIM SPOKEN BY

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TESTAMENT OF A MAN IS THE WORDS
AND THOUGHTS ABOUT HIM SPOKEN BY
THOSE WHO WORKED CLOSEST WITH

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AND THOUGHTS ABOUT HIM SPOKEN BY
THOSE WHO WORKED CLOSEST WITH
HIM.

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THOSE WHO WORKED CLOSEST WITH
HIM.
SIR, YOU KNEW DAVEY WILSON.

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SIR, YOU KNEW DAVEY WILSON.
UH, YES, I DID.

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UH, YES, I DID.
WHAT SORT OF MAN WAS HE?

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WHAT SORT OF MAN WAS HE?
SEEMED LIKE A NICE GUY, BUT

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SEEMED LIKE A NICE GUY, BUT
HE WAS HARD TO GET TO KNOW, YOU

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HE WAS HARD TO GET TO KNOW, YOU
KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

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KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
YEAH.
UH, DAVEY WILSON, A MARVELOUS

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YEAH.
UH, DAVEY WILSON, A MARVELOUS
MAN AND A GUY WHO KNEW WHAT LIVE

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UH, DAVEY WILSON, A MARVELOUS
MAN AND A GUY WHO KNEW WHAT LIVE
TELEVISION WAS ALL A...

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MAN AND A GUY WHO KNEW WHAT LIVE
TELEVISION WAS ALL A...
JOHN! HOW ARE YA?

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TELEVISION WAS ALL A...
JOHN! HOW ARE YA?
WHAT'S HAPPENING OUT THERE?

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JOHN! HOW ARE YA?
WHAT'S HAPPENING OUT THERE?
WHAT'S HAPPENING?

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WHAT'S HAPPENING OUT THERE?
WHAT'S HAPPENING?
I'M SITTING IN FRONT OF 350

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WHAT'S HAPPENING?
I'M SITTING IN FRONT OF 350
PEOPLE, READY TO PULL DOWN THE

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I'M SITTING IN FRONT OF 350
PEOPLE, READY TO PULL DOWN THE
TEMPLES OF ISRAEL AND SAY,

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PEOPLE, READY TO PULL DOWN THE
TEMPLES OF ISRAEL AND SAY,
"LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S

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TEMPLES OF ISRAEL AND SAY,
"LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S
'SATURDAY NIGHT, '" AND NOBODY

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"LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S
'SATURDAY NIGHT, '" AND NOBODY
KNOWS WHAT'S GOING ON.

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'SATURDAY NIGHT, '" AND NOBODY
KNOWS WHAT'S GOING ON.
DAVEY IS DEAD.

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KNOWS WHAT'S GOING ON.
DAVEY IS DEAD.
WHO?

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DAVEY IS DEAD.
WHO?
DAVEY WILSON, OUR DIRECTOR...

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WHO?
DAVEY WILSON, OUR DIRECTOR...
HE JUST DIED BEFORE WE WENT ON

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DAVEY WILSON, OUR DIRECTOR...
HE JUST DIED BEFORE WE WENT ON
THE AIR.

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HE JUST DIED BEFORE WE WENT ON
THE AIR.
DANNY, WHAT'S GOING ON?

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THE AIR.
DANNY, WHAT'S GOING ON?
THE LIGHTS WENT OUT!

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DANNY, WHAT'S GOING ON?
THE LIGHTS WENT OUT!
UH, YEAH, WELL, DAVEY'S DEAD.

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THE LIGHTS WENT OUT!
UH, YEAH, WELL, DAVEY'S DEAD.
YOU SEE, HE DIED BEFORE WE WENT

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UH, YEAH, WELL, DAVEY'S DEAD.
YOU SEE, HE DIED BEFORE WE WENT
ON THE AIR.

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YOU SEE, HE DIED BEFORE WE WENT
ON THE AIR.
OH, NO, THAT MEANS WE CAN'T

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ON THE AIR.
OH, NO, THAT MEANS WE CAN'T
DO THE "DELILAH" SCENE.

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OH, NO, THAT MEANS WE CAN'T
DO THE "DELILAH" SCENE.
WELL, AS IT STANDS NOW, WE

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DO THE "DELILAH" SCENE.
WELL, AS IT STANDS NOW, WE
CAN'T REALLY DO ANYTHING EXCEPT

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WELL, AS IT STANDS NOW, WE
CAN'T REALLY DO ANYTHING EXCEPT
JUST SORT OF STAND HERE AND TALK

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CAN'T REALLY DO ANYTHING EXCEPT
JUST SORT OF STAND HERE AND TALK
TO YOU AT HOME AND, UH, AND HOPE

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JUST SORT OF STAND HERE AND TALK
TO YOU AT HOME AND, UH, AND HOPE
THINGS WORK OUT.

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TO YOU AT HOME AND, UH, AND HOPE
THINGS WORK OUT.
THAT'S JUST GREAT, YOU KNOW?

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THINGS WORK OUT.
THAT'S JUST GREAT, YOU KNOW?
I MEAN, I RESEARCH A ROLE ALL

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THAT'S JUST GREAT, YOU KNOW?
I MEAN, I RESEARCH A ROLE ALL
WEEK, I READ BOOKS ON DELILAH, I

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I MEAN, I RESEARCH A ROLE ALL
WEEK, I READ BOOKS ON DELILAH, I
GET PICTURES OF DELILAH, I WAS

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WEEK, I READ BOOKS ON DELILAH, I
GET PICTURES OF DELILAH, I WAS
GREAT AS DELILAH!

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GET PICTURES OF DELILAH, I WAS
GREAT AS DELILAH!
I HAD THEM EATING OUT OF MY

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GREAT AS DELILAH!
I HAD THEM EATING OUT OF MY
HAND IN DRESS REHEARSAL!

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I HAD THEM EATING OUT OF MY
HAND IN DRESS REHEARSAL!
LARAINE, PLEASE.

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HAND IN DRESS REHEARSAL!
LARAINE, PLEASE.
DON'T WORRY.

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LARAINE, PLEASE.
DON'T WORRY.
I'LL BE ALL RIGHT.

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DON'T WORRY.
I'LL BE ALL RIGHT.
AS YOU CAN SEE, LADIES AND

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I'LL BE ALL RIGHT.
AS YOU CAN SEE, LADIES AND
GENTLEMEN, THIS IS A SHOCK TO

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AS YOU CAN SEE, LADIES AND
GENTLEMEN, THIS IS A SHOCK TO
EVERYONE.

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GENTLEMEN, THIS IS A SHOCK TO
EVERYONE.
THE FACT THAT WE'RE WITHOUT A

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EVERYONE.
THE FACT THAT WE'RE WITHOUT A
VERY...

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THE FACT THAT WE'RE WITHOUT A
VERY...
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE, MAN?

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VERY...
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE, MAN?
DAVEY WILSON DIED.

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WHAT'S GOING ON HERE, MAN?
DAVEY WILSON DIED.
THE DIRECTOR?

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DAVEY WILSON DIED.
THE DIRECTOR?
THAT'S RIGHT, GARRETT.

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THE DIRECTOR?
THAT'S RIGHT, GARRETT.
YOU WORKED WITH DAVEY WILSON FOR

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THAT'S RIGHT, GARRETT.
YOU WORKED WITH DAVEY WILSON FOR
ALMOST TWO YEARS.

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YOU WORKED WITH DAVEY WILSON FOR
ALMOST TWO YEARS.
IS THERE ANYTHING THAT STANDS

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ALMOST TWO YEARS.
IS THERE ANYTHING THAT STANDS
OUT IN YOUR MEMORY ABOUT HIM?

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IS THERE ANYTHING THAT STANDS
OUT IN YOUR MEMORY ABOUT HIM?
HE SEEMED LIKE A NICE GUY TO

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OUT IN YOUR MEMORY ABOUT HIM?
HE SEEMED LIKE A NICE GUY TO
ME, MAN.

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HE SEEMED LIKE A NICE GUY TO
ME, MAN.
HE NEVER HASSLED ME AT ALL.

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ME, MAN.
HE NEVER HASSLED ME AT ALL.
TWO YEARS, AND HE NEVER

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HE NEVER HASSLED ME AT ALL.
TWO YEARS, AND HE NEVER
HASSLED GARRETT... QUITE A

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TWO YEARS, AND HE NEVER
HASSLED GARRETT... QUITE A
TRIBUTE TO THE DEAD

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HASSLED GARRETT... QUITE A
TRIBUTE TO THE DEAD
DAVEY WILSON.

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TRIBUTE TO THE DEAD
DAVEY WILSON.
WHETHER YOU WERE BLACK OR WHITE

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DAVEY WILSON.
WHETHER YOU WERE BLACK OR WHITE
OR RED OR BLUE OR GREEN,

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WHETHER YOU WERE BLACK OR WHITE
OR RED OR BLUE OR GREEN,
DAVEY WILSON JUST SEEMED TO BE A

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OR RED OR BLUE OR GREEN,
DAVEY WILSON JUST SEEMED TO BE A
NICE KIND OF GUY.

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DAVEY WILSON JUST SEEMED TO BE A
NICE KIND OF GUY.
UH, HE WAS, UH, A NICE GUY.

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NICE KIND OF GUY.
UH, HE WAS, UH, A NICE GUY.
VERY NICE GUY.

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UH, HE WAS, UH, A NICE GUY.
VERY NICE GUY.
YEAH.

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VERY NICE GUY.
YEAH.
YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT, HE PRETTY

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YEAH.
YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT, HE PRETTY
MUCH KEPT TO HIMSELF.

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YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT, HE PRETTY
MUCH KEPT TO HIMSELF.
UH-HUH.

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MUCH KEPT TO HIMSELF.
UH-HUH.
HE WAS A NICE GUY... QUIET GUY,

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UH-HUH.
HE WAS A NICE GUY... QUIET GUY,
EVERYBODY SEEMS TO AGREE.

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HE WAS A NICE GUY... QUIET GUY,
EVERYBODY SEEMS TO AGREE.
YEAH.

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00:02:54,475 --> 00:02:55,852
EVERYBODY SEEMS TO AGREE.
YEAH.
I UNDERSTAND WE HAVE A

116
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YEAH.
I UNDERSTAND WE HAVE A
FILM... "HIGHLIGHTS OF THE

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I UNDERSTAND WE HAVE A
FILM... "HIGHLIGHTS OF THE
CAREER OF DAVEY WILSON," WHICH

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00:02:58,979 --> 00:03:00,123
FILM... "HIGHLIGHTS OF THE
CAREER OF DAVEY WILSON," WHICH
WE'RE ABOUT TO ROLL.

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00:03:00,147 --> 00:03:01,858
CAREER OF DAVEY WILSON," WHICH
WE'RE ABOUT TO ROLL.
CAN YOU ROLL THE FILM?

120
00:03:01,882 --> 00:03:05,395
WE'RE ABOUT TO ROLL.
CAN YOU ROLL THE FILM?
UH, NO, BECAUSE I RUN THESE.

121
00:03:05,419 --> 00:03:06,663
CAN YOU ROLL THE FILM?
UH, NO, BECAUSE I RUN THESE.
OKAY, WELL, WE'RE HAVING SOME

122
00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:07,930
UH, NO, BECAUSE I RUN THESE.
OKAY, WELL, WE'RE HAVING SOME
TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES WITH THAT

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OKAY, WELL, WE'RE HAVING SOME
TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES WITH THAT
FILM.

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00:03:08,289 --> 00:03:09,299
TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES WITH THAT
FILM.
THAT'S EASILY EXPLAINABLE.

125
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FILM.
THAT'S EASILY EXPLAINABLE.
THE FILM IS ABOUT THE DIRECTOR,

126
00:03:10,558 --> 00:03:11,801
THAT'S EASILY EXPLAINABLE.
THE FILM IS ABOUT THE DIRECTOR,
DAVEY WILSON, WHO JUST DIED, AND

127
00:03:11,825 --> 00:03:12,935
THE FILM IS ABOUT THE DIRECTOR,
DAVEY WILSON, WHO JUST DIED, AND
HE'S THE ONLY ONE WHO REALLY

128
00:03:12,959 --> 00:03:14,003
DAVEY WILSON, WHO JUST DIED, AND
HE'S THE ONLY ONE WHO REALLY
KNOWS HOW THE TECHNICAL END

129
00:03:14,027 --> 00:03:14,371
HE'S THE ONLY ONE WHO REALLY
KNOWS HOW THE TECHNICAL END
WORKS.

130
00:03:14,395 --> 00:03:15,572
KNOWS HOW THE TECHNICAL END
WORKS.
SAY GARRETT OR JOHN OR MYSELF

131
00:03:15,596 --> 00:03:16,806
WORKS.
SAY GARRETT OR JOHN OR MYSELF
HAD DIED AND WE WERE ROLLING A

132
00:03:16,830 --> 00:03:18,007
SAY GARRETT OR JOHN OR MYSELF
HAD DIED AND WE WERE ROLLING A
FILM ON US, WELL, WE'D HAVE NO

133
00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:19,108
HAD DIED AND WE WERE ROLLING A
FILM ON US, WELL, WE'D HAVE NO
PROBLEM BECAUSE WE'RE ON THE

134
00:03:19,132 --> 00:03:20,310
FILM ON US, WELL, WE'D HAVE NO
PROBLEM BECAUSE WE'RE ON THE
ACTING END, AS OPPOSED TO THE,

135
00:03:20,334 --> 00:03:21,244
PROBLEM BECAUSE WE'RE ON THE
ACTING END, AS OPPOSED TO THE,
UH, TECHNICAL END.

136
00:03:21,268 --> 00:03:22,646
ACTING END, AS OPPOSED TO THE,
UH, TECHNICAL END.
AND, WELL, FILM IS TECHNICAL,

137
00:03:22,670 --> 00:03:24,080
UH, TECHNICAL END.
AND, WELL, FILM IS TECHNICAL,
AND DAVEY KNEW THAT STUFF, AND

138
00:03:24,104 --> 00:03:24,847
AND, WELL, FILM IS TECHNICAL,
AND DAVEY KNEW THAT STUFF, AND
HE'S NOT HERE.

139
00:03:24,871 --> 00:03:25,815
AND DAVEY KNEW THAT STUFF, AND
HE'S NOT HERE.
HE'S KIND OF GONE.

140
00:03:25,839 --> 00:03:27,284
HE'S NOT HERE.
HE'S KIND OF GONE.
AND THAT'S THE IRONY HERE, I

141
00:03:27,308 --> 00:03:27,717
HE'S KIND OF GONE.
AND THAT'S THE IRONY HERE, I
THINK.

142
00:03:27,741 --> 00:03:29,118
AND THAT'S THE IRONY HERE, I
THINK.
IT'S A REAL IRONIC SITUATION.

143
00:03:29,142 --> 00:03:30,787
THINK.
IT'S A REAL IRONIC SITUATION.
JANE! JANE CURTIN IS HERE.

144
00:03:30,811 --> 00:03:32,322
IT'S A REAL IRONIC SITUATION.
JANE! JANE CURTIN IS HERE.
AND, JANE, YOU KNEW DAVEY.

145
00:03:32,346 --> 00:03:34,123
JANE! JANE CURTIN IS HERE.
AND, JANE, YOU KNEW DAVEY.
YOU MUST HAVE SOMETHING THAT YOU

146
00:03:34,147 --> 00:03:35,858
AND, JANE, YOU KNEW DAVEY.
YOU MUST HAVE SOMETHING THAT YOU
COULD SHARE ABOUT HIM WITH US.

147
00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:37,894
YOU MUST HAVE SOMETHING THAT YOU
COULD SHARE ABOUT HIM WITH US.
UH...

148
00:03:37,918 --> 00:03:39,362
COULD SHARE ABOUT HIM WITH US.
UH...
I ONCE HEARD DAVEY SAY HE REALLY

149
00:03:39,386 --> 00:03:40,697
UH...
I ONCE HEARD DAVEY SAY HE REALLY
LIKED THE BEATLES.

150
00:03:40,721 --> 00:03:42,265
I ONCE HEARD DAVEY SAY HE REALLY
LIKED THE BEATLES.
WELL, HERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT

151
00:03:42,289 --> 00:03:43,733
LIKED THE BEATLES.
WELL, HERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT
HIM... HE LIKED THE BEATLES.

152
00:03:43,757 --> 00:03:45,268
WELL, HERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT
HIM... HE LIKED THE BEATLES.
YEAH, A WHITE MAN WHO LIKED

153
00:03:45,292 --> 00:03:46,603
HIM... HE LIKED THE BEATLES.
YEAH, A WHITE MAN WHO LIKED
THE BEATLES... NOW, THAT'S

154
00:03:46,627 --> 00:03:47,571
YEAH, A WHITE MAN WHO LIKED
THE BEATLES... NOW, THAT'S
INTERESTING, MAN.

155
00:03:47,595 --> 00:03:48,938
THE BEATLES... NOW, THAT'S
INTERESTING, MAN.
AND I THINK THE BEATLES

156
00:03:48,962 --> 00:03:50,340
INTERESTING, MAN.
AND I THINK THE BEATLES
SUMMED IT UP BEST WHEN THEY

157
00:03:50,364 --> 00:03:52,709
AND I THINK THE BEATLES
SUMMED IT UP BEST WHEN THEY
SAID, "OB-LA-DI, OB-LA-DA, LIFE

158
00:03:52,733 --> 00:03:53,677
SUMMED IT UP BEST WHEN THEY
SAID, "OB-LA-DI, OB-LA-DA, LIFE
GOES ON, BRA."

159
00:03:53,701 --> 00:03:55,378
SAID, "OB-LA-DI, OB-LA-DA, LIFE
GOES ON, BRA."
AH, THANK YOU, THANK YOU,

160
00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:55,912
GOES ON, BRA."
AH, THANK YOU, THANK YOU,
JANE.

161
00:03:55,936 --> 00:03:57,581
AH, THANK YOU, THANK YOU,
JANE.
THANK YOU, DAN, AND THANK

162
00:03:57,605 --> 00:03:58,381
JANE.
THANK YOU, DAN, AND THANK
YOU, DAVE.

163
00:03:58,405 --> 00:03:59,282
THANK YOU, DAN, AND THANK
YOU, DAVE.
ALL RIGHT.

164
00:03:59,306 --> 00:04:00,483
YOU, DAVE.
ALL RIGHT.
BILL! BILL MURRAY.

165
00:04:00,507 --> 00:04:02,219
ALL RIGHT.
BILL! BILL MURRAY.
BILL MURRAY... THE NEWEST OF

166
00:04:02,243 --> 00:04:03,920
BILL! BILL MURRAY.
BILL MURRAY... THE NEWEST OF
THE NOT-READY-FOR-PRIME-TIME

167
00:04:03,944 --> 00:04:04,487
BILL MURRAY... THE NEWEST OF
THE NOT-READY-FOR-PRIME-TIME
PLAYERS.

168
00:04:04,511 --> 00:04:05,288
THE NOT-READY-FOR-PRIME-TIME
PLAYERS.
YES, I AM.

169
00:04:05,312 --> 00:04:06,656
PLAYERS.
YES, I AM.
PERHAPS YOU HAVE A STORY

170
00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:08,258
YES, I AM.
PERHAPS YOU HAVE A STORY
ABOUT DAVE WILSON, OUR DECEASED

171
00:04:08,282 --> 00:04:09,726
PERHAPS YOU HAVE A STORY
ABOUT DAVE WILSON, OUR DECEASED
DIRECTOR, THAT YOU COULD TELL

172
00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:10,694
ABOUT DAVE WILSON, OUR DECEASED
DIRECTOR, THAT YOU COULD TELL
THE FOLKS.

173
00:04:10,718 --> 00:04:14,564
DIRECTOR, THAT YOU COULD TELL
THE FOLKS.
SURE, UH, UH, DAVEY AND I

174
00:04:14,588 --> 00:04:16,065
THE FOLKS.
SURE, UH, UH, DAVEY AND I
USED TO DRINK A LOT OF COFFEE

175
00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:16,700
SURE, UH, UH, DAVEY AND I
USED TO DRINK A LOT OF COFFEE
TOGETHER.

176
00:04:16,724 --> 00:04:18,301
USED TO DRINK A LOT OF COFFEE
TOGETHER.
AND, UH, ONE TIME, I WAS AT THE

177
00:04:18,325 --> 00:04:19,736
TOGETHER.
AND, UH, ONE TIME, I WAS AT THE
MACHINE, AND HE SAID, "DON'T

178
00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:20,637
AND, UH, ONE TIME, I WAS AT THE
MACHINE, AND HE SAID, "DON'T
DRINK THE MILK.

179
00:04:20,661 --> 00:04:21,871
MACHINE, AND HE SAID, "DON'T
DRINK THE MILK.
IT'S SOUR."

180
00:04:21,895 --> 00:04:24,541
DRINK THE MILK.
IT'S SOUR."
AND I DRANK IT ANYWAY, AND IT

181
00:04:24,565 --> 00:04:25,642
IT'S SOUR."
AND I DRANK IT ANYWAY, AND IT
WAS SOUR.

182
00:04:25,666 --> 00:04:28,378
AND I DRANK IT ANYWAY, AND IT
WAS SOUR.
BUT, UH, YOU KNOW, IT WAS NICE

183
00:04:28,402 --> 00:04:29,379
WAS SOUR.
BUT, UH, YOU KNOW, IT WAS NICE
OF HIM TO TELL ME THAT.

184
00:04:29,403 --> 00:04:30,547
BUT, UH, YOU KNOW, IT WAS NICE
OF HIM TO TELL ME THAT.
THANK YOU, BILL, FOR THAT

185
00:04:30,571 --> 00:04:31,581
OF HIM TO TELL ME THAT.
THANK YOU, BILL, FOR THAT
STORY ABOUT DAVEY WILSON.

186
00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:32,815
THANK YOU, BILL, FOR THAT
STORY ABOUT DAVEY WILSON.
IF THERE'S ANY ONE PERSON WHO

187
00:04:32,839 --> 00:04:34,117
STORY ABOUT DAVEY WILSON.
IF THERE'S ANY ONE PERSON WHO
RELIED ON DAVEY WILSON MORE THAN

188
00:04:34,141 --> 00:04:35,352
IF THERE'S ANY ONE PERSON WHO
RELIED ON DAVEY WILSON MORE THAN
ANYBODY ELSE, IT WOULD HAVE TO

189
00:04:35,376 --> 00:04:35,952
RELIED ON DAVEY WILSON MORE THAN
ANYBODY ELSE, IT WOULD HAVE TO
BE THE HOST.

190
00:04:35,976 --> 00:04:37,186
ANYBODY ELSE, IT WOULD HAVE TO
BE THE HOST.
THIS IS SISSY SPACEK, THE HOST

191
00:04:37,210 --> 00:04:39,656
BE THE HOST.
THIS IS SISSY SPACEK, THE HOST
OF THIS WEEK'S SHOW, WHICH ISN'T

192
00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:41,324
THIS IS SISSY SPACEK, THE HOST
OF THIS WEEK'S SHOW, WHICH ISN'T
QUITE THE SHOW WE OR SHE THOUGHT

193
00:04:41,348 --> 00:04:42,058
OF THIS WEEK'S SHOW, WHICH ISN'T
QUITE THE SHOW WE OR SHE THOUGHT
IT WOULD BE.

194
00:04:42,082 --> 00:04:43,526
QUITE THE SHOW WE OR SHE THOUGHT
IT WOULD BE.
SISSY, THIS IS YOUR FIRST TV

195
00:04:43,550 --> 00:04:43,993
IT WOULD BE.
SISSY, THIS IS YOUR FIRST TV
SHOW.

196
00:04:44,017 --> 00:04:45,161
SISSY, THIS IS YOUR FIRST TV
SHOW.
YES, IT IS, DANNY.

197
00:04:45,185 --> 00:04:46,796
SHOW.
YES, IT IS, DANNY.
I USUALLY WORK IN MOVIES, AND IF

198
00:04:46,820 --> 00:04:48,365
YES, IT IS, DANNY.
I USUALLY WORK IN MOVIES, AND IF
SOMEONE DIES IN THE MOVIES, WE

199
00:04:48,389 --> 00:04:51,067
I USUALLY WORK IN MOVIES, AND IF
SOMEONE DIES IN THE MOVIES, WE
JUST STOP FILMING.

200
00:04:51,091 --> 00:04:52,902
SOMEONE DIES IN THE MOVIES, WE
JUST STOP FILMING.
BUT HERE, EVERYTHING JUST FALLS

201
00:04:52,926 --> 00:04:53,436
JUST STOP FILMING.
BUT HERE, EVERYTHING JUST FALLS
APART.

202
00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:55,104
BUT HERE, EVERYTHING JUST FALLS
APART.
I... I GUESS THAT'S WHAT MAKES

203
00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:56,339
APART.
I... I GUESS THAT'S WHAT MAKES
LIVE TV SO EXCITING.

204
00:04:56,363 --> 00:04:56,839
I... I GUESS THAT'S WHAT MAKES
LIVE TV SO EXCITING.
YES!

205
00:04:56,863 --> 00:04:58,007
LIVE TV SO EXCITING.
YES!
THE EXCITEMENT OF LIVE

206
00:04:58,031 --> 00:04:58,675
YES!
THE EXCITEMENT OF LIVE
TELEVISION.

207
00:04:58,699 --> 00:04:59,208
THE EXCITEMENT OF LIVE
TELEVISION.
YES!

208
00:04:59,232 --> 00:04:59,743
TELEVISION.
YES!
YEAH!

209
00:04:59,767 --> 00:05:01,110
YES!
YEAH!
I JUST HOPE WE GET TO DO

210
00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:02,512
YEAH!
I JUST HOPE WE GET TO DO
SOMETHING THAT WE REHEARSED.

211
00:05:02,536 --> 00:05:04,113
I JUST HOPE WE GET TO DO
SOMETHING THAT WE REHEARSED.
WELL, SISSY, WE'RE SORRY THAT

212
00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:05,248
SOMETHING THAT WE REHEARSED.
WELL, SISSY, WE'RE SORRY THAT
IT HAPPENED THIS WEEK.

213
00:05:05,272 --> 00:05:06,716
WELL, SISSY, WE'RE SORRY THAT
IT HAPPENED THIS WEEK.
AND, YOU KNOW, I KNOW THAT IF

214
00:05:06,740 --> 00:05:07,250
IT HAPPENED THIS WEEK.
AND, YOU KNOW, I KNOW THAT IF
DAVEY...

215
00:05:07,274 --> 00:05:08,818
AND, YOU KNOW, I KNOW THAT IF
DAVEY...
DANNY, THEY'RE GETTING READY

216
00:05:08,842 --> 00:05:09,686
DAVEY...
DANNY, THEY'RE GETTING READY
TO RUN THE FILM.

217
00:05:09,710 --> 00:05:11,187
DANNY, THEY'RE GETTING READY
TO RUN THE FILM.
OKAY, I THINK THEY'RE READY

218
00:05:11,211 --> 00:05:12,722
TO RUN THE FILM.
OKAY, I THINK THEY'RE READY
TO ROLL THAT OBITUARY FILM, THE

219
00:05:12,746 --> 00:05:13,923
OKAY, I THINK THEY'RE READY
TO ROLL THAT OBITUARY FILM, THE
STANDARD OBITUARY FILM.

220
00:05:13,947 --> 00:05:15,292
TO ROLL THAT OBITUARY FILM, THE
STANDARD OBITUARY FILM.
READY TO ROLL THE FILM NOW?

221
00:05:15,316 --> 00:05:15,759
STANDARD OBITUARY FILM.
READY TO ROLL THE FILM NOW?
NO.

222
00:05:15,783 --> 00:05:16,893
READY TO ROLL THE FILM NOW?
NO.
OKAY, FINE.

223
00:05:16,917 --> 00:05:19,028
NO.
OKAY, FINE.
GILDA RADNER, YOU KNEW DAVEY AS

224
00:05:19,052 --> 00:05:20,630
OKAY, FINE.
GILDA RADNER, YOU KNEW DAVEY AS
WELL AS ANY ONE OF THE

225
00:05:20,654 --> 00:05:22,365
GILDA RADNER, YOU KNEW DAVEY AS
WELL AS ANY ONE OF THE
NOT-READY-FOR-PRIME-TIME

226
00:05:22,389 --> 00:05:22,932
WELL AS ANY ONE OF THE
NOT-READY-FOR-PRIME-TIME
PLAYERS.

227
00:05:22,956 --> 00:05:23,900
NOT-READY-FOR-PRIME-TIME
PLAYERS.
UH, YES, I DID.

228
00:05:23,924 --> 00:05:24,967
PLAYERS.
UH, YES, I DID.
HE REMINDED ME OF MY

229
00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:25,702
UH, YES, I DID.
HE REMINDED ME OF MY
GRANDFATHER.

230
00:05:25,726 --> 00:05:26,436
HE REMINDED ME OF MY
GRANDFATHER.
OH, YEAH?

231
00:05:26,460 --> 00:05:27,937
GRANDFATHER.
OH, YEAH?
WHAT DOES YOUR GRANDFATHER DO?

232
00:05:27,961 --> 00:05:28,638
OH, YEAH?
WHAT DOES YOUR GRANDFATHER DO?
HE DIED.

233
00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:30,139
WHAT DOES YOUR GRANDFATHER DO?
HE DIED.
WHAT DID HE DO BEFORE THAT?

234
00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:31,207
HE DIED.
WHAT DID HE DO BEFORE THAT?
HE WAS REAL SICK.

235
00:05:31,231 --> 00:05:32,442
WHAT DID HE DO BEFORE THAT?
HE WAS REAL SICK.
AND, UH, BEFORE THAT?

236
00:05:32,466 --> 00:05:33,710
HE WAS REAL SICK.
AND, UH, BEFORE THAT?
WELL, HE HAD A LOT OF

237
00:05:33,734 --> 00:05:34,344
AND, UH, BEFORE THAT?
WELL, HE HAD A LOT OF
HEADACHES.

238
00:05:34,368 --> 00:05:35,645
WELL, HE HAD A LOT OF
HEADACHES.
HOW ABOUT BEFORE THAT?

239
00:05:35,669 --> 00:05:36,746
HEADACHES.
HOW ABOUT BEFORE THAT?
HE USED TO YELL AT MY

240
00:05:36,770 --> 00:05:37,580
HOW ABOUT BEFORE THAT?
HE USED TO YELL AT MY
GRANDMOTHER.

241
00:05:37,604 --> 00:05:39,382
HE USED TO YELL AT MY
GRANDMOTHER.
OKAY, THANK YOU, GILDA, THANK

242
00:05:39,406 --> 00:05:39,816
GRANDMOTHER.
OKAY, THANK YOU, GILDA, THANK
YOU.

243
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:41,551
OKAY, THANK YOU, GILDA, THANK
YOU.
YOU KNOW, THERE'S AN OLD SAYING

244
00:05:41,575 --> 00:05:43,320
YOU.
YOU KNOW, THERE'S AN OLD SAYING
THAT, WELL, "YOU CAN TELL A LOT

245
00:05:43,344 --> 00:05:45,755
YOU KNOW, THERE'S AN OLD SAYING
THAT, WELL, "YOU CAN TELL A LOT
ABOUT A MAN FROM THE... CONTENTS

246
00:05:45,779 --> 00:05:47,123
THAT, WELL, "YOU CAN TELL A LOT
ABOUT A MAN FROM THE... CONTENTS
OF HIS WALLET."

247
00:05:47,147 --> 00:05:51,227
ABOUT A MAN FROM THE... CONTENTS
OF HIS WALLET."
LET'S SEE, UH, DAVEY WAS, UH,

248
00:05:51,251 --> 00:05:52,261
OF HIS WALLET."
LET'S SEE, UH, DAVEY WAS, UH,
LET'S SEE.

249
00:05:52,285 --> 00:05:54,698
LET'S SEE, UH, DAVEY WAS, UH,
LET'S SEE.
OUR DIRECTOR, DAVEY WILSON, WAS

250
00:05:54,722 --> 00:05:56,999
LET'S SEE.
OUR DIRECTOR, DAVEY WILSON, WAS
A MEMBER OF THE DINER'S CLUB.

251
00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:57,734
OUR DIRECTOR, DAVEY WILSON, WAS
A MEMBER OF THE DINER'S CLUB.
AND...

252
00:05:57,758 --> 00:05:58,702
A MEMBER OF THE DINER'S CLUB.
AND...
THE FILM?

253
00:05:58,726 --> 00:05:59,836
AND...
THE FILM?
THE FILM IS UP!

254
00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:00,937
THE FILM?
THE FILM IS UP!
THE FILM IS ON.

255
00:06:00,961 --> 00:06:02,104
THE FILM IS UP!
THE FILM IS ON.
THE NBC OBITUARY...

256
00:06:02,128 --> 00:06:03,206
THE FILM IS ON.
THE NBC OBITUARY...
NO, IT STOPPED.

257
00:06:03,230 --> 00:06:05,074
THE NBC OBITUARY...
NO, IT STOPPED.
NO, THE FILM ON DAVEY WILSON,

258
00:06:05,098 --> 00:06:06,843
NO, IT STOPPED.
NO, THE FILM ON DAVEY WILSON,
OUR LATE DIRECTOR, OUR VERY

259
00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:08,578
NO, THE FILM ON DAVEY WILSON,
OUR LATE DIRECTOR, OUR VERY
RECENTLY DECEASED DIRECTOR,

260
00:06:08,602 --> 00:06:10,513
OUR LATE DIRECTOR, OUR VERY
RECENTLY DECEASED DIRECTOR,
DAVEY WILSON... THE STANDARD NBC

261
00:06:10,537 --> 00:06:14,183
RECENTLY DECEASED DIRECTOR,
DAVEY WILSON... THE STANDARD NBC
OBITUARY FILM.

262
00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:15,885
DAVEY WILSON... THE STANDARD NBC
OBITUARY FILM.
NOT ON. IT'S NOT ON.

263
00:06:15,909 --> 00:06:18,788
OBITUARY FILM.
NOT ON. IT'S NOT ON.
AH, THERE IT IS!

264
00:06:18,812 --> 00:06:20,457
NOT ON. IT'S NOT ON.
AH, THERE IT IS!
Announcer: DAVEY WILSON,

265
00:06:20,481 --> 00:06:22,024
AH, THERE IT IS!
Announcer: DAVEY WILSON,
WINNER OF A 1976 EMMY FOR

266
00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:23,860
Announcer: DAVEY WILSON,
WINNER OF A 1976 EMMY FOR
DIRECTING THE "SATURDAY NIGHT"

267
00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:24,361
WINNER OF A 1976 EMMY FOR
DIRECTING THE "SATURDAY NIGHT"
SHOW.

268
00:06:24,385 --> 00:06:26,062
DIRECTING THE "SATURDAY NIGHT"
SHOW.
HIS UNTIMELY DEATH BROUGHT TO

269
00:06:26,086 --> 00:06:27,731
SHOW.
HIS UNTIMELY DEATH BROUGHT TO
AN END A CAREER OF DIRECTING

270
00:06:27,755 --> 00:06:29,566
HIS UNTIMELY DEATH BROUGHT TO
AN END A CAREER OF DIRECTING
THAT STRETCHED OVER 20 YEARS AND

271
00:06:29,590 --> 00:06:31,868
AN END A CAREER OF DIRECTING
THAT STRETCHED OVER 20 YEARS AND
INCLUDED SUCH HITS AS

272
00:06:31,892 --> 00:06:33,770
THAT STRETCHED OVER 20 YEARS AND
INCLUDED SUCH HITS AS
"THE PAUL WEESNER STORY"...

273
00:06:33,794 --> 00:06:38,475
INCLUDED SUCH HITS AS
"THE PAUL WEESNER STORY"...
"MAMBO MACAMBO"...

274
00:06:38,499 --> 00:06:42,645
"THE PAUL WEESNER STORY"...
"MAMBO MACAMBO"...
"ANIMAL FUN"...

275
00:06:42,669 --> 00:06:47,049
"MAMBO MACAMBO"...
"ANIMAL FUN"...
"HATS OFF, ENSIGN O'ROURKE"...

276
00:06:47,073 --> 00:06:49,875
"ANIMAL FUN"...
"HATS OFF, ENSIGN O'ROURKE"...
AND "CINCINNATI MIDDAY."

277
00:06:56,048 --> 00:07:00,897
UM, DANNY, DANNY?
YEAH?
WE'RE ON. WE'RE ON.

278
00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:02,799
YEAH?
WE'RE ON. WE'RE ON.
OKAY. ALL RIGHT.

279
00:07:02,823 --> 00:07:05,101
WE'RE ON. WE'RE ON.
OKAY. ALL RIGHT.
NO, YOU CAN'T TAKE HIS MONEY.

280
00:07:05,125 --> 00:07:07,303
OKAY. ALL RIGHT.
NO, YOU CAN'T TAKE HIS MONEY.
WE FOUND A CARD HERE, A

281
00:07:07,327 --> 00:07:08,237
NO, YOU CAN'T TAKE HIS MONEY.
WE FOUND A CARD HERE, A
MEDIC ALERT CARD.

282
00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:09,572
WE FOUND A CARD HERE, A
MEDIC ALERT CARD.
A MEDIC ALERT CARD HAS BEEN

283
00:07:09,596 --> 00:07:10,039
MEDIC ALERT CARD.
A MEDIC ALERT CARD HAS BEEN
FOUND.

284
00:07:10,063 --> 00:07:10,973
A MEDIC ALERT CARD HAS BEEN
FOUND.
COULD SOMEBODY...

285
00:07:10,997 --> 00:07:12,341
FOUND.
COULD SOMEBODY...
A MEDIC ALERT CARD HAS BEEN

286
00:07:12,365 --> 00:07:12,809
COULD SOMEBODY...
A MEDIC ALERT CARD HAS BEEN
FOUND.

287
00:07:12,833 --> 00:07:14,277
A MEDIC ALERT CARD HAS BEEN
FOUND.
IT SAYS, "IN THE EVENT OF LOSS

288
00:07:14,301 --> 00:07:15,678
FOUND.
IT SAYS, "IN THE EVENT OF LOSS
OF CONSCIOUSNESS, SAY, "LIVE

289
00:07:15,702 --> 00:07:16,679
IT SAYS, "IN THE EVENT OF LOSS
OF CONSCIOUSNESS, SAY, "LIVE
FROM NEW YORK, IT'S

290
00:07:16,703 --> 00:07:18,180
OF CONSCIOUSNESS, SAY, "LIVE
FROM NEW YORK, IT'S
'SATURDAY NIGHT.'"

291
00:07:18,204 --> 00:07:20,617
FROM NEW YORK, IT'S
'SATURDAY NIGHT.'"
All: LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S

292
00:07:20,641 --> 00:07:22,051
'SATURDAY NIGHT.'"
All: LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S
"SATURDAY NIGHT"!

293
00:07:22,075 --> 00:07:22,819
All: LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S
"SATURDAY NIGHT"!
AAH!

294
00:07:22,843 --> 00:07:23,520
"SATURDAY NIGHT"!
AAH!
AH!

295
00:07:23,544 --> 00:07:25,622
AAH!
AH!
TAPE ROLL!

296
00:07:25,646 --> 00:07:27,345
AH!
TAPE ROLL!
[BAND PLAYS]

297
00:07:39,525 --> 00:07:47,525
Announcer: NBC's "SATURDAY
NIGHT."
STARRING...

298
00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:57,576
WITH HER SPECIAL GUEST...

299
00:08:09,088 --> 00:08:10,388
AND...

300
00:08:28,608 --> 00:08:32,611
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
SISSY SPACEK!

301
00:08:49,729 --> 00:08:53,710
THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
IT'S REALLY GREAT TO BE HERE
TONIGHT.

302
00:08:53,734 --> 00:08:55,712
IT'S REALLY GREAT TO BE HERE
TONIGHT.
GOD, I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT.

303
00:08:55,736 --> 00:08:57,714
TONIGHT.
GOD, I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT.
I COME FROM A REALLY SMALL TOWN

304
00:08:57,738 --> 00:08:59,315
GOD, I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT.
I COME FROM A REALLY SMALL TOWN
IN TEXAS CALLED QUITMAN.

305
00:08:59,339 --> 00:09:02,451
I COME FROM A REALLY SMALL TOWN
IN TEXAS CALLED QUITMAN.
POPULATION... 1,237.

306
00:09:02,475 --> 00:09:03,820
IN TEXAS CALLED QUITMAN.
POPULATION... 1,237.
OH, AND MY BACKGROUND DIDN'T

307
00:09:03,844 --> 00:09:05,121
POPULATION... 1,237.
OH, AND MY BACKGROUND DIDN'T
PREPARE ME FOR A NIGHT LIKE

308
00:09:05,145 --> 00:09:05,855
OH, AND MY BACKGROUND DIDN'T
PREPARE ME FOR A NIGHT LIKE
THIS.

309
00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:07,790
PREPARE ME FOR A NIGHT LIKE
THIS.
THESE PAST FEW MONTHS HAVE BEEN

310
00:09:07,814 --> 00:09:09,759
THIS.
THESE PAST FEW MONTHS HAVE BEEN
INCREDIBLE.

311
00:09:09,783 --> 00:09:12,495
THESE PAST FEW MONTHS HAVE BEEN
INCREDIBLE.
I'M DOING MY FIRST LIVE TV SHOW.

312
00:09:12,519 --> 00:09:14,898
INCREDIBLE.
I'M DOING MY FIRST LIVE TV SHOW.
I GOT TO BE ON THE COVER OF

313
00:09:14,922 --> 00:09:15,965
I'M DOING MY FIRST LIVE TV SHOW.
I GOT TO BE ON THE COVER OF
<i>NEWSWEEK</i> MAGAZINE.

314
00:09:15,989 --> 00:09:17,600
I GOT TO BE ON THE COVER OF
<i>NEWSWEEK</i> MAGAZINE.
AND I'VE BEEN NOMINATED FOR AN

315
00:09:17,624 --> 00:09:19,335
<i>NEWSWEEK</i> MAGAZINE.
AND I'VE BEEN NOMINATED FOR AN
ACADEMY AWARD FOR MY WORK IN THE

316
00:09:19,359 --> 00:09:20,970
AND I'VE BEEN NOMINATED FOR AN
ACADEMY AWARD FOR MY WORK IN THE
FILM "CARRIE."

317
00:09:20,994 --> 00:09:23,234
ACADEMY AWARD FOR MY WORK IN THE
FILM "CARRIE."
[APPLAUSE]

318
00:09:25,464 --> 00:09:31,714
THANK YOU.
WHEN I FOUND OUT ABOUT THE
NOMINATION, I CALLED THE ACADEMY

319
00:09:31,738 --> 00:09:33,516
WHEN I FOUND OUT ABOUT THE
NOMINATION, I CALLED THE ACADEMY
TO BE SURE THERE HADN'T BEEN A

320
00:09:33,540 --> 00:09:35,484
NOMINATION, I CALLED THE ACADEMY
TO BE SURE THERE HADN'T BEEN A
MISTAKE, AND THEY SAID, NO,

321
00:09:35,508 --> 00:09:37,554
TO BE SURE THERE HADN'T BEEN A
MISTAKE, AND THEY SAID, NO,
THERE HADN'T BEEN A MISTAKE.

322
00:09:37,578 --> 00:09:39,522
MISTAKE, AND THEY SAID, NO,
THERE HADN'T BEEN A MISTAKE.
AND THE OTHER NOMINEES WERE

323
00:09:39,546 --> 00:09:40,523
THERE HADN'T BEEN A MISTAKE.
AND THE OTHER NOMINEES WERE
LIV ULLMANN,

324
00:09:40,547 --> 00:09:42,625
AND THE OTHER NOMINEES WERE
LIV ULLMANN,
MARIE-CHRISTINE BARRAULT,

325
00:09:42,649 --> 00:09:45,227
LIV ULLMANN,
MARIE-CHRISTINE BARRAULT,
TALIA SHIRE, AND FAYE DUNAWAY.

326
00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:47,764
MARIE-CHRISTINE BARRAULT,
TALIA SHIRE, AND FAYE DUNAWAY.
AND I SAID, "IF I COME, CAN I

327
00:09:47,788 --> 00:09:49,766
TALIA SHIRE, AND FAYE DUNAWAY.
AND I SAID, "IF I COME, CAN I
KEEP THE PROGRAM?"

328
00:09:49,790 --> 00:09:52,835
AND I SAID, "IF I COME, CAN I
KEEP THE PROGRAM?"
BUT I DO HAVE A LITTLE SPEECH.

329
00:09:52,859 --> 00:09:54,737
KEEP THE PROGRAM?"
BUT I DO HAVE A LITTLE SPEECH.
AND WITH THINGS BEING THE WAY

330
00:09:54,761 --> 00:09:56,539
BUT I DO HAVE A LITTLE SPEECH.
AND WITH THINGS BEING THE WAY
THEY ARE, I MIGHT NOT GET A

331
00:09:56,563 --> 00:09:58,441
AND WITH THINGS BEING THE WAY
THEY ARE, I MIGHT NOT GET A
CHANCE TO DELIVER IT ON OSCAR

332
00:09:58,465 --> 00:10:01,243
THEY ARE, I MIGHT NOT GET A
CHANCE TO DELIVER IT ON OSCAR
NIGHT, SO... I WANT TO THANK MY

333
00:10:01,267 --> 00:10:04,346
CHANCE TO DELIVER IT ON OSCAR
NIGHT, SO... I WANT TO THANK MY
MOTHER, MY FATHER, MY BROTHER,

334
00:10:04,370 --> 00:10:06,583
NIGHT, SO... I WANT TO THANK MY
MOTHER, MY FATHER, MY BROTHER,
ED, MY HUSBAND, JACK, MY

335
00:10:06,607 --> 00:10:08,517
MOTHER, MY FATHER, MY BROTHER,
ED, MY HUSBAND, JACK, MY
DIRECTOR, BRIAN DE PALMA, MY

336
00:10:08,541 --> 00:10:10,519
ED, MY HUSBAND, JACK, MY
DIRECTOR, BRIAN DE PALMA, MY
YOGA TEACHER, MY DENTIST, AND

337
00:10:10,543 --> 00:10:12,589
DIRECTOR, BRIAN DE PALMA, MY
YOGA TEACHER, MY DENTIST, AND
EVERYONE ELSE WHO HELPED ME ON

338
00:10:12,613 --> 00:10:15,558
YOGA TEACHER, MY DENTIST, AND
EVERYONE ELSE WHO HELPED ME ON
MY SHORT CLIMB TO THE TOP.

339
00:10:15,582 --> 00:10:17,060
EVERYONE ELSE WHO HELPED ME ON
MY SHORT CLIMB TO THE TOP.
OH, AND BEFORE I FORGET, I

340
00:10:17,084 --> 00:10:18,595
MY SHORT CLIMB TO THE TOP.
OH, AND BEFORE I FORGET, I
WANT TO SAY TO THE ACADEMY

341
00:10:18,619 --> 00:10:20,396
OH, AND BEFORE I FORGET, I
WANT TO SAY TO THE ACADEMY
MEMBERS... NOT TO INFLUENCE YOUR

342
00:10:20,420 --> 00:10:22,531
WANT TO SAY TO THE ACADEMY
MEMBERS... NOT TO INFLUENCE YOUR
VOTE OR ANYTHING, BUT WHEN THE

343
00:10:22,555 --> 00:10:25,401
MEMBERS... NOT TO INFLUENCE YOUR
VOTE OR ANYTHING, BUT WHEN THE
BALLOTS GO OUT ON MONDAY...

344
00:10:25,425 --> 00:10:28,771
VOTE OR ANYTHING, BUT WHEN THE
BALLOTS GO OUT ON MONDAY...
JUST REMEMBER, MY BEST SCENE WAS

345
00:10:28,795 --> 00:10:31,207
BALLOTS GO OUT ON MONDAY...
JUST REMEMBER, MY BEST SCENE WAS
CUT FROM "CARRIE."

346
00:10:31,231 --> 00:10:34,978
JUST REMEMBER, MY BEST SCENE WAS
CUT FROM "CARRIE."
AND I'D LIKE TO, IF I CAN,

347
00:10:35,002 --> 00:10:37,513
CUT FROM "CARRIE."
AND I'D LIKE TO, IF I CAN,
RE-CREATE THAT SCENE FOR YOU NOW

348
00:10:37,537 --> 00:10:39,916
AND I'D LIKE TO, IF I CAN,
RE-CREATE THAT SCENE FOR YOU NOW
TO GIVE YOU MORE OF AN IDEA OF

349
00:10:39,940 --> 00:10:43,419
RE-CREATE THAT SCENE FOR YOU NOW
TO GIVE YOU MORE OF AN IDEA OF
MY FULL TALENT.

350
00:10:43,443 --> 00:10:45,822
TO GIVE YOU MORE OF AN IDEA OF
MY FULL TALENT.
IT'S THE DAY AFTER THE PROM.

351
00:10:45,846 --> 00:10:47,423
MY FULL TALENT.
IT'S THE DAY AFTER THE PROM.
[MUSIC PLAYS]

352
00:10:47,447 --> 00:10:50,026
IT'S THE DAY AFTER THE PROM.
[MUSIC PLAYS]
MOST OF THE KIDS AREN'T AROUND

353
00:10:50,050 --> 00:10:52,061
[MUSIC PLAYS]
MOST OF THE KIDS AREN'T AROUND
ANYMORE.

354
00:10:52,085 --> 00:10:55,498
MOST OF THE KIDS AREN'T AROUND
ANYMORE.
I'M ALONE ON A FIELD, A FOOTBALL

355
00:10:55,522 --> 00:10:56,733
ANYMORE.
I'M ALONE ON A FIELD, A FOOTBALL
FIELD.

356
00:10:56,757 --> 00:11:00,837
I'M ALONE ON A FIELD, A FOOTBALL
FIELD.
IT'S THE DAY OF THE BIG GAME.

357
00:11:00,861 --> 00:11:04,907
FIELD.
IT'S THE DAY OF THE BIG GAME.
AND I'VE ELECTED MYSELF...

358
00:11:04,931 --> 00:11:07,844
IT'S THE DAY OF THE BIG GAME.
AND I'VE ELECTED MYSELF...
OOPS!

359
00:11:07,868 --> 00:11:09,078
AND I'VE ELECTED MYSELF...
OOPS!
BATON QUEEN!

360
00:11:09,102 --> 00:11:10,980
OOPS!
BATON QUEEN!
[WHISTLE BLOWS]

361
00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:13,044
BATON QUEEN!
[WHISTLE BLOWS]
[MARCHING BAND PLAYS]

362
00:11:19,979 --> 00:11:22,480
[RHYTHMIC CLAPPING]

363
00:11:40,399 --> 00:11:43,568
[MUSIC ENDS]
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK!

364
00:11:53,112 --> 00:11:56,325
All: ♪ HMM ♪
♪ HOLD THE LETTUCE,
HOLD THE CHEESES ♪

365
00:11:56,349 --> 00:11:57,259
♪ HOLD THE LETTUCE,
HOLD THE CHEESES ♪
♪ SPECIAL ORDERS

366
00:11:57,283 --> 00:11:58,494
HOLD THE CHEESES ♪
♪ SPECIAL ORDERS
DON'T DISPLEASE US ♪

367
00:11:58,518 --> 00:11:59,361
♪ SPECIAL ORDERS
DON'T DISPLEASE US ♪
I'D LIKE A BURGER,

368
00:11:59,385 --> 00:11:59,929
DON'T DISPLEASE US ♪
I'D LIKE A BURGER,
MEDIUM-RARE.

369
00:11:59,953 --> 00:12:01,130
I'D LIKE A BURGER,
MEDIUM-RARE.
COULD YOU PUT GRILLED ONIONS ON

370
00:12:01,154 --> 00:12:02,031
MEDIUM-RARE.
COULD YOU PUT GRILLED ONIONS ON
THAT BUT NO PICKLES?

371
00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:02,999
COULD YOU PUT GRILLED ONIONS ON
THAT BUT NO PICKLES?
AND IF IT'S NOT TOO MUCH

372
00:12:03,023 --> 00:12:04,200
THAT BUT NO PICKLES?
AND IF IT'S NOT TOO MUCH
TROUBLE, WOULD YOU MIND POURING

373
00:12:04,224 --> 00:12:06,169
AND IF IT'S NOT TOO MUCH
TROUBLE, WOULD YOU MIND POURING
SOME COLOMBIAN FROG BLOOD

374
00:12:06,193 --> 00:12:07,670
TROUBLE, WOULD YOU MIND POURING
SOME COLOMBIAN FROG BLOOD
ALL OVER IT, PLEASE?

375
00:12:07,694 --> 00:12:12,274
SOME COLOMBIAN FROG BLOOD
ALL OVER IT, PLEASE?
NO TROUBLE AT ALL!

376
00:12:12,298 --> 00:12:14,510
ALL OVER IT, PLEASE?
NO TROUBLE AT ALL!
[SHRIEKING]

377
00:12:14,534 --> 00:12:15,611
NO TROUBLE AT ALL!
[SHRIEKING]
♪ HMM ♪

378
00:12:15,635 --> 00:12:16,913
[SHRIEKING]
♪ HMM ♪
All: ♪ BURGERS ANY WAY

379
00:12:16,937 --> 00:12:17,580
♪ HMM ♪
All: ♪ BURGERS ANY WAY
YOU WANT 'EM ♪

380
00:12:17,604 --> 00:12:18,314
All: ♪ BURGERS ANY WAY
YOU WANT 'EM ♪
♪ YOU TELL US

381
00:12:18,338 --> 00:12:19,648
YOU WANT 'EM ♪
♪ YOU TELL US
WHAT'S OFF OR ON 'EM ♪

382
00:12:19,672 --> 00:12:20,883
♪ YOU TELL US
WHAT'S OFF OR ON 'EM ♪
HI, I'D LIKE A BURGER,

383
00:12:20,907 --> 00:12:22,318
WHAT'S OFF OR ON 'EM ♪
HI, I'D LIKE A BURGER,
WELL-DONE, PUT A LITTLE RELISH

384
00:12:22,342 --> 00:12:23,452
HI, I'D LIKE A BURGER,
WELL-DONE, PUT A LITTLE RELISH
ON IT, SOME COLD-WATER

385
00:12:23,476 --> 00:12:24,887
WELL-DONE, PUT A LITTLE RELISH
ON IT, SOME COLD-WATER
DETERGENT, AND IF IT'S NOT TOO

386
00:12:24,911 --> 00:12:26,255
ON IT, SOME COLD-WATER
DETERGENT, AND IF IT'S NOT TOO
MUCH OF A PROBLEM, WOULD YOU

387
00:12:26,279 --> 00:12:27,656
DETERGENT, AND IF IT'S NOT TOO
MUCH OF A PROBLEM, WOULD YOU
MIND BLOWING YOUR NOSE ON THE

388
00:12:27,680 --> 00:12:30,626
MUCH OF A PROBLEM, WOULD YOU
MIND BLOWING YOUR NOSE ON THE
BUN?

389
00:12:30,650 --> 00:12:33,329
MIND BLOWING YOUR NOSE ON THE
BUN?
COMIN' UP!

390
00:12:33,353 --> 00:12:36,632
BUN?
COMIN' UP!
[BLOWS NOSE LOUDLY]

391
00:12:36,656 --> 00:12:37,666
COMIN' UP!
[BLOWS NOSE LOUDLY]
♪ HMM ♪

392
00:12:37,690 --> 00:12:38,500
[BLOWS NOSE LOUDLY]
♪ HMM ♪
All: ♪ DRIVE THROUGH

393
00:12:38,524 --> 00:12:39,769
♪ HMM ♪
All: ♪ DRIVE THROUGH
BURGER MASTER AND SEE ♪

394
00:12:39,793 --> 00:12:40,536
All: ♪ DRIVE THROUGH
BURGER MASTER AND SEE ♪
♪ BURGERS PLAIN

395
00:12:40,560 --> 00:12:41,604
BURGER MASTER AND SEE ♪
♪ BURGERS PLAIN
AND BURGERS FANCY ♪

396
00:12:41,628 --> 00:12:43,339
♪ BURGERS PLAIN
AND BURGERS FANCY ♪
HEY, I'D LIKE A BURGER.

397
00:12:43,363 --> 00:12:44,974
AND BURGERS FANCY ♪
HEY, I'D LIKE A BURGER.
HEY, ANYTHING ON THAT?

398
00:12:44,998 --> 00:12:48,211
HEY, I'D LIKE A BURGER.
HEY, ANYTHING ON THAT?
WHY, YES... A USED HAIRNET,

399
00:12:48,235 --> 00:12:49,779
HEY, ANYTHING ON THAT?
WHY, YES... A USED HAIRNET,
MOTH CRYSTALS, OLD RADIO PARTS,

400
00:12:49,803 --> 00:12:51,247
WHY, YES... A USED HAIRNET,
MOTH CRYSTALS, OLD RADIO PARTS,
CONFETTI, COLE SLAW, A CATNIP

401
00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:52,749
MOTH CRYSTALS, OLD RADIO PARTS,
CONFETTI, COLE SLAW, A CATNIP
MOUSE, AND THE ENTIRE CONTENTS

402
00:12:52,773 --> 00:12:53,682
CONFETTI, COLE SLAW, A CATNIP
MOUSE, AND THE ENTIRE CONTENTS
OF A LAVA LAMP.

403
00:12:53,706 --> 00:12:54,784
MOUSE, AND THE ENTIRE CONTENTS
OF A LAVA LAMP.
YOU'RE THE BOSS!

404
00:12:54,808 --> 00:12:55,985
OF A LAVA LAMP.
YOU'RE THE BOSS!
Announcer: YES, AT

405
00:12:56,009 --> 00:12:57,653
YOU'RE THE BOSS!
Announcer: YES, AT
BURGER MASTER, YOU'RE THE BOSS.

406
00:12:57,677 --> 00:12:59,321
Announcer: YES, AT
BURGER MASTER, YOU'RE THE BOSS.
BURGERS THE WAY YOU LIKE 'EM AT

407
00:12:59,345 --> 00:13:00,923
BURGER MASTER, YOU'RE THE BOSS.
BURGERS THE WAY YOU LIKE 'EM AT
PRICES THAT'LL MAKE YOU WONDER

408
00:13:00,947 --> 00:13:02,191
BURGERS THE WAY YOU LIKE 'EM AT
PRICES THAT'LL MAKE YOU WONDER
WHERE WE GET OUR MEAT.

409
00:13:02,215 --> 00:13:03,525
PRICES THAT'LL MAKE YOU WONDER
WHERE WE GET OUR MEAT.
SO, WHY NOT DROP DOWN TO

410
00:13:03,549 --> 00:13:05,795
WHERE WE GET OUR MEAT.
SO, WHY NOT DROP DOWN TO
BURGER MASTER TODAY?

411
00:13:05,819 --> 00:13:07,830
SO, WHY NOT DROP DOWN TO
BURGER MASTER TODAY?
OH, RIGHT.

412
00:13:07,854 --> 00:13:09,498
BURGER MASTER TODAY?
OH, RIGHT.
HERE THEY ARE, SIR... 50

413
00:13:09,522 --> 00:13:11,367
OH, RIGHT.
HERE THEY ARE, SIR... 50
BURGERS, EACH PREPARED IN THEIR

414
00:13:11,391 --> 00:13:12,468
HERE THEY ARE, SIR... 50
BURGERS, EACH PREPARED IN THEIR
OWN SPECIAL WAY.

415
00:13:12,492 --> 00:13:13,870
BURGERS, EACH PREPARED IN THEIR
OWN SPECIAL WAY.
OH, ONE MORE THING.

416
00:13:13,894 --> 00:13:14,971
OWN SPECIAL WAY.
OH, ONE MORE THING.
WOULD YOU MIND JUMPING UP AND

417
00:13:14,995 --> 00:13:15,972
OH, ONE MORE THING.
WOULD YOU MIND JUMPING UP AND
DOWN ON THEM UNTIL THEY'RE

418
00:13:15,996 --> 00:13:17,106
WOULD YOU MIND JUMPING UP AND
DOWN ON THEM UNTIL THEY'RE
MASHED INTO A DISGUSTING PULP?

419
00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:18,741
DOWN ON THEM UNTIL THEY'RE
MASHED INTO A DISGUSTING PULP?
NO TROUBLE AT ALL!

420
00:13:18,765 --> 00:13:20,509
MASHED INTO A DISGUSTING PULP?
NO TROUBLE AT ALL!
All: ♪ AT BURGER MASTER, YOU

421
00:13:20,533 --> 00:13:21,978
NO TROUBLE AT ALL!
All: ♪ AT BURGER MASTER, YOU
ARE THE BOSS ♪

422
00:13:22,002 --> 00:13:24,147
All: ♪ AT BURGER MASTER, YOU
ARE THE BOSS ♪
♪ AT BURGER MASTER, YOU ARE THE

423
00:13:24,171 --> 00:13:25,014
ARE THE BOSS ♪
♪ AT BURGER MASTER, YOU ARE THE
BOSS ♪

424
00:13:25,038 --> 00:13:27,416
♪ AT BURGER MASTER, YOU ARE THE
BOSS ♪
♪ AT BURGER MASTER, YOU ARE THE

425
00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:28,184
BOSS ♪
♪ AT BURGER MASTER, YOU ARE THE
BOSS ♪

426
00:13:28,208 --> 00:13:30,586
♪ AT BURGER MASTER, YOU ARE THE
BOSS ♪
♪ AT BURGER MASTER, YOU ARE THE

427
00:13:30,610 --> 00:13:34,356
BOSS ♪
♪ AT BURGER MASTER, YOU ARE THE
BOSS ♪

428
00:13:34,380 --> 00:13:36,340
♪ AT BURGER MASTER, YOU ARE THE
BOSS ♪
[BAND PLAYS]

429
00:13:48,393 --> 00:13:52,141
Announcer: AND NOW, LIVE FROM
THE WHITE HOUSE,
"ASK PRESIDENT CARTER."

430
00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:53,976
THE WHITE HOUSE,
"ASK PRESIDENT CARTER."
[As Walter Cronkite]

431
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:55,945
"ASK PRESIDENT CARTER."
[As Walter Cronkite]
GOOD EVENING AND WELCOME TO

432
00:13:55,969 --> 00:13:58,247
[As Walter Cronkite]
GOOD EVENING AND WELCOME TO
NUMBER 10 IN THE CBS RADIO

433
00:13:58,271 --> 00:14:00,449
GOOD EVENING AND WELCOME TO
NUMBER 10 IN THE CBS RADIO
SERIES "ASK PRESIDENT CARTER," A

434
00:14:00,473 --> 00:14:02,185
NUMBER 10 IN THE CBS RADIO
SERIES "ASK PRESIDENT CARTER," A
CONTINUING EXPERIMENT IN

435
00:14:02,209 --> 00:14:04,320
SERIES "ASK PRESIDENT CARTER," A
CONTINUING EXPERIMENT IN
PRESIDENTIAL COMMUNICATION WITH

436
00:14:04,344 --> 00:14:05,822
CONTINUING EXPERIMENT IN
PRESIDENTIAL COMMUNICATION WITH
THE AMERICAN PEOPLE.

437
00:14:05,846 --> 00:14:07,857
PRESIDENTIAL COMMUNICATION WITH
THE AMERICAN PEOPLE.
MR. PRESIDENT, OUR FIRST CALL

438
00:14:07,881 --> 00:14:09,125
THE AMERICAN PEOPLE.
MR. PRESIDENT, OUR FIRST CALL
THIS WEEK COMES FROM

439
00:14:09,149 --> 00:14:10,759
MR. PRESIDENT, OUR FIRST CALL
THIS WEEK COMES FROM
MRS. EDWARD HOBRET, OR MAYBE

440
00:14:10,783 --> 00:14:11,694
THIS WEEK COMES FROM
MRS. EDWARD HOBRET, OR MAYBE
IT'S HOBREET.

441
00:14:11,718 --> 00:14:13,395
MRS. EDWARD HOBRET, OR MAYBE
IT'S HOBREET.
[Echoing] THAT'S HORBET!

442
00:14:13,419 --> 00:14:15,097
IT'S HOBREET.
[Echoing] THAT'S HORBET!
MRS. EDWARD HORBET, EXCUSE

443
00:14:15,121 --> 00:14:16,765
[Echoing] THAT'S HORBET!
MRS. EDWARD HORBET, EXCUSE
ME, OF KANSAS.

444
00:14:16,789 --> 00:14:18,201
MRS. EDWARD HORBET, EXCUSE
ME, OF KANSAS.
HELLO, MRS. HORBET.

445
00:14:18,225 --> 00:14:19,702
ME, OF KANSAS.
HELLO, MRS. HORBET.
HELLO, MR. PRESIDENT.

446
00:14:19,726 --> 00:14:20,903
HELLO, MRS. HORBET.
HELLO, MR. PRESIDENT.
HOW ARE YOU TODAY?

447
00:14:20,927 --> 00:14:21,838
HELLO, MR. PRESIDENT.
HOW ARE YOU TODAY?
VERY FINE.

448
00:14:21,862 --> 00:14:23,739
HOW ARE YOU TODAY?
VERY FINE.
COULD YOU TURN YOUR RADIO DOWN,

449
00:14:23,763 --> 00:14:24,340
VERY FINE.
COULD YOU TURN YOUR RADIO DOWN,
PLEASE?

450
00:14:24,364 --> 00:14:25,141
COULD YOU TURN YOUR RADIO DOWN,
PLEASE?
OH, YES.

451
00:14:25,165 --> 00:14:26,876
PLEASE?
OH, YES.
MRS. HOBERTH, DO YOU HAVE A

452
00:14:26,900 --> 00:14:28,477
OH, YES.
MRS. HOBERTH, DO YOU HAVE A
QUESTION FOR THE PRESIDENT?

453
00:14:28,501 --> 00:14:30,279
MRS. HOBERTH, DO YOU HAVE A
QUESTION FOR THE PRESIDENT?
YES, SIR, I'M AN EMPLOYEE OF

454
00:14:30,303 --> 00:14:31,814
QUESTION FOR THE PRESIDENT?
YES, SIR, I'M AN EMPLOYEE OF
THE U.S. POSTAL SERVICE IN

455
00:14:31,838 --> 00:14:32,414
YES, SIR, I'M AN EMPLOYEE OF
THE U.S. POSTAL SERVICE IN
KANSAS.

456
00:14:32,438 --> 00:14:34,050
THE U.S. POSTAL SERVICE IN
KANSAS.
LAST YEAR, THEY INSTALLED AN

457
00:14:34,074 --> 00:14:35,918
KANSAS.
LAST YEAR, THEY INSTALLED AN
AUTOMATED LETTER-SORTING SYSTEM

458
00:14:35,942 --> 00:14:37,653
LAST YEAR, THEY INSTALLED AN
AUTOMATED LETTER-SORTING SYSTEM
CALLED THE MARVEX 3000 HERE IN

459
00:14:37,677 --> 00:14:38,321
AUTOMATED LETTER-SORTING SYSTEM
CALLED THE MARVEX 3000 HERE IN
OUR BRANCH.

460
00:14:38,345 --> 00:14:38,787
CALLED THE MARVEX 3000 HERE IN
OUR BRANCH.
YES.

461
00:14:38,811 --> 00:14:40,223
OUR BRANCH.
YES.
BUT THE SYSTEM DOESN'T WORK

462
00:14:40,247 --> 00:14:40,789
YES.
BUT THE SYSTEM DOESN'T WORK
TOO GOOD.

463
00:14:40,813 --> 00:14:42,291
BUT THE SYSTEM DOESN'T WORK
TOO GOOD.
LETTERS KEEP GETTING CLOGGED IN

464
00:14:42,315 --> 00:14:43,659
TOO GOOD.
LETTERS KEEP GETTING CLOGGED IN
THE FIRST-LEVEL SORTING GRID.

465
00:14:43,683 --> 00:14:45,061
LETTERS KEEP GETTING CLOGGED IN
THE FIRST-LEVEL SORTING GRID.
IS THERE ANYTHING THAT CAN BE

466
00:14:45,085 --> 00:14:47,129
THE FIRST-LEVEL SORTING GRID.
IS THERE ANYTHING THAT CAN BE
DONE ABOUT THIS?

467
00:14:47,153 --> 00:14:48,297
IS THERE ANYTHING THAT CAN BE
DONE ABOUT THIS?
WELL, MRS. HORBET, VICE

468
00:14:48,321 --> 00:14:49,531
DONE ABOUT THIS?
WELL, MRS. HORBET, VICE
PRESIDENT MONDALE AND MYSELF

469
00:14:49,555 --> 00:14:50,733
WELL, MRS. HORBET, VICE
PRESIDENT MONDALE AND MYSELF
WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT THE

470
00:14:50,757 --> 00:14:52,068
PRESIDENT MONDALE AND MYSELF
WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT THE
MARVEX 3000 THIS MORNING, AS A

471
00:14:52,092 --> 00:14:52,835
WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT THE
MARVEX 3000 THIS MORNING, AS A
MATTER OF FACT.

472
00:14:52,859 --> 00:14:53,870
MARVEX 3000 THIS MORNING, AS A
MATTER OF FACT.
I DO HAVE A SUGGESTION.

473
00:14:53,894 --> 00:14:55,271
MATTER OF FACT.
I DO HAVE A SUGGESTION.
YOU KNOW THE CALIPER POST ON THE

474
00:14:55,295 --> 00:14:56,605
I DO HAVE A SUGGESTION.
YOU KNOW THE CALIPER POST ON THE
FIRST GRID'S SLIDING ARMATURE?

475
00:14:56,629 --> 00:14:57,806
YOU KNOW THE CALIPER POST ON THE
FIRST GRID'S SLIDING ARMATURE?
OKAY, THERE'S A THREE-DIGIT

476
00:14:57,830 --> 00:14:59,208
FIRST GRID'S SLIDING ARMATURE?
OKAY, THERE'S A THREE-DIGIT
SETTING THERE WHERE THE POST AND

477
00:14:59,232 --> 00:15:00,076
OKAY, THERE'S A THREE-DIGIT
SETTING THERE WHERE THE POST AND
THE ARMATURE MEET.

478
00:15:00,100 --> 00:15:01,377
SETTING THERE WHERE THE POST AND
THE ARMATURE MEET.
WHEN THE SYSTEM WAS INSTALLED,

479
00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:02,778
THE ARMATURE MEET.
WHEN THE SYSTEM WAS INSTALLED,
THE ANGLE OF CROSS-SLIDE WAS PUT

480
00:15:02,802 --> 00:15:04,347
WHEN THE SYSTEM WAS INSTALLED,
THE ANGLE OF CROSS-SLIDE WAS PUT
AT A MAXIMUM SETTING OF 1.

481
00:15:04,371 --> 00:15:06,115
THE ANGLE OF CROSS-SLIDE WAS PUT
AT A MAXIMUM SETTING OF 1.
IF YOU RESET IT AT THE 3 MARK,

482
00:15:06,139 --> 00:15:07,583
AT A MAXIMUM SETTING OF 1.
IF YOU RESET IT AT THE 3 MARK,
I THINK YOU'LL SOLVE ANY

483
00:15:07,607 --> 00:15:09,051
IF YOU RESET IT AT THE 3 MARK,
I THINK YOU'LL SOLVE ANY
CLOGGING PROBLEMS IN THE

484
00:15:09,075 --> 00:15:09,685
I THINK YOU'LL SOLVE ANY
CLOGGING PROBLEMS IN THE
MACHINE.

485
00:15:09,709 --> 00:15:11,420
CLOGGING PROBLEMS IN THE
MACHINE.
OH! THANKS, MR. PRESIDENT.

486
00:15:11,444 --> 00:15:13,289
MACHINE.
OH! THANKS, MR. PRESIDENT.
BY THE WAY, I THINK YOU'RE DOING

487
00:15:13,313 --> 00:15:15,724
OH! THANKS, MR. PRESIDENT.
BY THE WAY, I THINK YOU'RE DOING
A GREAT JOB.

488
00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:17,326
BY THE WAY, I THINK YOU'RE DOING
A GREAT JOB.
LOOKS LIKE YOU'VE BEEN DOING

489
00:15:17,350 --> 00:15:18,827
A GREAT JOB.
LOOKS LIKE YOU'VE BEEN DOING
YOUR HOMEWORK, MR. PRESIDENT.

490
00:15:18,851 --> 00:15:19,962
LOOKS LIKE YOU'VE BEEN DOING
YOUR HOMEWORK, MR. PRESIDENT.
I'D LIKE TO TAKE THIS

491
00:15:19,986 --> 00:15:21,563
YOUR HOMEWORK, MR. PRESIDENT.
I'D LIKE TO TAKE THIS
OPPORTUNITY TO SAY THAT NONE OF

492
00:15:21,587 --> 00:15:23,099
I'D LIKE TO TAKE THIS
OPPORTUNITY TO SAY THAT NONE OF
THESE CALLS ARE SCREENED, THAT

493
00:15:23,123 --> 00:15:24,433
OPPORTUNITY TO SAY THAT NONE OF
THESE CALLS ARE SCREENED, THAT
THE PEOPLE OF AMERICA ARE

494
00:15:24,457 --> 00:15:25,768
THESE CALLS ARE SCREENED, THAT
THE PEOPLE OF AMERICA ARE
TALKING DIRECTLY WITH THE

495
00:15:25,792 --> 00:15:26,702
THE PEOPLE OF AMERICA ARE
TALKING DIRECTLY WITH THE
PRESIDENT.

496
00:15:26,726 --> 00:15:28,905
TALKING DIRECTLY WITH THE
PRESIDENT.
OUR NEXT CALL COMES FROM A MAN

497
00:15:28,929 --> 00:15:31,173
PRESIDENT.
OUR NEXT CALL COMES FROM A MAN
WHO CALLS HIMSELF DR. MIDNIGHT.

498
00:15:31,197 --> 00:15:32,441
OUR NEXT CALL COMES FROM A MAN
WHO CALLS HIMSELF DR. MIDNIGHT.
HELLO, DR. MIDNIGHT.

499
00:15:32,465 --> 00:15:34,010
WHO CALLS HIMSELF DR. MIDNIGHT.
HELLO, DR. MIDNIGHT.
[Shouting] IS ROSELYN

500
00:15:34,034 --> 00:15:35,111
HELLO, DR. MIDNIGHT.
[Shouting] IS ROSELYN
THERE?!

501
00:15:35,135 --> 00:15:38,180
[Shouting] IS ROSELYN
THERE?!
I REALLY LIKE HER!

502
00:15:38,204 --> 00:15:39,515
THERE?!
I REALLY LIKE HER!
ALL RIGHT, SIR, THANK YOU

503
00:15:39,539 --> 00:15:40,616
I REALLY LIKE HER!
ALL RIGHT, SIR, THANK YOU
VERY MUCH FOR CALLING.

504
00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:42,785
ALL RIGHT, SIR, THANK YOU
VERY MUCH FOR CALLING.
HEY, CRONKITE, YOU STUPID

505
00:15:42,809 --> 00:15:46,255
VERY MUCH FOR CALLING.
HEY, CRONKITE, YOU STUPID
MOTHER...

506
00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:48,357
HEY, CRONKITE, YOU STUPID
MOTHER...
NICE ONE, MR. PRESIDENT.

507
00:15:48,381 --> 00:15:49,058
MOTHER...
NICE ONE, MR. PRESIDENT.
HA HA.

508
00:15:49,082 --> 00:15:51,227
NICE ONE, MR. PRESIDENT.
HA HA.
OUR NEXT CALL IS PETER ELTON

509
00:15:51,251 --> 00:15:53,462
HA HA.
OUR NEXT CALL IS PETER ELTON
OF WESTBURG, OREGON, WHO I AM

510
00:15:53,486 --> 00:15:55,364
OUR NEXT CALL IS PETER ELTON
OF WESTBURG, OREGON, WHO I AM
TOLD IS 17 YEARS OF AGE.

511
00:15:55,388 --> 00:15:57,199
OF WESTBURG, OREGON, WHO I AM
TOLD IS 17 YEARS OF AGE.
HELLO? HELLO?

512
00:15:57,223 --> 00:15:59,035
TOLD IS 17 YEARS OF AGE.
HELLO? HELLO?
HELLO, PETER.

513
00:15:59,059 --> 00:16:00,202
HELLO? HELLO?
HELLO, PETER.
IS THIS THE PRESIDENT?

514
00:16:00,226 --> 00:16:00,937
HELLO, PETER.
IS THIS THE PRESIDENT?
YES, IT IS.

515
00:16:00,961 --> 00:16:02,271
IS THIS THE PRESIDENT?
YES, IT IS.
DO YOU HAVE A QUESTION FOR

516
00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:03,005
YES, IT IS.
DO YOU HAVE A QUESTION FOR
THE PRESIDENT?

517
00:16:03,029 --> 00:16:07,776
DO YOU HAVE A QUESTION FOR
THE PRESIDENT?
I, UH, I TOOK SOME ACID.

518
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:09,345
THE PRESIDENT?
I, UH, I TOOK SOME ACID.
I'M AFRAID TO LEAVE MY

519
00:16:09,369 --> 00:16:11,414
I, UH, I TOOK SOME ACID.
I'M AFRAID TO LEAVE MY
APARTMENT, AND I CAN'T WEAR ANY

520
00:16:11,438 --> 00:16:12,148
I'M AFRAID TO LEAVE MY
APARTMENT, AND I CAN'T WEAR ANY
CLOTHES.

521
00:16:12,172 --> 00:16:14,283
APARTMENT, AND I CAN'T WEAR ANY
CLOTHES.
AND THE CEILING IS DRIPPING, AND

522
00:16:14,307 --> 00:16:15,017
CLOTHES.
AND THE CEILING IS DRIPPING, AND
UH, I...

523
00:16:15,041 --> 00:16:17,153
AND THE CEILING IS DRIPPING, AND
UH, I...
WELL, THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR

524
00:16:17,177 --> 00:16:18,187
UH, I...
WELL, THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR
CALLING, SIR.

525
00:16:18,211 --> 00:16:19,255
WELL, THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR
CALLING, SIR.
NO, JUST A MINUTE, WALTER.

526
00:16:19,279 --> 00:16:20,089
CALLING, SIR.
NO, JUST A MINUTE, WALTER.
THIS GUY'S IN TROUBLE.

527
00:16:20,113 --> 00:16:21,257
NO, JUST A MINUTE, WALTER.
THIS GUY'S IN TROUBLE.
I THINK I BETTER TRY TO TALK HIM

528
00:16:21,281 --> 00:16:21,590
THIS GUY'S IN TROUBLE.
I THINK I BETTER TRY TO TALK HIM
DOWN.

529
00:16:21,614 --> 00:16:21,924
I THINK I BETTER TRY TO TALK HIM
DOWN.
PETER?

530
00:16:21,948 --> 00:16:23,859
DOWN.
PETER?
YEAH?

531
00:16:23,883 --> 00:16:25,727
PETER?
YEAH?
PETER, WHAT DID THE ACID LOOK

532
00:16:25,751 --> 00:16:26,228
YEAH?
PETER, WHAT DID THE ACID LOOK
LIKE?

533
00:16:26,252 --> 00:16:28,030
PETER, WHAT DID THE ACID LOOK
LIKE?
UM, THEY WERE THESE LITTLE

534
00:16:28,054 --> 00:16:28,931
LIKE?
UM, THEY WERE THESE LITTLE
ORANGE PILLS.

535
00:16:28,955 --> 00:16:30,566
UM, THEY WERE THESE LITTLE
ORANGE PILLS.
WERE THEY BARREL-SHAPED?

536
00:16:30,590 --> 00:16:31,367
ORANGE PILLS.
WERE THEY BARREL-SHAPED?
UH, YES.

537
00:16:31,391 --> 00:16:33,035
WERE THEY BARREL-SHAPED?
UH, YES.
OKAY, RIGHT, YOU DID SOME

538
00:16:33,059 --> 00:16:36,705
UH, YES.
OKAY, RIGHT, YOU DID SOME
ORANGE SUNSHINE, PETER.

539
00:16:36,729 --> 00:16:37,974
OKAY, RIGHT, YOU DID SOME
ORANGE SUNSHINE, PETER.
VERY GOOD OF YOU TO KNOW

540
00:16:37,998 --> 00:16:38,607
ORANGE SUNSHINE, PETER.
VERY GOOD OF YOU TO KNOW
ABOUT THIS.

541
00:16:38,631 --> 00:16:40,076
VERY GOOD OF YOU TO KNOW
ABOUT THIS.
HOW LONG AGO DID YOU TAKE IT,

542
00:16:40,100 --> 00:16:40,509
ABOUT THIS.
HOW LONG AGO DID YOU TAKE IT,
PETER?

543
00:16:40,533 --> 00:16:41,344
HOW LONG AGO DID YOU TAKE IT,
PETER?
I DON'T KNOW.

544
00:16:41,368 --> 00:16:42,411
PETER?
I DON'T KNOW.
I CAN'T READ MY WATCH.

545
00:16:42,435 --> 00:16:43,612
I DON'T KNOW.
I CAN'T READ MY WATCH.
ALL RIGHT, PETER, JUST

546
00:16:43,636 --> 00:16:44,080
I CAN'T READ MY WATCH.
ALL RIGHT, PETER, JUST
LISTEN.

547
00:16:44,104 --> 00:16:45,348
ALL RIGHT, PETER, JUST
LISTEN.
EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE FINE.

548
00:16:45,372 --> 00:16:46,615
LISTEN.
EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE FINE.
YOU'RE VERY HIGH RIGHT NOW.

549
00:16:46,639 --> 00:16:48,050
EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE FINE.
YOU'RE VERY HIGH RIGHT NOW.
YOU'LL PROBABLY BE THAT WAY FOR

550
00:16:48,074 --> 00:16:49,118
YOU'RE VERY HIGH RIGHT NOW.
YOU'LL PROBABLY BE THAT WAY FOR
ABOUT FIVE MORE HOURS.

551
00:16:49,142 --> 00:16:50,286
YOU'LL PROBABLY BE THAT WAY FOR
ABOUT FIVE MORE HOURS.
TRY TAKING SOME VITAMIN-B

552
00:16:50,310 --> 00:16:51,553
ABOUT FIVE MORE HOURS.
TRY TAKING SOME VITAMIN-B
COMPLEX, VITAMIN-C COMPLEX.

553
00:16:51,577 --> 00:16:53,022
TRY TAKING SOME VITAMIN-B
COMPLEX, VITAMIN-C COMPLEX.
IF YOU HAVE A BEER, GO AHEAD AND

554
00:16:53,046 --> 00:16:53,589
COMPLEX, VITAMIN-C COMPLEX.
IF YOU HAVE A BEER, GO AHEAD AND
DRINK IT.

555
00:16:53,613 --> 00:16:54,957
IF YOU HAVE A BEER, GO AHEAD AND
DRINK IT.
JUST REMEMBER, YOU'RE A LIVING

556
00:16:54,981 --> 00:16:56,292
DRINK IT.
JUST REMEMBER, YOU'RE A LIVING
ORGANISM ON THIS PLANET, AND

557
00:16:56,316 --> 00:16:57,693
JUST REMEMBER, YOU'RE A LIVING
ORGANISM ON THIS PLANET, AND
YOU'RE VERY SAFE... YOU'VE JUST

558
00:16:57,717 --> 00:16:58,660
ORGANISM ON THIS PLANET, AND
YOU'RE VERY SAFE... YOU'VE JUST
TAKEN A HEAVY DRUG.

559
00:16:58,684 --> 00:16:59,996
YOU'RE VERY SAFE... YOU'VE JUST
TAKEN A HEAVY DRUG.
NOW, JUST RELAX, STAY INSIDE,

560
00:17:00,020 --> 00:17:01,430
TAKEN A HEAVY DRUG.
NOW, JUST RELAX, STAY INSIDE,
AND LISTEN TO SOME MUSIC, OKAY?

561
00:17:01,454 --> 00:17:04,600
NOW, JUST RELAX, STAY INSIDE,
AND LISTEN TO SOME MUSIC, OKAY?
DO YOU HAVE ANY ALLMAN BROTHERS?

562
00:17:04,624 --> 00:17:05,868
AND LISTEN TO SOME MUSIC, OKAY?
DO YOU HAVE ANY ALLMAN BROTHERS?
YEAH, YEAH, I DO, SIR.

563
00:17:05,892 --> 00:17:07,336
DO YOU HAVE ANY ALLMAN BROTHERS?
YEAH, YEAH, I DO, SIR.
EVERYTHING'S OKAY, HUH, JIMMY?

564
00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:08,404
YEAH, YEAH, I DO, SIR.
EVERYTHING'S OKAY, HUH, JIMMY?
IT SURE IS, PETER.

565
00:17:08,428 --> 00:17:09,872
EVERYTHING'S OKAY, HUH, JIMMY?
IT SURE IS, PETER.
YOU KNOW, I'M AGAINST DRUG USE

566
00:17:09,896 --> 00:17:11,307
IT SURE IS, PETER.
YOU KNOW, I'M AGAINST DRUG USE
MYSELF, BUT I'M NOT GONNA LAY

567
00:17:11,331 --> 00:17:12,441
YOU KNOW, I'M AGAINST DRUG USE
MYSELF, BUT I'M NOT GONNA LAY
THAT ON YOU RIGHT NOW.

568
00:17:12,465 --> 00:17:13,809
MYSELF, BUT I'M NOT GONNA LAY
THAT ON YOU RIGHT NOW.
JUST MELLOW OUT THE BEST YOU

569
00:17:13,833 --> 00:17:14,443
THAT ON YOU RIGHT NOW.
JUST MELLOW OUT THE BEST YOU
CAN, OKAY?

570
00:17:14,467 --> 00:17:14,977
JUST MELLOW OUT THE BEST YOU
CAN, OKAY?
OKAY.

571
00:17:15,001 --> 00:17:15,544
CAN, OKAY?
OKAY.
OKAY.

572
00:17:15,568 --> 00:17:16,912
OKAY.
OKAY.
WELL DONE, MR. PRESIDENT.

573
00:17:16,936 --> 00:17:21,250
OKAY.
WELL DONE, MR. PRESIDENT.
BRAVO.

574
00:17:21,274 --> 00:17:23,119
WELL DONE, MR. PRESIDENT.
BRAVO.
WALTER, I'LL CALL PETER BACK

575
00:17:23,143 --> 00:17:24,987
BRAVO.
WALTER, I'LL CALL PETER BACK
ON MONDAY TO SEE IF HE GOT DOWN

576
00:17:25,011 --> 00:17:25,587
WALTER, I'LL CALL PETER BACK
ON MONDAY TO SEE IF HE GOT DOWN
OKAY.

577
00:17:25,611 --> 00:17:27,756
ON MONDAY TO SEE IF HE GOT DOWN
OKAY.
WELL, WE HAVE ONE MORE PHONE

578
00:17:27,780 --> 00:17:29,558
OKAY.
WELL, WE HAVE ONE MORE PHONE
CALL, THE FINAL PHONE CALL FROM

579
00:17:29,582 --> 00:17:30,692
WELL, WE HAVE ONE MORE PHONE
CALL, THE FINAL PHONE CALL FROM
MR. JOHN SMITH OF

580
00:17:30,716 --> 00:17:32,428
CALL, THE FINAL PHONE CALL FROM
MR. JOHN SMITH OF
SAN LUIS OBISPO, CALIFORNIA.

581
00:17:32,452 --> 00:17:33,462
MR. JOHN SMITH OF
SAN LUIS OBISPO, CALIFORNIA.
HELLO, JOHN.

582
00:17:33,486 --> 00:17:34,897
SAN LUIS OBISPO, CALIFORNIA.
HELLO, JOHN.
[As Richard Nixon]

583
00:17:34,921 --> 00:17:36,432
HELLO, JOHN.
[As Richard Nixon]
HELLO, MR. PRESIDENT.

584
00:17:36,456 --> 00:17:38,300
[As Richard Nixon]
HELLO, MR. PRESIDENT.
I JUST WANTED TO SAY THAT I

585
00:17:38,324 --> 00:17:42,104
HELLO, MR. PRESIDENT.
I JUST WANTED TO SAY THAT I
THINK YOU'RE DOING A GREAT JOB.

586
00:17:42,128 --> 00:17:43,472
I JUST WANTED TO SAY THAT I
THINK YOU'RE DOING A GREAT JOB.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

587
00:17:43,496 --> 00:17:45,174
THINK YOU'RE DOING A GREAT JOB.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
I, MYSELF, WAS EMPLOYED AT

588
00:17:45,198 --> 00:17:46,742
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
I, MYSELF, WAS EMPLOYED AT
THE WHITE HOUSE FOR SEVERAL

589
00:17:46,766 --> 00:17:48,077
I, MYSELF, WAS EMPLOYED AT
THE WHITE HOUSE FOR SEVERAL
YEARS DURING THE NIXON

590
00:17:48,101 --> 00:17:49,078
THE WHITE HOUSE FOR SEVERAL
YEARS DURING THE NIXON
ADMINISTRATION.

591
00:17:49,102 --> 00:17:50,913
YEARS DURING THE NIXON
ADMINISTRATION.
AND WHILE I WAS WORKING THERE, I

592
00:17:50,937 --> 00:17:52,281
ADMINISTRATION.
AND WHILE I WAS WORKING THERE, I
FORGOT SOMETHING ON THE

593
00:17:52,305 --> 00:17:52,981
AND WHILE I WAS WORKING THERE, I
FORGOT SOMETHING ON THE
PREMISES.

594
00:17:53,005 --> 00:17:55,084
FORGOT SOMETHING ON THE
PREMISES.
YES. WHAT WAS IT?

595
00:17:55,108 --> 00:17:56,852
PREMISES.
YES. WHAT WAS IT?
WELL, YOU KNOW THE

596
00:17:56,876 --> 00:17:59,288
YES. WHAT WAS IT?
WELL, YOU KNOW THE
FRANKLIN DELANO ROOSEVELT CHEST

597
00:17:59,312 --> 00:18:01,457
WELL, YOU KNOW THE
FRANKLIN DELANO ROOSEVELT CHEST
OF DRAWERS IN YOUR BEDROOM?

598
00:18:01,481 --> 00:18:02,391
FRANKLIN DELANO ROOSEVELT CHEST
OF DRAWERS IN YOUR BEDROOM?
YES, I DO.

599
00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:04,060
OF DRAWERS IN YOUR BEDROOM?
YES, I DO.
CHECK THE BOTTOM DRAWER.

600
00:18:04,084 --> 00:18:05,994
YES, I DO.
CHECK THE BOTTOM DRAWER.
YOU'LL FIND AN ENVELOPE TAPED TO

601
00:18:06,018 --> 00:18:06,828
CHECK THE BOTTOM DRAWER.
YOU'LL FIND AN ENVELOPE TAPED TO
THE BOTTOM.

602
00:18:06,852 --> 00:18:08,730
YOU'LL FIND AN ENVELOPE TAPED TO
THE BOTTOM.
THERE'S SEVERAL THOUSAND DOLLARS

603
00:18:08,754 --> 00:18:10,099
THE BOTTOM.
THERE'S SEVERAL THOUSAND DOLLARS
IN SMALL BILLS IN IT.

604
00:18:10,123 --> 00:18:11,534
THERE'S SEVERAL THOUSAND DOLLARS
IN SMALL BILLS IN IT.
PLEASE SEND IT TO ME...

605
00:18:11,558 --> 00:18:13,202
IN SMALL BILLS IN IT.
PLEASE SEND IT TO ME...
JOHN SMITH, CARE OF GENERAL

606
00:18:13,226 --> 00:18:14,770
PLEASE SEND IT TO ME...
JOHN SMITH, CARE OF GENERAL
DELIVERY, SAN CLEMENTE,

607
00:18:14,794 --> 00:18:16,738
JOHN SMITH, CARE OF GENERAL
DELIVERY, SAN CLEMENTE,
CALIFORNIA.

608
00:18:16,762 --> 00:18:18,274
DELIVERY, SAN CLEMENTE,
CALIFORNIA.
I SURELY WILL. THANK YOU.

609
00:18:18,298 --> 00:18:19,408
CALIFORNIA.
I SURELY WILL. THANK YOU.
WELL, THANK YOU,

610
00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:20,276
I SURELY WILL. THANK YOU.
WELL, THANK YOU,
MR. PRESIDENT.

611
00:18:20,300 --> 00:18:21,843
WELL, THANK YOU,
MR. PRESIDENT.
OUR TIME IS UP FOR THIS WEEK.

612
00:18:21,867 --> 00:18:23,579
MR. PRESIDENT.
OUR TIME IS UP FOR THIS WEEK.
BUT LET ME REMIND YOU THAT IT IS

613
00:18:23,603 --> 00:18:25,314
OUR TIME IS UP FOR THIS WEEK.
BUT LET ME REMIND YOU THAT IT IS
NOW TIME TO BUY YOUR TICKETS FOR

614
00:18:25,338 --> 00:18:26,915
BUT LET ME REMIND YOU THAT IT IS
NOW TIME TO BUY YOUR TICKETS FOR
THE FIRST AMERICAN "I SLEPT AT

615
00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:28,650
NOW TIME TO BUY YOUR TICKETS FOR
THE FIRST AMERICAN "I SLEPT AT
THE WHITE HOUSE" LOTTERY ON SALE

616
00:18:28,674 --> 00:18:30,152
THE FIRST AMERICAN "I SLEPT AT
THE WHITE HOUSE" LOTTERY ON SALE
AT FEDERAL OFFICE BUILDINGS

617
00:18:30,176 --> 00:18:30,886
THE WHITE HOUSE" LOTTERY ON SALE
AT FEDERAL OFFICE BUILDINGS
EVERYWHERE.

618
00:18:30,910 --> 00:18:32,088
AT FEDERAL OFFICE BUILDINGS
EVERYWHERE.
THE TICKETS ARE ONLY A $1,

619
00:18:32,112 --> 00:18:33,255
EVERYWHERE.
THE TICKETS ARE ONLY A $1,
AND MAYBE SOMEBODY OUT THERE

620
00:18:33,279 --> 00:18:34,457
THE TICKETS ARE ONLY A $1,
AND MAYBE SOMEBODY OUT THERE
WILL WIN AN ALL-EXPENSE-PAID

621
00:18:34,481 --> 00:18:35,724
AND MAYBE SOMEBODY OUT THERE
WILL WIN AN ALL-EXPENSE-PAID
TRIP TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH US

622
00:18:35,748 --> 00:18:36,559
WILL WIN AN ALL-EXPENSE-PAID
TRIP TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH US
HERE IN WASHINGTON.

623
00:18:36,583 --> 00:18:37,526
TRIP TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH US
HERE IN WASHINGTON.
GOOD NIGHT.

624
00:18:37,550 --> 00:18:38,294
HERE IN WASHINGTON.
GOOD NIGHT.
GOOD NIGHT.

625
00:18:38,318 --> 00:18:40,118
GOOD NIGHT.
GOOD NIGHT.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

626
00:18:45,491 --> 00:18:51,707
THANK YOU, MR. PRESIDENT.
THAT'S A WRAP.
WELL, THAT WAS OKAY, WORKED

627
00:18:51,731 --> 00:18:52,374
THAT'S A WRAP.
WELL, THAT WAS OKAY, WORKED
OUT OKAY.

628
00:18:52,398 --> 00:18:53,976
WELL, THAT WAS OKAY, WORKED
OUT OKAY.
YEAH, THAT WAS PRETTY GOOD.

629
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:55,544
OUT OKAY.
YEAH, THAT WAS PRETTY GOOD.
LET'S DO THAT AGAIN SOMETIME.

630
00:18:55,568 --> 00:18:56,412
YEAH, THAT WAS PRETTY GOOD.
LET'S DO THAT AGAIN SOMETIME.
HELLO, AMY.

631
00:18:56,436 --> 00:18:57,246
LET'S DO THAT AGAIN SOMETIME.
HELLO, AMY.
HI, DADDY.

632
00:18:57,270 --> 00:18:58,380
HELLO, AMY.
HI, DADDY.
AMY LYNN, THIS IS

633
00:18:58,404 --> 00:18:59,215
HI, DADDY.
AMY LYNN, THIS IS
MR. CRONKITE.

634
00:18:59,239 --> 00:19:01,517
AMY LYNN, THIS IS
MR. CRONKITE.
HELLO, AMY.

635
00:19:01,541 --> 00:19:02,451
MR. CRONKITE.
HELLO, AMY.
HONEY, I'M GONNA WALK

636
00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:03,652
HELLO, AMY.
HONEY, I'M GONNA WALK
UNCLE WALTER OUT TO HIS CAR, AND

637
00:19:03,676 --> 00:19:04,553
HONEY, I'M GONNA WALK
UNCLE WALTER OUT TO HIS CAR, AND
THEN I'LL COME BACK IN.

638
00:19:04,577 --> 00:19:05,754
UNCLE WALTER OUT TO HIS CAR, AND
THEN I'LL COME BACK IN.
WE'LL HAVE SOME MILK AND COOKIES

639
00:19:05,778 --> 00:19:06,589
THEN I'LL COME BACK IN.
WE'LL HAVE SOME MILK AND COOKIES
IN THE KITCHEN, OKAY?

640
00:19:06,613 --> 00:19:06,922
WE'LL HAVE SOME MILK AND COOKIES
IN THE KITCHEN, OKAY?
MARY?

641
00:19:06,946 --> 00:19:08,866
IN THE KITCHEN, OKAY?
MARY?
YES, MR. PRESIDENT?

642
00:19:14,119 --> 00:19:17,233
MARY, WILL YOU MIND AMY TILL I
GET BACK?
THIS IS MR. CRONKITE.

643
00:19:17,257 --> 00:19:18,567
GET BACK?
THIS IS MR. CRONKITE.
THIS IS AMY'S NANNY, MARY.

644
00:19:18,591 --> 00:19:20,136
THIS IS MR. CRONKITE.
THIS IS AMY'S NANNY, MARY.
AH, YES, THE EX-CONVICT FROM

645
00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:20,702
THIS IS AMY'S NANNY, MARY.
AH, YES, THE EX-CONVICT FROM
GEORGIA.

646
00:19:20,726 --> 00:19:22,104
AH, YES, THE EX-CONVICT FROM
GEORGIA.
HELLO. PLEASED TO MEET YOU.

647
00:19:22,128 --> 00:19:22,904
GEORGIA.
HELLO. PLEASED TO MEET YOU.
OKAY, FINE.

648
00:19:22,928 --> 00:19:24,306
HELLO. PLEASED TO MEET YOU.
OKAY, FINE.
I'LL BE BACK IN A COUPLE OF

649
00:19:24,330 --> 00:19:26,342
OKAY, FINE.
I'LL BE BACK IN A COUPLE OF
MINUTES.

650
00:19:26,366 --> 00:19:27,943
I'LL BE BACK IN A COUPLE OF
MINUTES.
CHILD, YOUR FATHER SURE KNOWS

651
00:19:27,967 --> 00:19:29,077
MINUTES.
CHILD, YOUR FATHER SURE KNOWS
HOW TO USE THE MEDIA.

652
00:19:29,101 --> 00:19:30,613
CHILD, YOUR FATHER SURE KNOWS
HOW TO USE THE MEDIA.
COME ON, LET'S GO BACK AND GET

653
00:19:30,637 --> 00:19:31,980
HOW TO USE THE MEDIA.
COME ON, LET'S GO BACK AND GET
SOME MILK AND COOKIES, ALL

654
00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:32,448
COME ON, LET'S GO BACK AND GET
SOME MILK AND COOKIES, ALL
RIGHT?

655
00:19:32,472 --> 00:19:33,982
SOME MILK AND COOKIES, ALL
RIGHT?
NANNY, IS IT TRUE YOU LIVED

656
00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:35,584
RIGHT?
NANNY, IS IT TRUE YOU LIVED
IN THE STATE PRISON?

657
00:19:35,608 --> 00:19:37,553
NANNY, IS IT TRUE YOU LIVED
IN THE STATE PRISON?
YES, CHILD, I MADE SOME

658
00:19:37,577 --> 00:19:41,223
IN THE STATE PRISON?
YES, CHILD, I MADE SOME
MISTAKES, I HAD SOME BAD BREAKS.

659
00:19:41,247 --> 00:19:43,058
YES, CHILD, I MADE SOME
MISTAKES, I HAD SOME BAD BREAKS.
NANNY, YOU'RE NICE.

660
00:19:43,082 --> 00:19:45,093
MISTAKES, I HAD SOME BAD BREAKS.
NANNY, YOU'RE NICE.
SO ARE YOU, SWEETHEART.

661
00:19:45,117 --> 00:19:46,928
NANNY, YOU'RE NICE.
SO ARE YOU, SWEETHEART.
NANNY, CAN YOU TELL ME A

662
00:19:46,952 --> 00:19:48,397
SO ARE YOU, SWEETHEART.
NANNY, CAN YOU TELL ME A
BEDTIME STORY?

663
00:19:48,421 --> 00:19:49,498
NANNY, CAN YOU TELL ME A
BEDTIME STORY?
WHY, SURE.

664
00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:51,767
BEDTIME STORY?
WHY, SURE.
COME ON, SIT ON MY KNEE.

665
00:19:51,791 --> 00:19:53,202
WHY, SURE.
COME ON, SIT ON MY KNEE.
AHH...

666
00:19:53,226 --> 00:19:56,272
COME ON, SIT ON MY KNEE.
AHH...
OKAY, NOW, THIS IS THE STORY OF

667
00:19:56,296 --> 00:19:58,940
AHH...
OKAY, NOW, THIS IS THE STORY OF
GOLDILOCKS AND THE THREE BEARS.

668
00:19:58,964 --> 00:20:01,143
OKAY, NOW, THIS IS THE STORY OF
GOLDILOCKS AND THE THREE BEARS.
IT WAS THE SUMMER OF '70.

669
00:20:01,167 --> 00:20:02,811
GOLDILOCKS AND THE THREE BEARS.
IT WAS THE SUMMER OF '70.
AND AFTER JUST WORKING A LONG

670
00:20:02,835 --> 00:20:04,613
IT WAS THE SUMMER OF '70.
AND AFTER JUST WORKING A LONG
TIME FOR THE STATE DEPARTMENT OF

671
00:20:04,637 --> 00:20:06,348
AND AFTER JUST WORKING A LONG
TIME FOR THE STATE DEPARTMENT OF
AGRICULTURE, GOLDILOCKS FINALLY

672
00:20:06,372 --> 00:20:08,116
TIME FOR THE STATE DEPARTMENT OF
AGRICULTURE, GOLDILOCKS FINALLY
GOT HER LETTERS FROM THE PAROLE

673
00:20:08,140 --> 00:20:08,651
AGRICULTURE, GOLDILOCKS FINALLY
GOT HER LETTERS FROM THE PAROLE
BOARD.

674
00:20:08,675 --> 00:20:09,851
GOT HER LETTERS FROM THE PAROLE
BOARD.
THE PAROLE BOARD?

675
00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:11,620
BOARD.
THE PAROLE BOARD?
YEAH, YOU SEE, SHE JUST DONE

676
00:20:11,644 --> 00:20:13,222
THE PAROLE BOARD?
YEAH, YOU SEE, SHE JUST DONE
THE BIG QUINCE DOWNSTATE FOR

677
00:20:13,246 --> 00:20:14,790
YEAH, YOU SEE, SHE JUST DONE
THE BIG QUINCE DOWNSTATE FOR
WASTING SOME LOWLIFE CAT IN

678
00:20:14,814 --> 00:20:16,458
THE BIG QUINCE DOWNSTATE FOR
WASTING SOME LOWLIFE CAT IN
GAINESVILLE, HONEY.

679
00:20:16,482 --> 00:20:17,759
WASTING SOME LOWLIFE CAT IN
GAINESVILLE, HONEY.
THE BIG QUINCE?

680
00:20:17,783 --> 00:20:19,795
GAINESVILLE, HONEY.
THE BIG QUINCE?
A QUINCY, FIVE BIG ONES, YOU

681
00:20:19,819 --> 00:20:20,762
THE BIG QUINCE?
A QUINCY, FIVE BIG ONES, YOU
KNOW, YEARS.

682
00:20:20,786 --> 00:20:22,498
A QUINCY, FIVE BIG ONES, YOU
KNOW, YEARS.
OH, YEAH, LIKE YOU BEEN

683
00:20:22,522 --> 00:20:23,332
KNOW, YEARS.
OH, YEAH, LIKE YOU BEEN
LOCKED UP?

684
00:20:23,356 --> 00:20:24,933
OH, YEAH, LIKE YOU BEEN
LOCKED UP?
THAT'S RIGHT. YEAH.

685
00:20:24,957 --> 00:20:26,802
LOCKED UP?
THAT'S RIGHT. YEAH.
SO, THERE SHE IS, OUT OF THE

686
00:20:26,826 --> 00:20:28,870
THAT'S RIGHT. YEAH.
SO, THERE SHE IS, OUT OF THE
JOINT, RIGHT, BACK ON THE STREET

687
00:20:28,894 --> 00:20:30,739
SO, THERE SHE IS, OUT OF THE
JOINT, RIGHT, BACK ON THE STREET
WITH NOTHING BUT A STATE-OWNED

688
00:20:30,763 --> 00:20:31,707
JOINT, RIGHT, BACK ON THE STREET
WITH NOTHING BUT A STATE-OWNED
PAIR OF JEANS.

689
00:20:31,731 --> 00:20:33,409
WITH NOTHING BUT A STATE-OWNED
PAIR OF JEANS.
SO, SHE TAKES A BUS TO TAMPA.

690
00:20:33,433 --> 00:20:34,910
PAIR OF JEANS.
SO, SHE TAKES A BUS TO TAMPA.
SHE GETS SOME HEAT FROM A

691
00:20:34,934 --> 00:20:35,877
SO, SHE TAKES A BUS TO TAMPA.
SHE GETS SOME HEAT FROM A
FRIEND, RIGHT.

692
00:20:35,901 --> 00:20:37,646
SHE GETS SOME HEAT FROM A
FRIEND, RIGHT.
SHE STEALS A CAR, AND THEN SHE

693
00:20:37,670 --> 00:20:39,515
FRIEND, RIGHT.
SHE STEALS A CAR, AND THEN SHE
POPS A SUPERMARKET FOR SOME FREE

694
00:20:39,539 --> 00:20:40,115
SHE STEALS A CAR, AND THEN SHE
POPS A SUPERMARKET FOR SOME FREE
EAGLES.

695
00:20:40,139 --> 00:20:41,883
POPS A SUPERMARKET FOR SOME FREE
EAGLES.
SHE KNOCKED OFF A STORE FOR

696
00:20:41,907 --> 00:20:43,018
EAGLES.
SHE KNOCKED OFF A STORE FOR
SOME MONEY?

697
00:20:43,042 --> 00:20:44,520
SHE KNOCKED OFF A STORE FOR
SOME MONEY?
THAT'S RIGHT, HONEY, YEAH.

698
00:20:44,544 --> 00:20:47,956
SOME MONEY?
THAT'S RIGHT, HONEY, YEAH.
THEN, SHE DRIVES NORTH OF TOWN,

699
00:20:47,980 --> 00:20:50,092
THAT'S RIGHT, HONEY, YEAH.
THEN, SHE DRIVES NORTH OF TOWN,
RIGHT, INTO THE DARK, WET

700
00:20:50,116 --> 00:20:51,227
THEN, SHE DRIVES NORTH OF TOWN,
RIGHT, INTO THE DARK, WET
EVERGLADES.

701
00:20:51,251 --> 00:20:53,762
RIGHT, INTO THE DARK, WET
EVERGLADES.
DID SHE HAVE HER HIP WADERS

702
00:20:53,786 --> 00:20:54,330
EVERGLADES.
DID SHE HAVE HER HIP WADERS
ON?

703
00:20:54,354 --> 00:20:56,198
DID SHE HAVE HER HIP WADERS
ON?
WHY, YES, SHE DID.

704
00:20:56,222 --> 00:20:58,734
ON?
WHY, YES, SHE DID.
ARE YOU SURE I HAVEN'T TOLD YOU

705
00:20:58,758 --> 00:21:00,469
WHY, YES, SHE DID.
ARE YOU SURE I HAVEN'T TOLD YOU
THIS ONE BEFORE, BABY?

706
00:21:00,493 --> 00:21:01,203
ARE YOU SURE I HAVEN'T TOLD YOU
THIS ONE BEFORE, BABY?
HMM?

707
00:21:01,227 --> 00:21:04,673
THIS ONE BEFORE, BABY?
HMM?
WELL, ANYWAY, PRETTY SOON, SHE

708
00:21:04,697 --> 00:21:06,007
HMM?
WELL, ANYWAY, PRETTY SOON, SHE
COMES UPON THIS SHACK SITTING

709
00:21:06,031 --> 00:21:06,875
WELL, ANYWAY, PRETTY SOON, SHE
COMES UPON THIS SHACK SITTING
ON STILTS, RIGHT.

710
00:21:06,899 --> 00:21:08,277
COMES UPON THIS SHACK SITTING
ON STILTS, RIGHT.
NOW, BY NOW, LITTLE GOLDILOCKS

711
00:21:08,301 --> 00:21:09,645
ON STILTS, RIGHT.
NOW, BY NOW, LITTLE GOLDILOCKS
IS HUNGRIER THAN A PORPOISE AT

712
00:21:09,669 --> 00:21:10,579
NOW, BY NOW, LITTLE GOLDILOCKS
IS HUNGRIER THAN A PORPOISE AT
MARINELAND, CHILD.

713
00:21:10,603 --> 00:21:11,313
IS HUNGRIER THAN A PORPOISE AT
MARINELAND, CHILD.
MARINELAND?

714
00:21:11,337 --> 00:21:12,715
MARINELAND, CHILD.
MARINELAND?
YEAH, IT'S LIKE A FISH ZOO,

715
00:21:12,739 --> 00:21:13,282
MARINELAND?
YEAH, IT'S LIKE A FISH ZOO,
YOU KNOW.

716
00:21:13,306 --> 00:21:15,817
YEAH, IT'S LIKE A FISH ZOO,
YOU KNOW.
SO, SHE PULLS HER PIECE, REMOVES

717
00:21:15,841 --> 00:21:18,120
YOU KNOW.
SO, SHE PULLS HER PIECE, REMOVES
THE LOCK ON THE DOOR... BOOM,

718
00:21:18,144 --> 00:21:18,787
SO, SHE PULLS HER PIECE, REMOVES
THE LOCK ON THE DOOR... BOOM,
BOOM.

719
00:21:18,811 --> 00:21:21,189
THE LOCK ON THE DOOR... BOOM,
BOOM.
AND THEN, SHE GOES IN, AND SHE

720
00:21:21,213 --> 00:21:22,958
BOOM.
AND THEN, SHE GOES IN, AND SHE
EATS THREE BOWLS OF HOT GATOR

721
00:21:22,982 --> 00:21:23,459
AND THEN, SHE GOES IN, AND SHE
EATS THREE BOWLS OF HOT GATOR
SOUP.

722
00:21:23,483 --> 00:21:24,727
EATS THREE BOWLS OF HOT GATOR
SOUP.
[CHOMPING]

723
00:21:24,751 --> 00:21:27,363
SOUP.
[CHOMPING]
RIGHT, AND THEN SHE CRASHES FOR

724
00:21:27,387 --> 00:21:29,097
[CHOMPING]
RIGHT, AND THEN SHE CRASHES FOR
THE NIGHT.

725
00:21:29,121 --> 00:21:32,434
RIGHT, AND THEN SHE CRASHES FOR
THE NIGHT.
WHEN SHE FINISHES, SHE'S

726
00:21:32,458 --> 00:21:33,235
THE NIGHT.
WHEN SHE FINISHES, SHE'S
LOOKING...

727
00:21:33,259 --> 00:21:35,170
WHEN SHE FINISHES, SHE'S
LOOKING...
RATHER, WHEN SHE WAKES UP, SHE'S

728
00:21:35,194 --> 00:21:36,739
LOOKING...
RATHER, WHEN SHE WAKES UP, SHE'S
LOOKING RIGHT DOWN THERE,

729
00:21:36,763 --> 00:21:38,574
RATHER, WHEN SHE WAKES UP, SHE'S
LOOKING RIGHT DOWN THERE,
STRAIGHT INTO THE TWIN BARRELS

730
00:21:38,598 --> 00:21:40,342
LOOKING RIGHT DOWN THERE,
STRAIGHT INTO THE TWIN BARRELS
OF A 16-GAUGE SHOTGUN, HONEY.

731
00:21:40,366 --> 00:21:42,177
STRAIGHT INTO THE TWIN BARRELS
OF A 16-GAUGE SHOTGUN, HONEY.
YOU SEE, WHAT SHE DONE WAS SHE

732
00:21:42,201 --> 00:21:43,812
OF A 16-GAUGE SHOTGUN, HONEY.
YOU SEE, WHAT SHE DONE WAS SHE
BROKE INTO THE HOME OF THE

733
00:21:43,836 --> 00:21:45,381
YOU SEE, WHAT SHE DONE WAS SHE
BROKE INTO THE HOME OF THE
THREE BEARS... MAMA BEAR,

734
00:21:45,405 --> 00:21:47,283
BROKE INTO THE HOME OF THE
THREE BEARS... MAMA BEAR,
CLEOFUS BEAR, AND WINSTON BEAR,

735
00:21:47,307 --> 00:21:48,083
THREE BEARS... MAMA BEAR,
CLEOFUS BEAR, AND WINSTON BEAR,
YOU KNOW?

736
00:21:48,107 --> 00:21:50,218
CLEOFUS BEAR, AND WINSTON BEAR,
YOU KNOW?
BUT LUCKILY, SHE HAD BEEN IN THE

737
00:21:50,242 --> 00:21:52,254
YOU KNOW?
BUT LUCKILY, SHE HAD BEEN IN THE
JOINT WITH WINSTON'S OLD LADY,

738
00:21:52,278 --> 00:21:54,323
BUT LUCKILY, SHE HAD BEEN IN THE
JOINT WITH WINSTON'S OLD LADY,
AND CLEOFUS GOT HER A JOB AS AN

739
00:21:54,347 --> 00:21:56,358
JOINT WITH WINSTON'S OLD LADY,
AND CLEOFUS GOT HER A JOB AS AN
AMBULANCE DISPATCHER IN MIAMI,

740
00:21:56,382 --> 00:21:56,925
AND CLEOFUS GOT HER A JOB AS AN
AMBULANCE DISPATCHER IN MIAMI,
BABY.

741
00:21:56,949 --> 00:21:58,994
AMBULANCE DISPATCHER IN MIAMI,
BABY.
[Imitating Mary] DON'T YOU

742
00:21:59,018 --> 00:22:00,962
BABY.
[Imitating Mary] DON'T YOU
TELL ME NONE OF THAT BULLWASH

743
00:22:00,986 --> 00:22:02,698
[Imitating Mary] DON'T YOU
TELL ME NONE OF THAT BULLWASH
FAIRY-TALE JIVE, HONEY.

744
00:22:02,722 --> 00:22:04,667
TELL ME NONE OF THAT BULLWASH
FAIRY-TALE JIVE, HONEY.
I KNOW THE GOLDILOCKS STORY

745
00:22:04,691 --> 00:22:06,902
FAIRY-TALE JIVE, HONEY.
I KNOW THE GOLDILOCKS STORY
DON'T GO NO PLACE LIKE FLORIDA.

746
00:22:06,926 --> 00:22:08,937
I KNOW THE GOLDILOCKS STORY
DON'T GO NO PLACE LIKE FLORIDA.
I KNOW IT GO DOWN SOME PLACE

747
00:22:08,961 --> 00:22:11,774
DON'T GO NO PLACE LIKE FLORIDA.
I KNOW IT GO DOWN SOME PLACE
LIKE BAVARIA OR GERMANY OR SOME

748
00:22:11,798 --> 00:22:13,409
I KNOW IT GO DOWN SOME PLACE
LIKE BAVARIA OR GERMANY OR SOME
PLACE LIKE THAT.

749
00:22:13,433 --> 00:22:16,312
LIKE BAVARIA OR GERMANY OR SOME
PLACE LIKE THAT.
NO, HONEY, YOU THINKIN' ABOUT

750
00:22:16,336 --> 00:22:17,413
PLACE LIKE THAT.
NO, HONEY, YOU THINKIN' ABOUT
"HANSEL and GRETEL."

751
00:22:17,437 --> 00:22:19,315
NO, HONEY, YOU THINKIN' ABOUT
"HANSEL and GRETEL."
[Normal voice] OH, YEAH, I

752
00:22:19,339 --> 00:22:19,948
"HANSEL and GRETEL."
[Normal voice] OH, YEAH, I
FORGOT.

753
00:22:19,972 --> 00:22:20,649
[Normal voice] OH, YEAH, I
FORGOT.
YEAH.

754
00:22:20,673 --> 00:22:21,617
FORGOT.
YEAH.
I DON'T KNOW.

755
00:22:21,641 --> 00:22:23,352
YEAH.
I DON'T KNOW.
FOR A CHILD YOUR AGE, YOU'RE

756
00:22:23,376 --> 00:22:24,687
I DON'T KNOW.
FOR A CHILD YOUR AGE, YOU'RE
GETTING MIGHTY STREETWISE.

757
00:22:24,711 --> 00:22:26,455
FOR A CHILD YOUR AGE, YOU'RE
GETTING MIGHTY STREETWISE.
COME ON, LET'S GO GET SOME

758
00:22:26,479 --> 00:22:27,723
GETTING MIGHTY STREETWISE.
COME ON, LET'S GO GET SOME
COOKIES AND MILK.

759
00:22:27,747 --> 00:22:29,787
COME ON, LET'S GO GET SOME
COOKIES AND MILK.
OKAY.

760
00:22:47,899 --> 00:22:52,681
GOOD EVENING AND WELCOME TO
"HOW YOUR CHILDREN GROW."
I'M JANE CURTIN, AND MY GUEST

761
00:22:52,705 --> 00:22:54,282
"HOW YOUR CHILDREN GROW."
I'M JANE CURTIN, AND MY GUEST
TONIGHT IS ONE OF AMERICA'S

762
00:22:54,306 --> 00:22:56,151
I'M JANE CURTIN, AND MY GUEST
TONIGHT IS ONE OF AMERICA'S
FOREMOST AUTHORITIES ON LEARNING

763
00:22:56,175 --> 00:22:59,287
TONIGHT IS ONE OF AMERICA'S
FOREMOST AUTHORITIES ON LEARNING
DISABILITIES, DR. ALAN ROSS.

764
00:22:59,311 --> 00:23:00,789
FOREMOST AUTHORITIES ON LEARNING
DISABILITIES, DR. ALAN ROSS.
FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE NOT

765
00:23:00,813 --> 00:23:02,491
DISABILITIES, DR. ALAN ROSS.
FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE NOT
FAMILIAR WITH DR. ROSS' WORK, HE

766
00:23:02,515 --> 00:23:03,792
FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE NOT
FAMILIAR WITH DR. ROSS' WORK, HE
HAS JUST BEEN AWARDED A

767
00:23:03,816 --> 00:23:05,561
FAMILIAR WITH DR. ROSS' WORK, HE
HAS JUST BEEN AWARDED A
$7 MILLION GRANT, WITH WHICH HE

768
00:23:05,585 --> 00:23:07,363
HAS JUST BEEN AWARDED A
$7 MILLION GRANT, WITH WHICH HE
WILL OPEN THE ROSS FOUNDATION IN

769
00:23:07,387 --> 00:23:08,597
$7 MILLION GRANT, WITH WHICH HE
WILL OPEN THE ROSS FOUNDATION IN
ROCHESTER, MINNESOTA.

770
00:23:08,621 --> 00:23:10,031
WILL OPEN THE ROSS FOUNDATION IN
ROCHESTER, MINNESOTA.
ISN'T THAT TRUE, DOCTOR?

771
00:23:10,055 --> 00:23:10,999
ROCHESTER, MINNESOTA.
ISN'T THAT TRUE, DOCTOR?
THAT'S TRUE.

772
00:23:11,023 --> 00:23:12,100
ISN'T THAT TRUE, DOCTOR?
THAT'S TRUE.
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.

773
00:23:12,124 --> 00:23:13,435
THAT'S TRUE.
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.
IN DOING MY OWN RESEARCH ON

774
00:23:13,459 --> 00:23:14,837
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.
IN DOING MY OWN RESEARCH ON
WHAT YOU DO, SIR, I LEARNED THAT

775
00:23:14,861 --> 00:23:16,004
IN DOING MY OWN RESEARCH ON
WHAT YOU DO, SIR, I LEARNED THAT
MANY PEOPLE WHO WORK WITH

776
00:23:16,028 --> 00:23:17,239
WHAT YOU DO, SIR, I LEARNED THAT
MANY PEOPLE WHO WORK WITH
CHILDREN POSSESSING LEARNING

777
00:23:17,263 --> 00:23:18,507
MANY PEOPLE WHO WORK WITH
CHILDREN POSSESSING LEARNING
DIFFICULTIES AT ONE TIME HAD

778
00:23:18,531 --> 00:23:19,341
CHILDREN POSSESSING LEARNING
DIFFICULTIES AT ONE TIME HAD
SUCH A CONDITION.

779
00:23:19,365 --> 00:23:20,108
DIFFICULTIES AT ONE TIME HAD
SUCH A CONDITION.
THAT'S TRUE.

780
00:23:20,132 --> 00:23:21,309
SUCH A CONDITION.
THAT'S TRUE.
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.

781
00:23:21,333 --> 00:23:22,778
THAT'S TRUE.
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.
I GUESS THAT WOULD MAKE ONE

782
00:23:22,802 --> 00:23:24,246
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.
I GUESS THAT WOULD MAKE ONE
MORE EMPATHETIC TO THE PLIGHTS

783
00:23:24,270 --> 00:23:25,113
I GUESS THAT WOULD MAKE ONE
MORE EMPATHETIC TO THE PLIGHTS
OF SUCH A CHILD.

784
00:23:25,137 --> 00:23:25,947
MORE EMPATHETIC TO THE PLIGHTS
OF SUCH A CHILD.
THAT'S TRUE.

785
00:23:25,971 --> 00:23:27,449
OF SUCH A CHILD.
THAT'S TRUE.
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.

786
00:23:27,473 --> 00:23:29,351
THAT'S TRUE.
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.
AND I IMAGINE THAT IT DOESN'T

787
00:23:29,375 --> 00:23:31,152
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.
AND I IMAGINE THAT IT DOESN'T
MATTER HOW BIG YOU ARE IN YOUR

788
00:23:31,176 --> 00:23:32,855
AND I IMAGINE THAT IT DOESN'T
MATTER HOW BIG YOU ARE IN YOUR
FIELD, NO ONE'S IMMUNE, AS I

789
00:23:32,879 --> 00:23:34,623
MATTER HOW BIG YOU ARE IN YOUR
FIELD, NO ONE'S IMMUNE, AS I
DISCOVERED THAT YOU YOURSELF,

790
00:23:34,647 --> 00:23:36,324
FIELD, NO ONE'S IMMUNE, AS I
DISCOVERED THAT YOU YOURSELF,
DR. ROSS, HAD, AS A CHILD, A

791
00:23:36,348 --> 00:23:37,993
DISCOVERED THAT YOU YOURSELF,
DR. ROSS, HAD, AS A CHILD, A
SEVERE LEARNING DISABILITY.

792
00:23:38,017 --> 00:23:38,861
DR. ROSS, HAD, AS A CHILD, A
SEVERE LEARNING DISABILITY.
THAT'S TRUE.

793
00:23:38,885 --> 00:23:40,161
SEVERE LEARNING DISABILITY.
THAT'S TRUE.
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.

794
00:23:40,185 --> 00:23:41,597
THAT'S TRUE.
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.
AND I GUESS WE CAN SPEAK

795
00:23:41,621 --> 00:23:42,230
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.
AND I GUESS WE CAN SPEAK
ABOUT IT.

796
00:23:42,254 --> 00:23:43,766
AND I GUESS WE CAN SPEAK
ABOUT IT.
IT CERTAINLY IS NOTHING TO BE

797
00:23:43,790 --> 00:23:44,500
ABOUT IT.
IT CERTAINLY IS NOTHING TO BE
ASHAMED OF.

798
00:23:44,524 --> 00:23:45,734
IT CERTAINLY IS NOTHING TO BE
ASHAMED OF.
YOUR PROBLEM WAS CALLED

799
00:23:45,758 --> 00:23:46,468
ASHAMED OF.
YOUR PROBLEM WAS CALLED
QUINTLEXIA.

800
00:23:46,492 --> 00:23:47,369
YOUR PROBLEM WAS CALLED
QUINTLEXIA.
THAT'S TRUE.

801
00:23:47,393 --> 00:23:48,604
QUINTLEXIA.
THAT'S TRUE.
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.

802
00:23:48,628 --> 00:23:50,138
THAT'S TRUE.
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.
FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE NOT

803
00:23:50,162 --> 00:23:51,306
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.
FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE NOT
FAMILIAR WITH THE TERM

804
00:23:51,330 --> 00:23:52,674
FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE NOT
FAMILIAR WITH THE TERM
"QUINTLEXIA," IT COMES FROM

805
00:23:52,698 --> 00:23:54,376
FAMILIAR WITH THE TERM
"QUINTLEXIA," IT COMES FROM
THE PREFIX "QUINT," MEANING

806
00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:56,311
"QUINTLEXIA," IT COMES FROM
THE PREFIX "QUINT," MEANING
"FIVE," AND "LEXIA" FROM THE

807
00:23:56,335 --> 00:23:58,246
THE PREFIX "QUINT," MEANING
"FIVE," AND "LEXIA" FROM THE
GREEK ROOT "LEXUS," WHICH MEANS

808
00:23:58,270 --> 00:23:58,814
"FIVE," AND "LEXIA" FROM THE
GREEK ROOT "LEXUS," WHICH MEANS
"WORDS."

809
00:23:58,838 --> 00:24:00,115
GREEK ROOT "LEXUS," WHICH MEANS
"WORDS."
THEREFORE, ANYONE WHO IS

810
00:24:00,139 --> 00:24:01,617
"WORDS."
THEREFORE, ANYONE WHO IS
AFFLICTED WITH QUINTLEXIA HAS

811
00:24:01,641 --> 00:24:03,151
THEREFORE, ANYONE WHO IS
AFFLICTED WITH QUINTLEXIA HAS
THE ABILITY TO SPEAK ONLY FIVE

812
00:24:03,175 --> 00:24:03,652
AFFLICTED WITH QUINTLEXIA HAS
THE ABILITY TO SPEAK ONLY FIVE
WORDS.

813
00:24:03,676 --> 00:24:05,086
THE ABILITY TO SPEAK ONLY FIVE
WORDS.
DID I DESCRIBE IT CORRECTLY?

814
00:24:05,110 --> 00:24:05,987
WORDS.
DID I DESCRIBE IT CORRECTLY?
THAT'S TRUE.

815
00:24:06,011 --> 00:24:07,623
DID I DESCRIBE IT CORRECTLY?
THAT'S TRUE.
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.

816
00:24:07,647 --> 00:24:09,425
THAT'S TRUE.
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.
NOW, AS I UNDERSTAND IT,

817
00:24:09,449 --> 00:24:11,427
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.
NOW, AS I UNDERSTAND IT,
THEN, AS A CHILD, YOU ONLY KNEW

818
00:24:11,451 --> 00:24:12,327
NOW, AS I UNDERSTAND IT,
THEN, AS A CHILD, YOU ONLY KNEW
FIVE WORDS.

819
00:24:12,351 --> 00:24:13,462
THEN, AS A CHILD, YOU ONLY KNEW
FIVE WORDS.
THAT'S TRUE.

820
00:24:13,486 --> 00:24:14,897
FIVE WORDS.
THAT'S TRUE.
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.

821
00:24:14,921 --> 00:24:16,364
THAT'S TRUE.
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.
WHICH WORDS WERE THEY?

822
00:24:16,388 --> 00:24:18,099
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.
WHICH WORDS WERE THEY?
THAT'S, TRUE, YOU'RE,

823
00:24:18,123 --> 00:24:19,100
WHICH WORDS WERE THEY?
THAT'S, TRUE, YOU'RE,
ABSOLUTELY, RIGHT.

824
00:24:19,124 --> 00:24:20,736
THAT'S, TRUE, YOU'RE,
ABSOLUTELY, RIGHT.
I GET THE IMPRESSION THAT YOU

825
00:24:20,760 --> 00:24:22,103
ABSOLUTELY, RIGHT.
I GET THE IMPRESSION THAT YOU
STILL HAVE THIS CONDITION.

826
00:24:22,127 --> 00:24:22,971
I GET THE IMPRESSION THAT YOU
STILL HAVE THIS CONDITION.
THAT'S TRUE.

827
00:24:22,995 --> 00:24:24,372
STILL HAVE THIS CONDITION.
THAT'S TRUE.
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.

828
00:24:24,396 --> 00:24:25,741
THAT'S TRUE.
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.
NOW, LET ME GET THIS

829
00:24:25,765 --> 00:24:26,408
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.
NOW, LET ME GET THIS
STRAIGHT.

830
00:24:26,432 --> 00:24:27,576
NOW, LET ME GET THIS
STRAIGHT.
YOU WENT TO HARVARD

831
00:24:27,600 --> 00:24:29,210
STRAIGHT.
YOU WENT TO HARVARD
UNDERGRADUATE, GOT YOUR PhD

832
00:24:29,234 --> 00:24:30,813
YOU WENT TO HARVARD
UNDERGRADUATE, GOT YOUR PhD
FROM DARTMOUTH, YOU'VE BEEN

833
00:24:30,837 --> 00:24:32,380
UNDERGRADUATE, GOT YOUR PhD
FROM DARTMOUTH, YOU'VE BEEN
GIVEN A $7 MILLION GRANT TO

834
00:24:32,404 --> 00:24:33,982
FROM DARTMOUTH, YOU'VE BEEN
GIVEN A $7 MILLION GRANT TO
BUILD A FOUNDATION, AND HAVE

835
00:24:34,006 --> 00:24:35,784
GIVEN A $7 MILLION GRANT TO
BUILD A FOUNDATION, AND HAVE
BEEN TEACHING CHILDREN FOR CLOSE

836
00:24:35,808 --> 00:24:36,585
BUILD A FOUNDATION, AND HAVE
BEEN TEACHING CHILDREN FOR CLOSE
TO 11 YEARS.

837
00:24:36,609 --> 00:24:38,086
BEEN TEACHING CHILDREN FOR CLOSE
TO 11 YEARS.
AND YOUR ENTIRE VOCABULARY

838
00:24:38,110 --> 00:24:39,455
TO 11 YEARS.
AND YOUR ENTIRE VOCABULARY
CONSISTS OF FIVE WORDS.

839
00:24:39,479 --> 00:24:41,022
AND YOUR ENTIRE VOCABULARY
CONSISTS OF FIVE WORDS.
[Chuckling] THAT'S TRUE.

840
00:24:41,046 --> 00:24:44,326
CONSISTS OF FIVE WORDS.
[Chuckling] THAT'S TRUE.
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.

841
00:24:44,350 --> 00:24:45,928
[Chuckling] THAT'S TRUE.
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.
IT IS TRULY AMAZING THAT YOU

842
00:24:45,952 --> 00:24:47,463
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.
IT IS TRULY AMAZING THAT YOU
HAVE OVERCOME SUCH A HANDICAP

843
00:24:47,487 --> 00:24:48,997
IT IS TRULY AMAZING THAT YOU
HAVE OVERCOME SUCH A HANDICAP
AND HAVE ACCOMPLISHED SO MUCH.

844
00:24:49,021 --> 00:24:49,898
HAVE OVERCOME SUCH A HANDICAP
AND HAVE ACCOMPLISHED SO MUCH.
THAT'S TRUE.

845
00:24:49,922 --> 00:24:51,299
AND HAVE ACCOMPLISHED SO MUCH.
THAT'S TRUE.
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.

846
00:24:51,323 --> 00:24:53,001
THAT'S TRUE.
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.
I GUESS IT JUST GOES TO SHOW

847
00:24:53,025 --> 00:24:54,503
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.
I GUESS IT JUST GOES TO SHOW
WHAT A LAND OF OPPORTUNITY

848
00:24:54,527 --> 00:24:56,104
I GUESS IT JUST GOES TO SHOW
WHAT A LAND OF OPPORTUNITY
AMERICA REALLY IS.

849
00:24:56,128 --> 00:24:57,473
WHAT A LAND OF OPPORTUNITY
AMERICA REALLY IS.
THAT'S TRUE.

850
00:24:57,497 --> 00:25:00,909
AMERICA REALLY IS.
THAT'S TRUE.
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.

851
00:25:00,933 --> 00:25:02,210
THAT'S TRUE.
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.
YOU SLEEP IN A WEDDING GOWN,

852
00:25:02,234 --> 00:25:02,744
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.
YOU SLEEP IN A WEDDING GOWN,
DON'T YOU?

853
00:25:02,768 --> 00:25:03,445
YOU SLEEP IN A WEDDING GOWN,
DON'T YOU?
THAT'S TRUE.

854
00:25:03,469 --> 00:25:04,513
DON'T YOU?
THAT'S TRUE.
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.

855
00:25:04,537 --> 00:25:05,581
THAT'S TRUE.
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.
IS IT TRUE THAT YOU'RE

856
00:25:05,605 --> 00:25:06,615
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.
IS IT TRUE THAT YOU'RE
WEARING UNDERWEAR MARKED

857
00:25:06,639 --> 00:25:07,148
IS IT TRUE THAT YOU'RE
WEARING UNDERWEAR MARKED
"JANUARY"?

858
00:25:07,172 --> 00:25:07,883
WEARING UNDERWEAR MARKED
"JANUARY"?
THAT'S TRUE.

859
00:25:07,907 --> 00:25:08,917
"JANUARY"?
THAT'S TRUE.
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.

860
00:25:08,941 --> 00:25:10,118
THAT'S TRUE.
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.
WELL, WE COULD GO ON LIKE

861
00:25:10,142 --> 00:25:10,819
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.
WELL, WE COULD GO ON LIKE
THIS ALL NIGHT.

862
00:25:10,843 --> 00:25:11,553
WELL, WE COULD GO ON LIKE
THIS ALL NIGHT.
THAT'S TRUE.

863
00:25:11,577 --> 00:25:12,588
THIS ALL NIGHT.
THAT'S TRUE.
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.

864
00:25:12,612 --> 00:25:14,723
THAT'S TRUE.
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.
OH, SHUT THE HELL UP!

865
00:25:14,747 --> 00:25:16,458
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.
OH, SHUT THE HELL UP!
THANK YOU FOR JOINING US, AND

866
00:25:16,482 --> 00:25:18,159
OH, SHUT THE HELL UP!
THANK YOU FOR JOINING US, AND
I URGE ALL OF YOU CONCERNED

867
00:25:18,183 --> 00:25:19,995
THANK YOU FOR JOINING US, AND
I URGE ALL OF YOU CONCERNED
PARENTS TO READ DR. ROSS' NEW

868
00:25:20,019 --> 00:25:22,297
I URGE ALL OF YOU CONCERNED
PARENTS TO READ DR. ROSS' NEW
BOOK...

869
00:25:22,321 --> 00:25:23,699
PARENTS TO READ DR. ROSS' NEW
BOOK...
"THAT'S TRUE... YOU'RE

870
00:25:23,723 --> 00:25:25,033
BOOK...
"THAT'S TRUE... YOU'RE
ABSOLUTELY RIGHT."

871
00:25:25,057 --> 00:25:26,935
"THAT'S TRUE... YOU'RE
ABSOLUTELY RIGHT."
IT'S FASCINATING READING.

872
00:25:26,959 --> 00:25:27,402
ABSOLUTELY RIGHT."
IT'S FASCINATING READING.
THAT'S TRUE.

873
00:25:27,426 --> 00:25:28,470
IT'S FASCINATING READING.
THAT'S TRUE.
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.

874
00:25:28,494 --> 00:25:30,628
THAT'S TRUE.
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.
GOOD NIGHT.

875
00:25:40,171 --> 00:25:43,919
HI, I'M JOHN BELUSHI.
I GUESS YOU'VE SEEN ME ON THE
SHOW HERE.

876
00:25:43,943 --> 00:25:45,654
I GUESS YOU'VE SEEN ME ON THE
SHOW HERE.
I'M ONE OF THE ACTORS.

877
00:25:45,678 --> 00:25:47,756
SHOW HERE.
I'M ONE OF THE ACTORS.
THIS IS MY OFFICE.

878
00:25:47,780 --> 00:25:50,325
I'M ONE OF THE ACTORS.
THIS IS MY OFFICE.
WELL, NBC HAS ALLOWED ME THIS

879
00:25:50,349 --> 00:25:52,861
THIS IS MY OFFICE.
WELL, NBC HAS ALLOWED ME THIS
TIME TO MAKE A VERY PERSONAL

880
00:25:52,885 --> 00:25:54,396
WELL, NBC HAS ALLOWED ME THIS
TIME TO MAKE A VERY PERSONAL
ANNOUNCEMENT.

881
00:25:54,420 --> 00:25:56,999
TIME TO MAKE A VERY PERSONAL
ANNOUNCEMENT.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, FANS,

882
00:25:57,023 --> 00:25:59,968
ANNOUNCEMENT.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, FANS,
FRIENDS, I'M ANNOUNCING AT THIS

883
00:25:59,992 --> 00:26:02,704
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, FANS,
FRIENDS, I'M ANNOUNCING AT THIS
TIME THAT I AM RETIRING FROM

884
00:26:02,728 --> 00:26:04,105
FRIENDS, I'M ANNOUNCING AT THIS
TIME THAT I AM RETIRING FROM
SHOW BUSINESS.

885
00:26:04,129 --> 00:26:06,408
TIME THAT I AM RETIRING FROM
SHOW BUSINESS.
NOW, THIS WAS NOT A SUDDEN

886
00:26:06,432 --> 00:26:08,243
SHOW BUSINESS.
NOW, THIS WAS NOT A SUDDEN
DECISION ON MY PART.

887
00:26:08,267 --> 00:26:09,878
NOW, THIS WAS NOT A SUDDEN
DECISION ON MY PART.
I FEEL THAT THERE ARE OTHERS WHO

888
00:26:09,902 --> 00:26:10,946
DECISION ON MY PART.
I FEEL THAT THERE ARE OTHERS WHO
CAN MAKE YOU LAUGH.

889
00:26:10,970 --> 00:26:12,581
I FEEL THAT THERE ARE OTHERS WHO
CAN MAKE YOU LAUGH.
I KNOW THAT BECAUSE I USED TO BE

890
00:26:12,605 --> 00:26:14,550
CAN MAKE YOU LAUGH.
I KNOW THAT BECAUSE I USED TO BE
ONE OF THEM.

891
00:26:14,574 --> 00:26:16,484
I KNOW THAT BECAUSE I USED TO BE
ONE OF THEM.
I'M QUITTING THE BUSINESS

892
00:26:16,508 --> 00:26:18,687
ONE OF THEM.
I'M QUITTING THE BUSINESS
BECAUSE I FEEL MY CONTRIBUTION

893
00:26:18,711 --> 00:26:19,855
I'M QUITTING THE BUSINESS
BECAUSE I FEEL MY CONTRIBUTION
IS NOT ACTING.

894
00:26:19,879 --> 00:26:21,957
BECAUSE I FEEL MY CONTRIBUTION
IS NOT ACTING.
MY CONTRIBUTION TO MANKIND IS

895
00:26:21,981 --> 00:26:23,425
IS NOT ACTING.
MY CONTRIBUTION TO MANKIND IS
NOT TO BE AN ACTOR.

896
00:26:23,449 --> 00:26:25,527
MY CONTRIBUTION TO MANKIND IS
NOT TO BE AN ACTOR.
MY TRUE DESTINY IS TO WIN THE

897
00:26:25,551 --> 00:26:27,362
NOT TO BE AN ACTOR.
MY TRUE DESTINY IS TO WIN THE
OLYMPIC GOLD MEDAL IN THE

898
00:26:27,386 --> 00:26:29,631
MY TRUE DESTINY IS TO WIN THE
OLYMPIC GOLD MEDAL IN THE
DECATHLON AT THE MOSCOW GAMES IN

899
00:26:29,655 --> 00:26:31,867
OLYMPIC GOLD MEDAL IN THE
DECATHLON AT THE MOSCOW GAMES IN
1980.

900
00:26:31,891 --> 00:26:34,036
DECATHLON AT THE MOSCOW GAMES IN
1980.
THE DECATHLON... 10 GRUELING

901
00:26:34,060 --> 00:26:36,237
1980.
THE DECATHLON... 10 GRUELING
EVENTS... FROM THE 100 METERS

902
00:26:36,261 --> 00:26:38,540
THE DECATHLON... 10 GRUELING
EVENTS... FROM THE 100 METERS
TO THE 1,500-METER RUN... THE

903
00:26:38,564 --> 00:26:39,541
EVENTS... FROM THE 100 METERS
TO THE 1,500-METER RUN... THE
ULTIMATE TEST.

904
00:26:39,565 --> 00:26:41,176
TO THE 1,500-METER RUN... THE
ULTIMATE TEST.
AND THE WINNER CAN TRULY BE

905
00:26:41,200 --> 00:26:42,844
ULTIMATE TEST.
AND THE WINNER CAN TRULY BE
CALLED THE WORLD'S GREATEST

906
00:26:42,868 --> 00:26:43,645
AND THE WINNER CAN TRULY BE
CALLED THE WORLD'S GREATEST
ATHLETE.

907
00:26:43,669 --> 00:26:45,180
CALLED THE WORLD'S GREATEST
ATHLETE.
THAT IS MY DESTINY.

908
00:26:45,204 --> 00:26:47,515
ATHLETE.
THAT IS MY DESTINY.
OF COURSE, I'LL HAVE TO QUIT THE

909
00:26:47,539 --> 00:26:49,751
THAT IS MY DESTINY.
OF COURSE, I'LL HAVE TO QUIT THE
SHOW AND DEVOTE ALL OF MY TIME

910
00:26:49,775 --> 00:26:50,953
OF COURSE, I'LL HAVE TO QUIT THE
SHOW AND DEVOTE ALL OF MY TIME
TO TRAINING.

911
00:26:50,977 --> 00:26:53,388
SHOW AND DEVOTE ALL OF MY TIME
TO TRAINING.
UNFORTUNATELY, I HAVEN'T SAVED

912
00:26:53,412 --> 00:26:55,958
TO TRAINING.
UNFORTUNATELY, I HAVEN'T SAVED
ANY MONEY FROM THIS SHOW TO LIVE

913
00:26:55,982 --> 00:26:57,759
UNFORTUNATELY, I HAVEN'T SAVED
ANY MONEY FROM THIS SHOW TO LIVE
ON UNTIL THEN.

914
00:26:57,783 --> 00:27:00,796
ANY MONEY FROM THIS SHOW TO LIVE
ON UNTIL THEN.
THAT'S WHY I'M SELLING THESE...

915
00:27:00,820 --> 00:27:02,798
ON UNTIL THEN.
THAT'S WHY I'M SELLING THESE...
OLYMPIC GOLD COINS, WITH THE

916
00:27:02,822 --> 00:27:04,733
THAT'S WHY I'M SELLING THESE...
OLYMPIC GOLD COINS, WITH THE
MASK OF COMEDY AND TRAGEDY ON

917
00:27:04,757 --> 00:27:06,602
OLYMPIC GOLD COINS, WITH THE
MASK OF COMEDY AND TRAGEDY ON
ONE SIDE AND THE LIKENESS OF

918
00:27:06,626 --> 00:27:08,570
MASK OF COMEDY AND TRAGEDY ON
ONE SIDE AND THE LIKENESS OF
MYSELF CLEARING THE HEIGHT OF

919
00:27:08,594 --> 00:27:10,438
ONE SIDE AND THE LIKENESS OF
MYSELF CLEARING THE HEIGHT OF
8'2" IN THE HIGH JUMP ON THE

920
00:27:10,462 --> 00:27:11,073
MYSELF CLEARING THE HEIGHT OF
8'2" IN THE HIGH JUMP ON THE
OTHER.

921
00:27:11,097 --> 00:27:13,008
8'2" IN THE HIGH JUMP ON THE
OTHER.
[OLYMPICS THEME PLAYS]

922
00:27:13,032 --> 00:27:14,843
OTHER.
[OLYMPICS THEME PLAYS]
NOW, WE ALL KNOW THAT THE

923
00:27:14,867 --> 00:27:17,012
[OLYMPICS THEME PLAYS]
NOW, WE ALL KNOW THAT THE
RUSSIAN ATHLETES ARE SUPPORTED

924
00:27:17,036 --> 00:27:18,480
NOW, WE ALL KNOW THAT THE
RUSSIAN ATHLETES ARE SUPPORTED
BY COMMUNIST MONEY.

925
00:27:18,504 --> 00:27:20,315
RUSSIAN ATHLETES ARE SUPPORTED
BY COMMUNIST MONEY.
OLYMPIANS LIKE MYSELF ARE

926
00:27:20,339 --> 00:27:21,783
BY COMMUNIST MONEY.
OLYMPIANS LIKE MYSELF ARE
SUPPORTED SOLELY BY

927
00:27:21,807 --> 00:27:23,752
OLYMPIANS LIKE MYSELF ARE
SUPPORTED SOLELY BY
FREE-ENTERPRISE MONEY, YOUR

928
00:27:23,776 --> 00:27:24,486
SUPPORTED SOLELY BY
FREE-ENTERPRISE MONEY, YOUR
MONEY.

929
00:27:24,510 --> 00:27:26,755
FREE-ENTERPRISE MONEY, YOUR
MONEY.
THINK OF IT AS AN INVESTMENT, OR

930
00:27:26,779 --> 00:27:30,092
MONEY.
THINK OF IT AS AN INVESTMENT, OR
A RIP-OFF, I DON'T CARE.

931
00:27:30,116 --> 00:27:32,193
THINK OF IT AS AN INVESTMENT, OR
A RIP-OFF, I DON'T CARE.
BECAUSE FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE, I'M

932
00:27:32,217 --> 00:27:34,229
A RIP-OFF, I DON'T CARE.
BECAUSE FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE, I'M
NOT GOING FOR THE LAUGH.

933
00:27:34,253 --> 00:27:37,065
BECAUSE FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE, I'M
NOT GOING FOR THE LAUGH.
I'M GOING FOR THE GOLD.

934
00:27:37,089 --> 00:27:43,171
NOT GOING FOR THE LAUGH.
I'M GOING FOR THE GOLD.
Announcer: SEND $5 TO...

935
00:27:43,195 --> 00:27:45,340
I'M GOING FOR THE GOLD.
Announcer: SEND $5 TO...
SEE YOU IN MOSCOW IN 1980.

936
00:27:45,364 --> 00:27:49,811
Announcer: SEND $5 TO...
SEE YOU IN MOSCOW IN 1980.
BE THERE.

937
00:27:49,835 --> 00:27:51,702
SEE YOU IN MOSCOW IN 1980.
BE THERE.
TWO.

938
00:28:01,046 --> 00:28:04,459
Announcer: AND NOW
"WEEKEND UPDATE" WITH
JANE CURTIN.

939
00:28:04,483 --> 00:28:06,261
"WEEKEND UPDATE" WITH
JANE CURTIN.
BEFORE I BEGIN, LET ME JUST

940
00:28:06,285 --> 00:28:07,829
JANE CURTIN.
BEFORE I BEGIN, LET ME JUST
SAY THAT MANY OF YOU HAVE

941
00:28:07,853 --> 00:28:09,731
BEFORE I BEGIN, LET ME JUST
SAY THAT MANY OF YOU HAVE
WRITTEN IN, ASKING IF THAT NOISE

942
00:28:09,755 --> 00:28:11,399
SAY THAT MANY OF YOU HAVE
WRITTEN IN, ASKING IF THAT NOISE
YOU HEAR IS A REAL TELETYPE

943
00:28:11,423 --> 00:28:13,268
WRITTEN IN, ASKING IF THAT NOISE
YOU HEAR IS A REAL TELETYPE
MACHINE OR JUST A SOUND EFFECT.

944
00:28:13,292 --> 00:28:14,602
YOU HEAR IS A REAL TELETYPE
MACHINE OR JUST A SOUND EFFECT.
THANK YOU FOR ASKING.

945
00:28:14,626 --> 00:28:19,107
MACHINE OR JUST A SOUND EFFECT.
THANK YOU FOR ASKING.
WE APPRECIATE YOUR CONCERN.

946
00:28:19,131 --> 00:28:20,642
THANK YOU FOR ASKING.
WE APPRECIATE YOUR CONCERN.
OUR TOP STORY TONIGHT...

947
00:28:20,666 --> 00:28:22,243
WE APPRECIATE YOUR CONCERN.
OUR TOP STORY TONIGHT...
<i>HUSTLER MAGAZINE</i> PUBLISHER

948
00:28:22,267 --> 00:28:24,212
OUR TOP STORY TONIGHT...
<i>HUSTLER MAGAZINE</i> PUBLISHER
LARRY FLYNT, OUT OF JAIL PENDING

949
00:28:24,236 --> 00:28:26,114
<i>HUSTLER MAGAZINE</i> PUBLISHER
LARRY FLYNT, OUT OF JAIL PENDING
HIS OBSCENITY CHARGE, THIS WEEK

950
00:28:26,138 --> 00:28:28,083
LARRY FLYNT, OUT OF JAIL PENDING
HIS OBSCENITY CHARGE, THIS WEEK
HIRED THE NEW YORK YANKEES FOR A

951
00:28:28,107 --> 00:28:29,617
HIS OBSCENITY CHARGE, THIS WEEK
HIRED THE NEW YORK YANKEES FOR A
CENTERFOLD SPREAD IN HIS

952
00:28:29,641 --> 00:28:30,218
HIRED THE NEW YORK YANKEES FOR A
CENTERFOLD SPREAD IN HIS
MAGAZINE.

953
00:28:30,242 --> 00:28:31,687
CENTERFOLD SPREAD IN HIS
MAGAZINE.
MEMBERS OF THE BALL CLUB SHOWN

954
00:28:31,711 --> 00:28:33,055
MAGAZINE.
MEMBERS OF THE BALL CLUB SHOWN
REHEARSING FOR THE UPCOMING

955
00:28:33,079 --> 00:28:34,355
MEMBERS OF THE BALL CLUB SHOWN
REHEARSING FOR THE UPCOMING
PHOTO SESSION SAY IT'S THE

956
00:28:34,379 --> 00:28:35,824
REHEARSING FOR THE UPCOMING
PHOTO SESSION SAY IT'S THE
BIGGEST THING TO HIT BASEBALL

957
00:28:35,848 --> 00:28:37,659
PHOTO SESSION SAY IT'S THE
BIGGEST THING TO HIT BASEBALL
SINCE THE SUICIDE SQUEEZE

958
00:28:37,683 --> 00:28:40,062
BIGGEST THING TO HIT BASEBALL
SINCE THE SUICIDE SQUEEZE
DEMONSTRATED HERE.

959
00:28:40,086 --> 00:28:41,830
SINCE THE SUICIDE SQUEEZE
DEMONSTRATED HERE.
IN A SUDDEN POLICY SHIFT, "THE

960
00:28:41,854 --> 00:28:43,131
DEMONSTRATED HERE.
IN A SUDDEN POLICY SHIFT, "THE
TONIGHT SHOW STARRING

961
00:28:43,155 --> 00:28:44,700
IN A SUDDEN POLICY SHIFT, "THE
TONIGHT SHOW STARRING
JOHNNY CARSON" WILL NOT BE

962
00:28:44,724 --> 00:28:46,367
TONIGHT SHOW STARRING
JOHNNY CARSON" WILL NOT BE
BROADCAST LIVE STARTING NEXT

963
00:28:46,391 --> 00:28:48,136
JOHNNY CARSON" WILL NOT BE
BROADCAST LIVE STARTING NEXT
WEEK, AS PREVIOUSLY ANNOUNCED.

964
00:28:48,160 --> 00:28:49,671
BROADCAST LIVE STARTING NEXT
WEEK, AS PREVIOUSLY ANNOUNCED.
THE DECISION WAS BASED ON

965
00:28:49,695 --> 00:28:51,472
WEEK, AS PREVIOUSLY ANNOUNCED.
THE DECISION WAS BASED ON
CALIFORNIA'S NEW EUTHANASIA LAW,

966
00:28:51,496 --> 00:28:53,341
THE DECISION WAS BASED ON
CALIFORNIA'S NEW EUTHANASIA LAW,
WHICH STATES THAT A PROGRAM DOES

967
00:28:53,365 --> 00:28:55,010
CALIFORNIA'S NEW EUTHANASIA LAW,
WHICH STATES THAT A PROGRAM DOES
NOT HAVE TO BE KEPT ALIVE BY

968
00:28:55,034 --> 00:28:56,678
WHICH STATES THAT A PROGRAM DOES
NOT HAVE TO BE KEPT ALIVE BY
ARTIFICIAL MEANS AND HAS THE

969
00:28:56,702 --> 00:29:00,582
NOT HAVE TO BE KEPT ALIVE BY
ARTIFICIAL MEANS AND HAS THE
RIGHT TO A DIGNIFIED DEATH.

970
00:29:00,606 --> 00:29:02,317
ARTIFICIAL MEANS AND HAS THE
RIGHT TO A DIGNIFIED DEATH.
IN A SURPRISE ANNOUNCEMENT THIS

971
00:29:02,341 --> 00:29:03,985
RIGHT TO A DIGNIFIED DEATH.
IN A SURPRISE ANNOUNCEMENT THIS
WEEK, LILLIAN CARTER SAID SHE

972
00:29:04,009 --> 00:29:05,721
IN A SURPRISE ANNOUNCEMENT THIS
WEEK, LILLIAN CARTER SAID SHE
WILL MARRY HEAVYWEIGHT WRESTLER

973
00:29:05,745 --> 00:29:07,488
WEEK, LILLIAN CARTER SAID SHE
WILL MARRY HEAVYWEIGHT WRESTLER
GORILLA KOWALSKI.

974
00:29:07,512 --> 00:29:08,990
WILL MARRY HEAVYWEIGHT WRESTLER
GORILLA KOWALSKI.
THE 78-YEAR-OLD PRESIDENTIAL

975
00:29:09,014 --> 00:29:10,692
GORILLA KOWALSKI.
THE 78-YEAR-OLD PRESIDENTIAL
MOTHER SAID SHE AND KOWALSKI MET

976
00:29:10,716 --> 00:29:12,260
THE 78-YEAR-OLD PRESIDENTIAL
MOTHER SAID SHE AND KOWALSKI MET
WHEN SHE VISITED HIS TRAINING

977
00:29:12,284 --> 00:29:13,661
MOTHER SAID SHE AND KOWALSKI MET
WHEN SHE VISITED HIS TRAINING
CAMP IN GEORGIA, WHERE THEY

978
00:29:13,685 --> 00:29:15,130
WHEN SHE VISITED HIS TRAINING
CAMP IN GEORGIA, WHERE THEY
WRESTLED FOR PHOTOGRAPHERS.

979
00:29:15,154 --> 00:29:16,732
CAMP IN GEORGIA, WHERE THEY
WRESTLED FOR PHOTOGRAPHERS.
SAID MISS LILLIAN, "I BEAT HIM

980
00:29:16,756 --> 00:29:18,333
WRESTLED FOR PHOTOGRAPHERS.
SAID MISS LILLIAN, "I BEAT HIM
TWO OUT OF THREE FALLS, AND HE

981
00:29:18,357 --> 00:29:19,601
SAID MISS LILLIAN, "I BEAT HIM
TWO OUT OF THREE FALLS, AND HE
PROPOSED ON THE SPOT."

982
00:29:19,625 --> 00:29:21,136
TWO OUT OF THREE FALLS, AND HE
PROPOSED ON THE SPOT."
KOWALSKI, WHO WAS PREVIOUSLY

983
00:29:21,160 --> 00:29:22,704
PROPOSED ON THE SPOT."
KOWALSKI, WHO WAS PREVIOUSLY
MARRIED TO ELEANOR ROOSEVELT,

984
00:29:22,728 --> 00:29:24,639
KOWALSKI, WHO WAS PREVIOUSLY
MARRIED TO ELEANOR ROOSEVELT,
BESS TRUMAN, MAMIE EISENHOWER,

985
00:29:24,663 --> 00:29:26,541
MARRIED TO ELEANOR ROOSEVELT,
BESS TRUMAN, MAMIE EISENHOWER,
AND ROSE KENNEDY SAID, "I JUST

986
00:29:26,565 --> 00:29:28,409
BESS TRUMAN, MAMIE EISENHOWER,
AND ROSE KENNEDY SAID, "I JUST
CAN'T STAY AWAY FROM VERY OLD

987
00:29:28,433 --> 00:29:30,045
AND ROSE KENNEDY SAID, "I JUST
CAN'T STAY AWAY FROM VERY OLD
LADIES WHO ARE RELATED TO

988
00:29:30,069 --> 00:29:30,979
CAN'T STAY AWAY FROM VERY OLD
LADIES WHO ARE RELATED TO
PRESIDENTS."

989
00:29:31,003 --> 00:29:32,748
LADIES WHO ARE RELATED TO
PRESIDENTS."
"WEEKEND UPDATE" WISHES THE

990
00:29:32,772 --> 00:29:35,383
PRESIDENTS."
"WEEKEND UPDATE" WISHES THE
COUPLE ALL THE BEST.

991
00:29:35,407 --> 00:29:36,818
"WEEKEND UPDATE" WISHES THE
COUPLE ALL THE BEST.
FRENCH OFFICIALS, STILL

992
00:29:36,842 --> 00:29:38,653
COUPLE ALL THE BEST.
FRENCH OFFICIALS, STILL
CONCERNED OVER RECENT AIRPLANE

993
00:29:38,677 --> 00:29:40,355
FRENCH OFFICIALS, STILL
CONCERNED OVER RECENT AIRPLANE
HIJACKINGS, STEPPED UP THEIR

994
00:29:40,379 --> 00:29:42,224
CONCERNED OVER RECENT AIRPLANE
HIJACKINGS, STEPPED UP THEIR
AIRPORT-SURVEILLANCE PROCEDURES

995
00:29:42,248 --> 00:29:44,059
HIJACKINGS, STEPPED UP THEIR
AIRPORT-SURVEILLANCE PROCEDURES
THIS WEEK AND CONVERTED

996
00:29:44,083 --> 00:29:46,394
AIRPORT-SURVEILLANCE PROCEDURES
THIS WEEK AND CONVERTED
THE ARC DE TRIOMPHE INTO A VERY

997
00:29:46,418 --> 00:29:48,096
THIS WEEK AND CONVERTED
THE ARC DE TRIOMPHE INTO A VERY
LARGE METAL DETECTOR.

998
00:29:48,120 --> 00:29:49,865
THE ARC DE TRIOMPHE INTO A VERY
LARGE METAL DETECTOR.
PASSENGERS ARE SHOWN HERE BEING

999
00:29:49,889 --> 00:29:51,599
LARGE METAL DETECTOR.
PASSENGERS ARE SHOWN HERE BEING
SCREENED FOR A CONCORDE FLIGHT

1000
00:29:51,623 --> 00:29:53,268
PASSENGERS ARE SHOWN HERE BEING
SCREENED FOR A CONCORDE FLIGHT
TO RIO DE JANEIRO.

1001
00:29:53,292 --> 00:29:57,839
SCREENED FOR A CONCORDE FLIGHT
TO RIO DE JANEIRO.
[ALARM SOUNDING]

1002
00:29:57,863 --> 00:29:59,274
TO RIO DE JANEIRO.
[ALARM SOUNDING]
[LAUGHTER]

1003
00:29:59,298 --> 00:30:00,942
[ALARM SOUNDING]
[LAUGHTER]
THE FOOD AND DRUG ADMINISTRATION

1004
00:30:00,966 --> 00:30:02,577
[LAUGHTER]
THE FOOD AND DRUG ADMINISTRATION
RELEASED A REPORT THIS WEEK THAT

1005
00:30:02,601 --> 00:30:04,012
THE FOOD AND DRUG ADMINISTRATION
RELEASED A REPORT THIS WEEK THAT
SAYS THAT THREE OUT OF FOUR

1006
00:30:04,036 --> 00:30:05,580
RELEASED A REPORT THIS WEEK THAT
SAYS THAT THREE OUT OF FOUR
DENTISTS RECOMMEND SUGARCOATED

1007
00:30:05,604 --> 00:30:07,182
SAYS THAT THREE OUT OF FOUR
DENTISTS RECOMMEND SUGARCOATED
GUM FOR THEIR PATIENTS WHO FEAR

1008
00:30:07,206 --> 00:30:08,950
DENTISTS RECOMMEND SUGARCOATED
GUM FOR THEIR PATIENTS WHO FEAR
CANCER.

1009
00:30:08,974 --> 00:30:10,852
GUM FOR THEIR PATIENTS WHO FEAR
CANCER.
AND IN A RELATED STORY, THE FOOD

1010
00:30:10,876 --> 00:30:12,520
CANCER.
AND IN A RELATED STORY, THE FOOD
AND DRUG ADMINISTRATION HAS

1011
00:30:12,544 --> 00:30:14,256
AND IN A RELATED STORY, THE FOOD
AND DRUG ADMINISTRATION HAS
ANNOUNCED THAT IN ADDITION TO

1012
00:30:14,280 --> 00:30:16,158
AND DRUG ADMINISTRATION HAS
ANNOUNCED THAT IN ADDITION TO
SACCHARINE, IT IS ALSO PLACING A

1013
00:30:16,182 --> 00:30:17,926
ANNOUNCED THAT IN ADDITION TO
SACCHARINE, IT IS ALSO PLACING A
BAN ON FLORENCE HENDERSON AND

1014
00:30:17,950 --> 00:30:19,560
SACCHARINE, IT IS ALSO PLACING A
BAN ON FLORENCE HENDERSON AND
DAVID HARTMAN, EFFECTIVE IN

1015
00:30:19,584 --> 00:30:22,463
BAN ON FLORENCE HENDERSON AND
DAVID HARTMAN, EFFECTIVE IN
JULY.

1016
00:30:22,487 --> 00:30:24,599
DAVID HARTMAN, EFFECTIVE IN
JULY.
AND NOW WITH A SPECIAL REMOTE,

1017
00:30:24,623 --> 00:30:26,067
JULY.
AND NOW WITH A SPECIAL REMOTE,
WE TAKE YOU LIVE TO

1018
00:30:26,091 --> 00:30:29,003
AND NOW WITH A SPECIAL REMOTE,
WE TAKE YOU LIVE TO
CORRESPONDENT LARAINE NEWMAN.

1019
00:30:29,027 --> 00:30:30,928
JANE, I'M STANDING HERE WITH

1020
00:30:31,062 --> 00:30:32,863
MUHAMMAD ALI, THE HEAVYWEIGHT

1021
00:30:32,997 --> 00:30:34,231
CHAMP OF THE WORLD.

1022
00:30:34,365 --> 00:30:35,999
RECENTLY, HE SAW THE MOVIE

1023
00:30:36,134 --> 00:30:38,035
"ROCKY," AND THE CHAMP HAS SOME

1024
00:30:38,169 --> 00:30:39,703
WORDS ABOUT IT.

1025
00:30:39,971 --> 00:30:42,717
YEAH, I AM THE CHAMP OF THE
WORLD.
TO ALL, THIS IS KNOWN.

1026
00:30:42,741 --> 00:30:43,952
WORLD.
TO ALL, THIS IS KNOWN.
NOW, LET'S TALK ABOUT THIS

1027
00:30:43,976 --> 00:30:45,453
TO ALL, THIS IS KNOWN.
NOW, LET'S TALK ABOUT THIS
TURKEY SYLVESTER STALLONE.

1028
00:30:45,477 --> 00:30:47,088
NOW, LET'S TALK ABOUT THIS
TURKEY SYLVESTER STALLONE.
TO GO MAKE A MOVIE AND CALL A

1029
00:30:47,112 --> 00:30:48,723
TURKEY SYLVESTER STALLONE.
TO GO MAKE A MOVIE AND CALL A
CHAMP "ROCKY"... SOME CALL IT

1030
00:30:48,747 --> 00:30:50,358
TO GO MAKE A MOVIE AND CALL A
CHAMP "ROCKY"... SOME CALL IT
GENIUS, BUT I CALLS IT COCKY.

1031
00:30:50,382 --> 00:30:51,759
CHAMP "ROCKY"... SOME CALL IT
GENIUS, BUT I CALLS IT COCKY.
SO, I DECIDED TO MOUNT A

1032
00:30:51,783 --> 00:30:52,694
GENIUS, BUT I CALLS IT COCKY.
SO, I DECIDED TO MOUNT A
COUNTERATTACK.

1033
00:30:52,718 --> 00:30:54,129
SO, I DECIDED TO MOUNT A
COUNTERATTACK.
I'M GONNA WRITE, PRODUCE,

1034
00:30:54,153 --> 00:30:55,897
COUNTERATTACK.
I'M GONNA WRITE, PRODUCE,
DIRECT, AND ACT IN "ON THE

1035
00:30:55,921 --> 00:30:57,966
I'M GONNA WRITE, PRODUCE,
DIRECT, AND ACT IN "ON THE
WATERFRONT," BUT I'LL REMAKE IT

1036
00:30:57,990 --> 00:30:59,968
DIRECT, AND ACT IN "ON THE
WATERFRONT," BUT I'LL REMAKE IT
IN BLACK, SO EVEN MARLON BRANDO

1037
00:30:59,992 --> 00:31:01,903
WATERFRONT," BUT I'LL REMAKE IT
IN BLACK, SO EVEN MARLON BRANDO
BETTER STEP BACK AS I PORTRAY

1038
00:31:01,927 --> 00:31:04,039
IN BLACK, SO EVEN MARLON BRANDO
BETTER STEP BACK AS I PORTRAY
THE YOUNG IRISH BOY KNOWN TO THE

1039
00:31:04,063 --> 00:31:05,740
BETTER STEP BACK AS I PORTRAY
THE YOUNG IRISH BOY KNOWN TO THE
WORLD AS TERRY MALLOY.

1040
00:31:05,764 --> 00:31:08,009
THE YOUNG IRISH BOY KNOWN TO THE
WORLD AS TERRY MALLOY.
WELL, THEN, MUHAMMAD, I GUESS

1041
00:31:08,033 --> 00:31:09,978
WORLD AS TERRY MALLOY.
WELL, THEN, MUHAMMAD, I GUESS
YOU MIGHT SAY THAT A BLACK,

1042
00:31:10,002 --> 00:31:11,913
WELL, THEN, MUHAMMAD, I GUESS
YOU MIGHT SAY THAT A BLACK,
IRISH MUSLIM IS WHAT YOU'LL

1043
00:31:11,937 --> 00:31:12,714
YOU MIGHT SAY THAT A BLACK,
IRISH MUSLIM IS WHAT YOU'LL
PORTRAY.

1044
00:31:12,738 --> 00:31:14,649
IRISH MUSLIM IS WHAT YOU'LL
PORTRAY.
AND AS YOU'RE THE CHAMP AT ALL

1045
00:31:14,673 --> 00:31:16,617
PORTRAY.
AND AS YOU'RE THE CHAMP AT ALL
YOU DO, I KNOW YOU'LL BE CHAMP

1046
00:31:16,641 --> 00:31:17,719
AND AS YOU'RE THE CHAMP AT ALL
YOU DO, I KNOW YOU'LL BE CHAMP
AT ACTING, TOO.

1047
00:31:17,743 --> 00:31:19,187
YOU DO, I KNOW YOU'LL BE CHAMP
AT ACTING, TOO.
YEAH, I'VE BEEN TRAINING REAL

1048
00:31:19,211 --> 00:31:19,587
AT ACTING, TOO.
YEAH, I'VE BEEN TRAINING REAL
HARD.

1049
00:31:19,611 --> 00:31:21,056
YEAH, I'VE BEEN TRAINING REAL
HARD.
AND WHEN MY TRAINING IS THROUGH,

1050
00:31:21,080 --> 00:31:22,290
HARD.
AND WHEN MY TRAINING IS THROUGH,
I TELL YOU EXACTLY WHAT I'M

1051
00:31:22,314 --> 00:31:22,858
AND WHEN MY TRAINING IS THROUGH,
I TELL YOU EXACTLY WHAT I'M
GONNA DO.

1052
00:31:22,882 --> 00:31:24,592
I TELL YOU EXACTLY WHAT I'M
GONNA DO.
I'M GONNA WHOP FRED WILLIAMSON.

1053
00:31:24,616 --> 00:31:25,727
GONNA DO.
I'M GONNA WHOP FRED WILLIAMSON.
THEN I'M GONNA WHOP

1054
00:31:25,751 --> 00:31:26,594
I'M GONNA WHOP FRED WILLIAMSON.
THEN I'M GONNA WHOP
O.J. SIMPSON.

1055
00:31:26,618 --> 00:31:28,096
THEN I'M GONNA WHOP
O.J. SIMPSON.
LeVAR BURTON, HE JUST CAME

1056
00:31:28,120 --> 00:31:29,731
O.J. SIMPSON.
LeVAR BURTON, HE JUST CAME
OUT, GONNA WATCH HIM, SEE WHAT

1057
00:31:29,755 --> 00:31:30,498
LeVAR BURTON, HE JUST CAME
OUT, GONNA WATCH HIM, SEE WHAT
HE'S ABOUT.

1058
00:31:30,522 --> 00:31:32,133
OUT, GONNA WATCH HIM, SEE WHAT
HE'S ABOUT.
THEN I'M GONNA WHOP HIM, TOO,

1059
00:31:32,157 --> 00:31:33,368
HE'S ABOUT.
THEN I'M GONNA WHOP HIM, TOO,
BEFORE I'M THROUGH.

1060
00:31:33,392 --> 00:31:34,870
THEN I'M GONNA WHOP HIM, TOO,
BEFORE I'M THROUGH.
YEAH, BUT RIGHT NOW, I'M

1061
00:31:34,894 --> 00:31:36,704
BEFORE I'M THROUGH.
YEAH, BUT RIGHT NOW, I'M
CASTING THIS MOVIE BECAUSE IT'S

1062
00:31:36,728 --> 00:31:38,573
YEAH, BUT RIGHT NOW, I'M
CASTING THIS MOVIE BECAUSE IT'S
CLOSE TO MY HEART, AND I NEED A

1063
00:31:38,597 --> 00:31:40,308
CASTING THIS MOVIE BECAUSE IT'S
CLOSE TO MY HEART, AND I NEED A
WOMAN TO PLAY A SPECIAL PART.

1064
00:31:40,332 --> 00:31:41,409
CLOSE TO MY HEART, AND I NEED A
WOMAN TO PLAY A SPECIAL PART.
SHE IS GONNA PLAY THE

1065
00:31:41,433 --> 00:31:42,878
WOMAN TO PLAY A SPECIAL PART.
SHE IS GONNA PLAY THE
GIRLFRIEND, SO SHE'S GOT TO BE

1066
00:31:42,902 --> 00:31:44,346
SHE IS GONNA PLAY THE
GIRLFRIEND, SO SHE'S GOT TO BE
RIGHT, 'CAUSE AS YOU REMEMBER,

1067
00:31:44,370 --> 00:31:46,014
GIRLFRIEND, SO SHE'S GOT TO BE
RIGHT, 'CAUSE AS YOU REMEMBER,
THE GIRLFRIEND WAS WHITE.

1068
00:31:46,038 --> 00:31:47,916
RIGHT, 'CAUSE AS YOU REMEMBER,
THE GIRLFRIEND WAS WHITE.
WELL, I'VE ALWAYS WONDERED

1069
00:31:47,940 --> 00:31:49,918
THE GIRLFRIEND WAS WHITE.
WELL, I'VE ALWAYS WONDERED
HOW IT WOULD BE TO BE STUNG BY

1070
00:31:49,942 --> 00:31:52,420
WELL, I'VE ALWAYS WONDERED
HOW IT WOULD BE TO BE STUNG BY
A BUTTERFLY WHO FLOATS LIKE A

1071
00:31:52,444 --> 00:31:53,989
HOW IT WOULD BE TO BE STUNG BY
A BUTTERFLY WHO FLOATS LIKE A
BEE.

1072
00:31:54,013 --> 00:31:55,623
A BUTTERFLY WHO FLOATS LIKE A
BEE.
THIS IS LARAINE NEWMAN

1073
00:31:55,647 --> 00:31:56,992
BEE.
THIS IS LARAINE NEWMAN
SIGNING OFF.

1074
00:31:57,016 --> 00:32:02,764
THIS IS LARAINE NEWMAN
SIGNING OFF.
BACK TO YOU, JANE.

1075
00:32:02,788 --> 00:32:04,332
SIGNING OFF.
BACK TO YOU, JANE.
A CORRECTION TO A STORY

1076
00:32:04,356 --> 00:32:05,566
BACK TO YOU, JANE.
A CORRECTION TO A STORY
RECENTLY REPORTED ON

1077
00:32:05,590 --> 00:32:06,768
A CORRECTION TO A STORY
RECENTLY REPORTED ON
"WEEKEND UPDATE"...

1078
00:32:06,792 --> 00:32:08,370
RECENTLY REPORTED ON
"WEEKEND UPDATE"...
LAST WEEK, WE INADVERTENTLY

1079
00:32:08,394 --> 00:32:10,238
"WEEKEND UPDATE"...
LAST WEEK, WE INADVERTENTLY
REPORTED THAT THE MUSLIM PROPHET

1080
00:32:10,262 --> 00:32:12,107
LAST WEEK, WE INADVERTENTLY
REPORTED THAT THE MUSLIM PROPHET
MUHAMMAD IS A BRAND OF CHOCOLATE

1081
00:32:12,131 --> 00:32:12,740
REPORTED THAT THE MUSLIM PROPHET
MUHAMMAD IS A BRAND OF CHOCOLATE
PUDDING.

1082
00:32:12,764 --> 00:32:14,242
MUHAMMAD IS A BRAND OF CHOCOLATE
PUDDING.
WELL, WE STAND CORRECTED.

1083
00:32:14,266 --> 00:32:15,977
PUDDING.
WELL, WE STAND CORRECTED.
WHAT WE MEANT TO SAY WAS THAT

1084
00:32:16,001 --> 00:32:17,412
WELL, WE STAND CORRECTED.
WHAT WE MEANT TO SAY WAS THAT
THE SOUND WAVES FROM THE

1085
00:32:17,436 --> 00:32:19,180
WHAT WE MEANT TO SAY WAS THAT
THE SOUND WAVES FROM THE
CONCORDE SST CAUSE CHILDREN'S

1086
00:32:19,204 --> 00:32:20,982
THE SOUND WAVES FROM THE
CONCORDE SST CAUSE CHILDREN'S
SEX GLANDS TO MATURE AT THE AGE

1087
00:32:21,006 --> 00:32:23,184
CONCORDE SST CAUSE CHILDREN'S
SEX GLANDS TO MATURE AT THE AGE
OF 3.

1088
00:32:23,208 --> 00:32:24,652
SEX GLANDS TO MATURE AT THE AGE
OF 3.
MARGARET TRUDEAU, WIFE OF

1089
00:32:24,676 --> 00:32:26,054
OF 3.
MARGARET TRUDEAU, WIFE OF
CANADIAN PRIME MINISTER

1090
00:32:26,078 --> 00:32:27,655
MARGARET TRUDEAU, WIFE OF
CANADIAN PRIME MINISTER
PIERRE ELLIOTT TRUDEAU, THIS

1091
00:32:27,679 --> 00:32:29,424
CANADIAN PRIME MINISTER
PIERRE ELLIOTT TRUDEAU, THIS
WEEK DENIED THAT SHE WAS HAVING

1092
00:32:29,448 --> 00:32:31,126
PIERRE ELLIOTT TRUDEAU, THIS
WEEK DENIED THAT SHE WAS HAVING
AN AFFAIR WITH MICK JAGGER OF

1093
00:32:31,150 --> 00:32:32,294
WEEK DENIED THAT SHE WAS HAVING
AN AFFAIR WITH MICK JAGGER OF
THE ROLLING STONES.

1094
00:32:32,318 --> 00:32:33,861
AN AFFAIR WITH MICK JAGGER OF
THE ROLLING STONES.
JAGGER ALSO DENIED THE RUMOR,

1095
00:32:33,885 --> 00:32:35,297
THE ROLLING STONES.
JAGGER ALSO DENIED THE RUMOR,
REPORTEDLY SAYING HE HASN'T

1096
00:32:35,321 --> 00:32:36,864
JAGGER ALSO DENIED THE RUMOR,
REPORTEDLY SAYING HE HASN'T
FOOLED AROUND WITH A CANADIAN

1097
00:32:36,888 --> 00:32:37,999
REPORTEDLY SAYING HE HASN'T
FOOLED AROUND WITH A CANADIAN
SINCE HE PLAYED WITH

1098
00:32:38,023 --> 00:32:39,467
FOOLED AROUND WITH A CANADIAN
SINCE HE PLAYED WITH
GUY LOMBARDO'S HORN SOME 15

1099
00:32:39,491 --> 00:32:43,204
SINCE HE PLAYED WITH
GUY LOMBARDO'S HORN SOME 15
YEARS AGO.

1100
00:32:43,228 --> 00:32:45,273
GUY LOMBARDO'S HORN SOME 15
YEARS AGO.
AND NOW WITH TONIGHT'S

1101
00:32:45,297 --> 00:32:47,342
YEARS AGO.
AND NOW WITH TONIGHT'S
COMMENTARY IS "UPDATE"

1102
00:32:47,366 --> 00:32:50,912
AND NOW WITH TONIGHT'S
COMMENTARY IS "UPDATE"
CORRESPONDENT EMILY LITELLA.

1103
00:32:50,936 --> 00:32:55,016
COMMENTARY IS "UPDATE"
CORRESPONDENT EMILY LITELLA.
WHY, THANK YOU, JANE.

1104
00:32:55,040 --> 00:32:56,151
CORRESPONDENT EMILY LITELLA.
WHY, THANK YOU, JANE.
I CAN'T WAIT TO HEAR THIS

1105
00:32:56,175 --> 00:32:58,186
WHY, THANK YOU, JANE.
I CAN'T WAIT TO HEAR THIS
GEM.

1106
00:32:58,210 --> 00:33:00,021
I CAN'T WAIT TO HEAR THIS
GEM.
WHAT'S ALL THIS FUSS I KEEP

1107
00:33:00,045 --> 00:33:04,214
GEM.
WHAT'S ALL THIS FUSS I KEEP
HEARING ABOUT ENDANGERED FECES?

1108
00:33:04,482 --> 00:33:06,984
[LAUGHTER]

1109
00:33:07,118 --> 00:33:09,586
NOW, THAT'S OUTRAGEOUS.

1110
00:33:09,720 --> 00:33:12,356
WHY ARE FECES ENDANGERED?

1111
00:33:12,490 --> 00:33:14,424
HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY RUN OUT

1112
00:33:14,558 --> 00:33:16,726
OF SUCH A THING?

1113
00:33:16,995 --> 00:33:20,708
WHY, JUST LOOK AROUND YOU.
YOU CAN SEE IT ALL OVER THE
PLACE.

1114
00:33:20,732 --> 00:33:23,511
YOU CAN SEE IT ALL OVER THE
PLACE.
AND BESIDES, WHO WANTS TO SAVE

1115
00:33:23,535 --> 00:33:24,946
PLACE.
AND BESIDES, WHO WANTS TO SAVE
THAT, ANYWAY?

1116
00:33:24,970 --> 00:33:27,215
AND BESIDES, WHO WANTS TO SAVE
THAT, ANYWAY?
MY GOODNESS, WHERE WOULD WE KEEP

1117
00:33:27,239 --> 00:33:27,715
THAT, ANYWAY?
MY GOODNESS, WHERE WOULD WE KEEP
IT?

1118
00:33:27,739 --> 00:33:29,817
MY GOODNESS, WHERE WOULD WE KEEP
IT?
IT'S DANGEROUS, ESPECIALLY IN

1119
00:33:29,841 --> 00:33:30,785
IT?
IT'S DANGEROUS, ESPECIALLY IN
THE SUMMER.

1120
00:33:30,809 --> 00:33:32,820
IT'S DANGEROUS, ESPECIALLY IN
THE SUMMER.
THEN IT COULD<i> REALLY</i> HIT THE

1121
00:33:32,844 --> 00:33:34,856
THE SUMMER.
THEN IT COULD<i> REALLY</i> HIT THE
FAN.

1122
00:33:34,880 --> 00:33:36,846
THEN IT COULD<i> REALLY</i> HIT THE
FAN.
[LAUGHING]

1123
00:33:47,158 --> 00:33:55,158
WHAT'S SO FUNNY?
OH, MY JOKE.
OH, COME ON, MISS CURTIN, DIDN'T

1124
00:33:55,234 --> 00:33:56,844
OH, MY JOKE.
OH, COME ON, MISS CURTIN, DIDN'T
YOU EVER HEAR THAT ONE ABOUT

1125
00:33:56,868 --> 00:33:58,679
OH, COME ON, MISS CURTIN, DIDN'T
YOU EVER HEAR THAT ONE ABOUT
HITTING THE FAN?

1126
00:33:58,703 --> 00:34:00,882
YOU EVER HEAR THAT ONE ABOUT
HITTING THE FAN?
OH, COME ON, YOU OLD SHIKSA.

1127
00:34:00,906 --> 00:34:04,419
HITTING THE FAN?
OH, COME ON, YOU OLD SHIKSA.
[LAUGHTER]

1128
00:34:04,443 --> 00:34:06,021
OH, COME ON, YOU OLD SHIKSA.
[LAUGHTER]
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?

1129
00:34:06,045 --> 00:34:07,155
[LAUGHTER]
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
"SPECIES."

1130
00:34:07,179 --> 00:34:08,423
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
"SPECIES."
WHAT'S THAT?

1131
00:34:08,447 --> 00:34:09,424
"SPECIES."
WHAT'S THAT?
SPECIES.

1132
00:34:09,448 --> 00:34:11,726
WHAT'S THAT?
SPECIES.
THE LIST OF ENDANGERED<i> SPECIES.</i>

1133
00:34:11,750 --> 00:34:13,861
SPECIES.
THE LIST OF ENDANGERED<i> SPECIES.</i>
NOT FECES.

1134
00:34:13,885 --> 00:34:15,096
THE LIST OF ENDANGERED<i> SPECIES.</i>
NOT FECES.
SPECIES.

1135
00:34:15,120 --> 00:34:17,232
NOT FECES.
SPECIES.
OHH.

1136
00:34:17,256 --> 00:34:19,200
SPECIES.
OHH.
OH, I MUST HAVE GOTTEN CARRIED

1137
00:34:19,224 --> 00:34:21,169
OHH.
OH, I MUST HAVE GOTTEN CARRIED
AWAY.

1138
00:34:21,193 --> 00:34:23,138
OH, I MUST HAVE GOTTEN CARRIED
AWAY.
NEVER MIND.

1139
00:34:23,162 --> 00:34:30,978
AWAY.
NEVER MIND.
[APPLAUSE]

1140
00:34:31,002 --> 00:34:32,447
NEVER MIND.
[APPLAUSE]
IT'S WEARING THIN, EMILY.

1141
00:34:32,471 --> 00:34:33,181
[APPLAUSE]
IT'S WEARING THIN, EMILY.
WHAT IS?

1142
00:34:33,205 --> 00:34:34,582
IT'S WEARING THIN, EMILY.
WHAT IS?
THE "NEVER MIND" THING.

1143
00:34:34,606 --> 00:34:36,151
WHAT IS?
THE "NEVER MIND" THING.
YOU'VE BEEN DOING IT FOR CLOSE

1144
00:34:36,175 --> 00:34:37,085
THE "NEVER MIND" THING.
YOU'VE BEEN DOING IT FOR CLOSE
TO TWO YEARS.

1145
00:34:37,109 --> 00:34:38,886
YOU'VE BEEN DOING IT FOR CLOSE
TO TWO YEARS.
AT FIRST, IT WAS CUTE, THEN IT

1146
00:34:38,910 --> 00:34:39,854
TO TWO YEARS.
AT FIRST, IT WAS CUTE, THEN IT
WAS TOLERABLE.

1147
00:34:39,878 --> 00:34:41,056
AT FIRST, IT WAS CUTE, THEN IT
WAS TOLERABLE.
NOW IT'S ANNOYING.

1148
00:34:41,080 --> 00:34:42,957
WAS TOLERABLE.
NOW IT'S ANNOYING.
WELL, I'M SORRY THAT YOU FEEL

1149
00:34:42,981 --> 00:34:43,658
NOW IT'S ANNOYING.
WELL, I'M SORRY THAT YOU FEEL
THAT WAY.

1150
00:34:43,682 --> 00:34:45,360
WELL, I'M SORRY THAT YOU FEEL
THAT WAY.
YOU'RE RUINING "UPDATE'S"

1151
00:34:45,384 --> 00:34:47,062
THAT WAY.
YOU'RE RUINING "UPDATE'S"
CREDIBILITY AS A RESPONSIBLE

1152
00:34:47,086 --> 00:34:47,895
YOU'RE RUINING "UPDATE'S"
CREDIBILITY AS A RESPONSIBLE
JOURNALIST.

1153
00:34:47,919 --> 00:34:49,330
CREDIBILITY AS A RESPONSIBLE
JOURNALIST.
OH, MY GOODNESS, MISS CURTIN,

1154
00:34:49,354 --> 00:34:50,665
JOURNALIST.
OH, MY GOODNESS, MISS CURTIN,
I WOULDN'T WANT TO DO ANYTHING

1155
00:34:50,689 --> 00:34:51,232
OH, MY GOODNESS, MISS CURTIN,
I WOULDN'T WANT TO DO ANYTHING
LIKE THAT.

1156
00:34:51,256 --> 00:34:52,400
I WOULDN'T WANT TO DO ANYTHING
LIKE THAT.
I'M SURE YOU WOULDN'T.

1157
00:34:52,424 --> 00:34:53,634
LIKE THAT.
I'M SURE YOU WOULDN'T.
SO, WHY DON'T YOU JUST QUIT

1158
00:34:53,658 --> 00:34:54,936
I'M SURE YOU WOULDN'T.
SO, WHY DON'T YOU JUST QUIT
"UPDATE" AND TRY YOUR HAND AT

1159
00:34:54,960 --> 00:34:55,836
SO, WHY DON'T YOU JUST QUIT
"UPDATE" AND TRY YOUR HAND AT
SOMETHING ELSE?

1160
00:34:55,860 --> 00:34:57,338
"UPDATE" AND TRY YOUR HAND AT
SOMETHING ELSE?
WE CAN GET ALONG FINE WITHOUT

1161
00:34:57,362 --> 00:34:57,738
SOMETHING ELSE?
WE CAN GET ALONG FINE WITHOUT
YOU.

1162
00:34:57,762 --> 00:34:59,941
WE CAN GET ALONG FINE WITHOUT
YOU.
PERHAPS YOU COULD...

1163
00:34:59,965 --> 00:35:01,276
YOU.
PERHAPS YOU COULD...
BITCH.

1164
00:35:01,300 --> 00:35:04,212
PERHAPS YOU COULD...
BITCH.
[LAUGHTER]

1165
00:35:04,236 --> 00:35:05,547
BITCH.
[LAUGHTER]
THAT'S OUR NEWS FOR TONIGHT.

1166
00:35:05,571 --> 00:35:06,847
[LAUGHTER]
THAT'S OUR NEWS FOR TONIGHT.
GOOD NIGHT AND HAVE A PLEASANT

1167
00:35:06,871 --> 00:35:09,671
THAT'S OUR NEWS FOR TONIGHT.
GOOD NIGHT AND HAVE A PLEASANT
TOMORROW.

1168
00:35:16,714 --> 00:35:21,762
AND NOW I'D LIKE TO INTRODUCE
RICHARD BASKIN, SINGING A SONG
HE WROTE FROM THE MOVIE

1169
00:35:21,786 --> 00:35:22,630
RICHARD BASKIN, SINGING A SONG
HE WROTE FROM THE MOVIE
"NASHVILLE."

1170
00:35:22,654 --> 00:35:25,233
HE WROTE FROM THE MOVIE
"NASHVILLE."
IT'S CALLED "ONE, I LOVE YOU."

1171
00:35:25,257 --> 00:35:31,806
"NASHVILLE."
IT'S CALLED "ONE, I LOVE YOU."
[APPLAUSE]

1172
00:35:31,830 --> 00:35:33,841
IT'S CALLED "ONE, I LOVE YOU."
[APPLAUSE]
♪ WHEN I FEEL MY LIFE

1173
00:35:33,865 --> 00:35:36,144
[APPLAUSE]
♪ WHEN I FEEL MY LIFE
PERISHING ♪

1174
00:35:36,168 --> 00:35:39,414
♪ WHEN I FEEL MY LIFE
PERISHING ♪
♪ I CALL YOU ON THE PHONE ♪

1175
00:35:39,438 --> 00:35:42,984
PERISHING ♪
♪ I CALL YOU ON THE PHONE ♪
♪ YOU ALWAYS FIX ME UP WHEN I

1176
00:35:43,008 --> 00:35:47,255
♪ I CALL YOU ON THE PHONE ♪
♪ YOU ALWAYS FIX ME UP WHEN I
GET BROKEN ♪

1177
00:35:47,279 --> 00:35:49,657
♪ YOU ALWAYS FIX ME UP WHEN I
GET BROKEN ♪
♪ 'CAUSE EVERY TIME THAT I GOT

1178
00:35:49,681 --> 00:35:54,629
GET BROKEN ♪
♪ 'CAUSE EVERY TIME THAT I GOT
HURT AND WENT OUT OF CONTROL ♪

1179
00:35:54,653 --> 00:35:57,298
♪ 'CAUSE EVERY TIME THAT I GOT
HURT AND WENT OUT OF CONTROL ♪
♪ YOU KNEW THE FEARS I FELT

1180
00:35:57,322 --> 00:36:01,503
HURT AND WENT OUT OF CONTROL ♪
♪ YOU KNEW THE FEARS I FELT
BEFORE I SPOKE THEM ♪

1181
00:36:01,527 --> 00:36:06,807
♪ YOU KNEW THE FEARS I FELT
BEFORE I SPOKE THEM ♪
♪ YOU TELL ME ONE, I LOVE YOU ♪

1182
00:36:06,831 --> 00:36:10,345
BEFORE I SPOKE THEM ♪
♪ YOU TELL ME ONE, I LOVE YOU ♪
♪ AND TWO, I'M THINKING OF YOU ♪

1183
00:36:10,369 --> 00:36:18,319
♪ YOU TELL ME ONE, I LOVE YOU ♪
♪ AND TWO, I'M THINKING OF YOU ♪
♪ THREE, I'LL NEVER LET YOU GO ♪

1184
00:36:18,343 --> 00:36:22,457
♪ AND TWO, I'M THINKING OF YOU ♪
♪ THREE, I'LL NEVER LET YOU GO ♪
♪ FOUR, I MISS YOU ♪

1185
00:36:22,481 --> 00:36:25,660
♪ THREE, I'LL NEVER LET YOU GO ♪
♪ FOUR, I MISS YOU ♪
♪ FIVE, I WANT TO KISS YOU ♪

1186
00:36:25,684 --> 00:36:29,797
♪ FOUR, I MISS YOU ♪
♪ FIVE, I WANT TO KISS YOU ♪
♪ SIX, I WON'T LEAVE YOU NO

1187
00:36:29,821 --> 00:36:33,501
♪ FIVE, I WANT TO KISS YOU ♪
♪ SIX, I WON'T LEAVE YOU NO
MORE ♪

1188
00:36:33,525 --> 00:36:35,436
♪ SIX, I WON'T LEAVE YOU NO
MORE ♪
♪ I FEEL MY TIME HERE

1189
00:36:35,460 --> 00:36:36,971
MORE ♪
♪ I FEEL MY TIME HERE
VANISHING ♪

1190
00:36:36,995 --> 00:36:41,042
♪ I FEEL MY TIME HERE
VANISHING ♪
♪ LIKE WAVES UPON THE SAND ♪

1191
00:36:41,066 --> 00:36:44,379
VANISHING ♪
♪ LIKE WAVES UPON THE SAND ♪
♪ WITH NOTHIN' TO REPLACE IT BUT

1192
00:36:44,403 --> 00:36:47,315
♪ LIKE WAVES UPON THE SAND ♪
♪ WITH NOTHIN' TO REPLACE IT BUT
INVENTION ♪

1193
00:36:47,339 --> 00:36:49,984
♪ WITH NOTHIN' TO REPLACE IT BUT
INVENTION ♪
♪ SO, I MAKE MY RHYMES, AND I

1194
00:36:50,008 --> 00:36:51,486
INVENTION ♪
♪ SO, I MAKE MY RHYMES, AND I
SING MY TUNES ♪

1195
00:36:51,510 --> 00:36:55,056
♪ SO, I MAKE MY RHYMES, AND I
SING MY TUNES ♪
♪ STILL, THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND ♪

1196
00:36:55,080 --> 00:36:58,959
SING MY TUNES ♪
♪ STILL, THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND ♪
♪ TO MAKE 'EM DANCE WAS NEVER MY

1197
00:36:58,983 --> 00:37:01,095
♪ STILL, THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND ♪
♪ TO MAKE 'EM DANCE WAS NEVER MY
INTENTION ♪

1198
00:37:01,119 --> 00:37:04,865
♪ TO MAKE 'EM DANCE WAS NEVER MY
INTENTION ♪
♪ AND, DARLIN', ONE, I LOVE

1199
00:37:04,889 --> 00:37:06,467
INTENTION ♪
♪ AND, DARLIN', ONE, I LOVE
YOU ♪

1200
00:37:06,491 --> 00:37:09,870
♪ AND, DARLIN', ONE, I LOVE
YOU ♪
♪ TWO, I'M THINKING OF YOU ♪

1201
00:37:09,894 --> 00:37:16,777
YOU ♪
♪ TWO, I'M THINKING OF YOU ♪
♪ THREE, I'LL NEVER LET YOU GO ♪

1202
00:37:16,801 --> 00:37:20,548
♪ TWO, I'M THINKING OF YOU ♪
♪ THREE, I'LL NEVER LET YOU GO ♪
♪ FOUR, I MISS YOU ♪

1203
00:37:20,572 --> 00:37:24,552
♪ THREE, I'LL NEVER LET YOU GO ♪
♪ FOUR, I MISS YOU ♪
♪ FIVE, I WANT TO KISS YOU ♪

1204
00:37:24,576 --> 00:37:27,655
♪ FOUR, I MISS YOU ♪
♪ FIVE, I WANT TO KISS YOU ♪
♪ SIX, I WON'T LEAVE YOU NO

1205
00:37:27,679 --> 00:37:29,957
♪ FIVE, I WANT TO KISS YOU ♪
♪ SIX, I WON'T LEAVE YOU NO
MORE ♪

1206
00:37:29,981 --> 00:37:31,092
♪ SIX, I WON'T LEAVE YOU NO
MORE ♪
♪ AND, DARLIN' ♪

1207
00:37:31,116 --> 00:37:34,662
MORE ♪
♪ AND, DARLIN' ♪
♪ ONE, I LOVE YOU ♪

1208
00:37:34,686 --> 00:37:37,998
♪ AND, DARLIN' ♪
♪ ONE, I LOVE YOU ♪
♪ TWO, I'M THINKING OF YOU ♪

1209
00:37:38,022 --> 00:37:45,072
♪ ONE, I LOVE YOU ♪
♪ TWO, I'M THINKING OF YOU ♪
♪ THREE, I'LL NEVER LET YOU GO ♪

1210
00:37:45,096 --> 00:37:48,476
♪ TWO, I'M THINKING OF YOU ♪
♪ THREE, I'LL NEVER LET YOU GO ♪
♪ AND FOUR, I MISS YOU ♪

1211
00:37:48,500 --> 00:37:51,812
♪ THREE, I'LL NEVER LET YOU GO ♪
♪ AND FOUR, I MISS YOU ♪
♪ FIVE, I WANT TO KISS YOU ♪

1212
00:37:51,836 --> 00:37:55,049
♪ AND FOUR, I MISS YOU ♪
♪ FIVE, I WANT TO KISS YOU ♪
♪ SIX, I WON'T LEAVE YOU NO

1213
00:37:55,073 --> 00:37:57,352
♪ FIVE, I WANT TO KISS YOU ♪
♪ SIX, I WON'T LEAVE YOU NO
MORE ♪

1214
00:37:57,376 --> 00:38:00,588
♪ SIX, I WON'T LEAVE YOU NO
MORE ♪
♪ AND, DARLIN', SIX, I WON'T

1215
00:38:00,612 --> 00:38:04,359
MORE ♪
♪ AND, DARLIN', SIX, I WON'T
LEAVE YOU NO MORE ♪

1216
00:38:04,383 --> 00:38:08,663
♪ AND, DARLIN', SIX, I WON'T
LEAVE YOU NO MORE ♪
♪ DARLIN', SIX, I WON'T LEAVE

1217
00:38:08,687 --> 00:38:14,869
LEAVE YOU NO MORE ♪
♪ DARLIN', SIX, I WON'T LEAVE
YOU NO MORE ♪

1218
00:38:14,893 --> 00:38:17,360
♪ DARLIN', SIX, I WON'T LEAVE
YOU NO MORE ♪
[APPLAUSE]

1219
00:38:25,135 --> 00:38:29,284
AND NOW, LADIES AND
GENTLEMEN, I'D LIKE TO INTRODUCE
TWO VERY FUNNY MEN, THE COMEDY

1220
00:38:29,308 --> 00:38:31,586
GENTLEMEN, I'D LIKE TO INTRODUCE
TWO VERY FUNNY MEN, THE COMEDY
TEAM OF FRANKEN AND DAVIS.

1221
00:38:31,610 --> 00:38:38,125
TWO VERY FUNNY MEN, THE COMEDY
TEAM OF FRANKEN AND DAVIS.
[APPLAUSE]

1222
00:38:38,149 --> 00:38:39,594
TEAM OF FRANKEN AND DAVIS.
[APPLAUSE]
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

1223
00:38:39,618 --> 00:38:40,861
[APPLAUSE]
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
THANK YOU, SISSY.

1224
00:38:40,885 --> 00:38:42,764
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
THANK YOU, SISSY.
I UNDERSTAND YOU'RE GOING TO

1225
00:38:42,788 --> 00:38:44,365
THANK YOU, SISSY.
I UNDERSTAND YOU'RE GOING TO
IMPROVISE SOMETHING FOR US

1226
00:38:44,389 --> 00:38:45,032
I UNDERSTAND YOU'RE GOING TO
IMPROVISE SOMETHING FOR US
TONIGHT.

1227
00:38:45,056 --> 00:38:46,467
IMPROVISE SOMETHING FOR US
TONIGHT.
WELL, THAT'S RIGHT, SISSY.

1228
00:38:46,491 --> 00:38:47,635
TONIGHT.
WELL, THAT'S RIGHT, SISSY.
WE'RE GOING TO TAKE TWO

1229
00:38:47,659 --> 00:38:48,903
WELL, THAT'S RIGHT, SISSY.
WE'RE GOING TO TAKE TWO
SUGGESTIONS FROM YOU, THE

1230
00:38:48,927 --> 00:38:49,504
WE'RE GOING TO TAKE TWO
SUGGESTIONS FROM YOU, THE
AUDIENCE.

1231
00:38:49,528 --> 00:38:50,738
SUGGESTIONS FROM YOU, THE
AUDIENCE.
WE'RE GOING TO CONFER, OR

1232
00:38:50,762 --> 00:38:52,173
AUDIENCE.
WE'RE GOING TO CONFER, OR
HUDDLE, FOR ABOUT 10 SECONDS,

1233
00:38:52,197 --> 00:38:53,641
WE'RE GOING TO CONFER, OR
HUDDLE, FOR ABOUT 10 SECONDS,
AND THEN WE'RE GONNA PERFORM A

1234
00:38:53,665 --> 00:38:55,209
HUDDLE, FOR ABOUT 10 SECONDS,
AND THEN WE'RE GONNA PERFORM A
SCENE BASED ON THOSE SUGGESTIONS

1235
00:38:55,233 --> 00:38:56,711
AND THEN WE'RE GONNA PERFORM A
SCENE BASED ON THOSE SUGGESTIONS
RIGHT OFF THE TOP OF OUR...

1236
00:38:56,735 --> 00:38:58,179
SCENE BASED ON THOSE SUGGESTIONS
RIGHT OFF THE TOP OF OUR...
RIGHT OFF THE TOP OF OUR...

1237
00:38:58,203 --> 00:38:58,646
RIGHT OFF THE TOP OF OUR...
RIGHT OFF THE TOP OF OUR...
HEADS.

1238
00:38:58,670 --> 00:39:00,080
RIGHT OFF THE TOP OF OUR...
HEADS.
IT SOUNDS REALLY EXCITING.

1239
00:39:00,104 --> 00:39:01,248
HEADS.
IT SOUNDS REALLY EXCITING.
TAKE IT AWAY.

1240
00:39:01,272 --> 00:39:03,050
IT SOUNDS REALLY EXCITING.
TAKE IT AWAY.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH, SISSY.

1241
00:39:03,074 --> 00:39:05,320
TAKE IT AWAY.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH, SISSY.
OKAY, EVERYONE, WE NEED THE

1242
00:39:05,344 --> 00:39:07,488
THANK YOU VERY MUCH, SISSY.
OKAY, EVERYONE, WE NEED THE
NAME OF A PLACE WHERE PEOPLE

1243
00:39:07,512 --> 00:39:08,122
OKAY, EVERYONE, WE NEED THE
NAME OF A PLACE WHERE PEOPLE
MEET.

1244
00:39:08,146 --> 00:39:09,089
NAME OF A PLACE WHERE PEOPLE
MEET.
PITTSBURGH!

1245
00:39:09,113 --> 00:39:10,124
MEET.
PITTSBURGH!
[AUDIENCE SHOUTING

1246
00:39:10,148 --> 00:39:10,858
PITTSBURGH!
[AUDIENCE SHOUTING
SUGGESTIONS]

1247
00:39:10,882 --> 00:39:12,827
[AUDIENCE SHOUTING
SUGGESTIONS]
ALL RIGHT, UH...

1248
00:39:12,851 --> 00:39:14,729
[SUGGESTIONS]
ALL RIGHT, UH...
A DOCTOR'S OFFICE.

1249
00:39:14,753 --> 00:39:16,230
ALL RIGHT, UH...
A DOCTOR'S OFFICE.
I HEARD THAT.

1250
00:39:16,254 --> 00:39:19,033
A DOCTOR'S OFFICE.
I HEARD THAT.
AND NOW WE NEED A PROFESSION.

1251
00:39:19,057 --> 00:39:20,435
I HEARD THAT.
AND NOW WE NEED A PROFESSION.
[AUDIENCE SHOUTING

1252
00:39:20,459 --> 00:39:21,769
AND NOW WE NEED A PROFESSION.
[AUDIENCE SHOUTING
SUGGESTIONS]

1253
00:39:21,793 --> 00:39:23,438
[AUDIENCE SHOUTING
SUGGESTIONS]
I HEARD METEOROLOGIST.

1254
00:39:23,462 --> 00:39:25,707
[SUGGESTIONS]
I HEARD METEOROLOGIST.
I HEARD METEOROLOGIST OVER HERE.

1255
00:39:25,731 --> 00:39:28,309
I HEARD METEOROLOGIST.
I HEARD METEOROLOGIST OVER HERE.
OKAY, WE GOT A METEOROLOGIST.

1256
00:39:28,333 --> 00:39:31,011
I HEARD METEOROLOGIST OVER HERE.
OKAY, WE GOT A METEOROLOGIST.
WE'VE GOT A DOCTOR'S OFFICE.

1257
00:39:31,035 --> 00:39:36,884
OKAY, WE GOT A METEOROLOGIST.
WE'VE GOT A DOCTOR'S OFFICE.
WE'LL SEE YOU IN 10 SECONDS.

1258
00:39:36,908 --> 00:39:37,885
WE'VE GOT A DOCTOR'S OFFICE.
WE'LL SEE YOU IN 10 SECONDS.
OKAY, LOOK, LOOK.

1259
00:39:37,909 --> 00:39:39,286
WE'LL SEE YOU IN 10 SECONDS.
OKAY, LOOK, LOOK.
LET'S DO THE GYNECOLOGIST

1260
00:39:39,310 --> 00:39:39,787
OKAY, LOOK, LOOK.
LET'S DO THE GYNECOLOGIST
PIECE.

1261
00:39:39,811 --> 00:39:41,222
LET'S DO THE GYNECOLOGIST
PIECE.
NO, WE NEED A GIRL TO DO

1262
00:39:41,246 --> 00:39:41,689
PIECE.
NO, WE NEED A GIRL TO DO
THAT.

1263
00:39:41,713 --> 00:39:42,724
NO, WE NEED A GIRL TO DO
THAT.
OH, THAT'S RIGHT.

1264
00:39:42,748 --> 00:39:47,261
THAT.
OH, THAT'S RIGHT.
OKAY, OKAY.

1265
00:39:47,285 --> 00:39:48,996
OH, THAT'S RIGHT.
OKAY, OKAY.
MAYBE DO THE PIECE...

1266
00:39:49,020 --> 00:39:50,331
OKAY, OKAY.
MAYBE DO THE PIECE...
NO, NO, THEY MIGHT BE

1267
00:39:50,355 --> 00:39:51,432
MAYBE DO THE PIECE...
NO, NO, THEY MIGHT BE
WATCHING.

1268
00:39:51,456 --> 00:39:59,456
NO, NO, THEY MIGHT BE
WATCHING.
OKAY.

1269
00:40:00,866 --> 00:40:03,344
WATCHING.
OKAY.
UH, WE'RE SORRY, LADIES AND

1270
00:40:03,368 --> 00:40:05,813
OKAY.
UH, WE'RE SORRY, LADIES AND
GENTLEMEN, BUT WE COULDN'T THINK

1271
00:40:05,837 --> 00:40:06,947
UH, WE'RE SORRY, LADIES AND
GENTLEMEN, BUT WE COULDN'T THINK
OF ANYTHING.

1272
00:40:06,971 --> 00:40:09,283
GENTLEMEN, BUT WE COULDN'T THINK
OF ANYTHING.
MAYBE IF YOU JUST... SOME MORE

1273
00:40:09,307 --> 00:40:11,419
OF ANYTHING.
MAYBE IF YOU JUST... SOME MORE
SUGGESTIONS, JUST ANYTHING.

1274
00:40:11,443 --> 00:40:12,887
MAYBE IF YOU JUST... SOME MORE
SUGGESTIONS, JUST ANYTHING.
WORLD WAR III!

1275
00:40:12,911 --> 00:40:13,954
SUGGESTIONS, JUST ANYTHING.
WORLD WAR III!
WORLD WAR III.

1276
00:40:13,978 --> 00:40:14,989
WORLD WAR III!
WORLD WAR III.
WORLD WAR III.

1277
00:40:15,013 --> 00:40:16,624
WORLD WAR III.
WORLD WAR III.
OKAY, HOW ABOUT A NEWSCAST ON

1278
00:40:16,648 --> 00:40:17,958
WORLD WAR III.
OKAY, HOW ABOUT A NEWSCAST ON
THE NIGHT OF THE DAY OF

1279
00:40:17,982 --> 00:40:18,893
OKAY, HOW ABOUT A NEWSCAST ON
THE NIGHT OF THE DAY OF
WORLD WAR III?

1280
00:40:18,917 --> 00:40:20,461
THE NIGHT OF THE DAY OF
WORLD WAR III?
YEAH, WE'LL IMPROVISE IT.

1281
00:40:20,485 --> 00:40:21,529
WORLD WAR III?
YEAH, WE'LL IMPROVISE IT.
GOOD CALL.

1282
00:40:21,553 --> 00:40:23,398
YEAH, WE'LL IMPROVISE IT.
GOOD CALL.
OKAY.

1283
00:40:23,422 --> 00:40:26,834
GOOD CALL.
OKAY.
TRAGEDY, DEATH, CATASTROPHE

1284
00:40:26,858 --> 00:40:29,003
OKAY.
TRAGEDY, DEATH, CATASTROPHE
HIGHLIGHT TONIGHT'S NEWS AFTER

1285
00:40:29,027 --> 00:40:30,104
TRAGEDY, DEATH, CATASTROPHE
HIGHLIGHT TONIGHT'S NEWS AFTER
THIS MESSAGE.

1286
00:40:30,128 --> 00:40:31,706
HIGHLIGHT TONIGHT'S NEWS AFTER
THIS MESSAGE.
TONIGHT'S NEWS IS BROUGHT TO

1287
00:40:31,730 --> 00:40:33,207
THIS MESSAGE.
TONIGHT'S NEWS IS BROUGHT TO
YOU BY THE MAKERS OF JIM CROW

1288
00:40:33,231 --> 00:40:35,543
TONIGHT'S NEWS IS BROUGHT TO
YOU BY THE MAKERS OF JIM CROW
RICE... REMEMBER, EVERY GRAIN IS

1289
00:40:35,567 --> 00:40:37,845
YOU BY THE MAKERS OF JIM CROW
RICE... REMEMBER, EVERY GRAIN IS
SEPARATE BUT EQUAL AND, MMM, SO

1290
00:40:37,869 --> 00:40:39,380
RICE... REMEMBER, EVERY GRAIN IS
SEPARATE BUT EQUAL AND, MMM, SO
GOOD.

1291
00:40:39,404 --> 00:40:41,115
SEPARATE BUT EQUAL AND, MMM, SO
GOOD.
GOOD EVENING, THIS IS

1292
00:40:41,139 --> 00:40:43,217
GOOD.
GOOD EVENING, THIS IS
RONALD BROOKS SUBSTITUTING FOR

1293
00:40:43,241 --> 00:40:45,052
GOOD EVENING, THIS IS
RONALD BROOKS SUBSTITUTING FOR
THE DECEASED RAY THOMPSON.

1294
00:40:45,076 --> 00:40:46,921
RONALD BROOKS SUBSTITUTING FOR
THE DECEASED RAY THOMPSON.
YES, TODAY, IT HAPPENED...

1295
00:40:46,945 --> 00:40:48,055
THE DECEASED RAY THOMPSON.
YES, TODAY, IT HAPPENED...
WORLD WAR III.

1296
00:40:48,079 --> 00:40:49,791
YES, TODAY, IT HAPPENED...
WORLD WAR III.
ACCORDING TO WHITE HOUSE

1297
00:40:49,815 --> 00:40:51,893
WORLD WAR III.
ACCORDING TO WHITE HOUSE
SOURCES, THE WAR WAS INITIATED

1298
00:40:51,917 --> 00:40:53,127
ACCORDING TO WHITE HOUSE
SOURCES, THE WAR WAS INITIATED
BY MISTAKE.

1299
00:40:53,151 --> 00:40:55,996
SOURCES, THE WAR WAS INITIATED
BY MISTAKE.
PRESIDENT CARTER SAID, "GEE, I'M

1300
00:40:56,020 --> 00:40:56,864
BY MISTAKE.
PRESIDENT CARTER SAID, "GEE, I'M
SORRY.

1301
00:40:56,888 --> 00:40:59,934
PRESIDENT CARTER SAID, "GEE, I'M
SORRY.
I'M AWFULLY SORRY."

1302
00:40:59,958 --> 00:41:02,069
SORRY.
I'M AWFULLY SORRY."
AND WITH 80% OF THE BOMBS IN,

1303
00:41:02,093 --> 00:41:04,138
I'M AWFULLY SORRY."
AND WITH 80% OF THE BOMBS IN,
WOMV COMPUTER ANALYSIS SHOWS

1304
00:41:04,162 --> 00:41:06,340
AND WITH 80% OF THE BOMBS IN,
WOMV COMPUTER ANALYSIS SHOWS
THAT THE UNITED STATES HAS WON

1305
00:41:06,364 --> 00:41:07,241
WOMV COMPUTER ANALYSIS SHOWS
THAT THE UNITED STATES HAS WON
THE WAR.

1306
00:41:07,265 --> 00:41:08,476
THAT THE UNITED STATES HAS WON
THE WAR.
YES, ACCORDING TO OUR COMPUTERS,

1307
00:41:08,500 --> 00:41:10,812
THE WAR.
YES, ACCORDING TO OUR COMPUTERS,
ONLY 85 MILLION AMERICANS WILL

1308
00:41:10,836 --> 00:41:12,279
YES, ACCORDING TO OUR COMPUTERS,
ONLY 85 MILLION AMERICANS WILL
HAVE DIED, AS COMPARED TO OVER

1309
00:41:12,303 --> 00:41:14,849
ONLY 85 MILLION AMERICANS WILL
HAVE DIED, AS COMPARED TO OVER
155 MILLION RUSSIANS AND A

1310
00:41:14,873 --> 00:41:20,154
HAVE DIED, AS COMPARED TO OVER
155 MILLION RUSSIANS AND A
WHOPPING 575 MILLION CHINESE.

1311
00:41:20,178 --> 00:41:22,824
155 MILLION RUSSIANS AND A
WHOPPING 575 MILLION CHINESE.
AND NOW, WITH THE WEATHER, OUR

1312
00:41:22,848 --> 00:41:24,325
WHOPPING 575 MILLION CHINESE.
AND NOW, WITH THE WEATHER, OUR
OWN BILL CORRY.

1313
00:41:24,349 --> 00:41:25,092
AND NOW, WITH THE WEATHER, OUR
OWN BILL CORRY.
BILL?

1314
00:41:25,116 --> 00:41:26,393
OWN BILL CORRY.
BILL?
WELL, HI.

1315
00:41:26,417 --> 00:41:27,829
BILL?
WELL, HI.
TEMPERATURES UP TO 8,000

1316
00:41:27,853 --> 00:41:29,864
WELL, HI.
TEMPERATURES UP TO 8,000
DEGREES IN NEW YORK TONIGHT.

1317
00:41:29,888 --> 00:41:31,165
TEMPERATURES UP TO 8,000
DEGREES IN NEW YORK TONIGHT.
COOLING OFF TOMORROW TO AN

1318
00:41:31,189 --> 00:41:32,700
DEGREES IN NEW YORK TONIGHT.
COOLING OFF TOMORROW TO AN
UNINHABITABLE 450 DEGREES, SO IF

1319
00:41:32,724 --> 00:41:34,168
COOLING OFF TOMORROW TO AN
UNINHABITABLE 450 DEGREES, SO IF
YOU'RE STILL PLANNING A WEEKEND

1320
00:41:34,192 --> 00:41:35,470
UNINHABITABLE 450 DEGREES, SO IF
YOU'RE STILL PLANNING A WEEKEND
OUTING, YOU BETTER WEAR AN

1321
00:41:35,494 --> 00:41:37,237
YOU'RE STILL PLANNING A WEEKEND
OUTING, YOU BETTER WEAR AN
ASBESTOS SUIT.

1322
00:41:37,261 --> 00:41:38,873
OUTING, YOU BETTER WEAR AN
ASBESTOS SUIT.
WELL, THE POLAR ICE CAPS HAVE

1323
00:41:38,897 --> 00:41:40,475
ASBESTOS SUIT.
WELL, THE POLAR ICE CAPS HAVE
MELTED, AND BOTH THE EAST AND

1324
00:41:40,499 --> 00:41:41,876
WELL, THE POLAR ICE CAPS HAVE
MELTED, AND BOTH THE EAST AND
THE WEST COAST SHOULD BE

1325
00:41:41,900 --> 00:41:43,210
MELTED, AND BOTH THE EAST AND
THE WEST COAST SHOULD BE
CONSUMED BY TIDAL WAVES

1326
00:41:43,234 --> 00:41:43,878
THE WEST COAST SHOULD BE
CONSUMED BY TIDAL WAVES
TOMORROW.

1327
00:41:43,902 --> 00:41:45,546
CONSUMED BY TIDAL WAVES
TOMORROW.
SO IF THERE ARE ANY SURFERS ON

1328
00:41:45,570 --> 00:41:47,314
TOMORROW.
SO IF THERE ARE ANY SURFERS ON
LONG ISLAND, YOU CAN EXPECT SOME

1329
00:41:47,338 --> 00:41:48,749
SO IF THERE ARE ANY SURFERS ON
LONG ISLAND, YOU CAN EXPECT SOME
SWELLS OF UP TO 800 FEET.

1330
00:41:48,773 --> 00:41:50,518
LONG ISLAND, YOU CAN EXPECT SOME
SWELLS OF UP TO 800 FEET.
WELL, THAT'S THE WEATHER OUTLOOK

1331
00:41:50,542 --> 00:41:51,251
SWELLS OF UP TO 800 FEET.
WELL, THAT'S THE WEATHER OUTLOOK
FOR TODAY.

1332
00:41:51,275 --> 00:41:51,819
WELL, THAT'S THE WEATHER OUTLOOK
FOR TODAY.
RONALD?

1333
00:41:51,843 --> 00:41:54,321
FOR TODAY.
RONALD?
WHY, THANKS, BILL.

1334
00:41:54,345 --> 00:41:57,859
RONALD?
WHY, THANKS, BILL.
THE STOCK MARKET CLOSED TODAY...

1335
00:41:57,883 --> 00:42:00,595
WHY, THANKS, BILL.
THE STOCK MARKET CLOSED TODAY...
FOR GOOD.

1336
00:42:00,619 --> 00:42:03,130
THE STOCK MARKET CLOSED TODAY...
FOR GOOD.
AND NOW WITH THE SPORTS, OUR OWN

1337
00:42:03,154 --> 00:42:04,499
FOR GOOD.
AND NOW WITH THE SPORTS, OUR OWN
BARNEY JOHNSON.

1338
00:42:04,523 --> 00:42:05,165
AND NOW WITH THE SPORTS, OUR OWN
BARNEY JOHNSON.
BARN?

1339
00:42:05,189 --> 00:42:06,701
BARNEY JOHNSON.
BARN?
THANK YOU, RONALD.

1340
00:42:06,725 --> 00:42:08,536
BARN?
THANK YOU, RONALD.
GOOD EVENING, SPORTS FANS.

1341
00:42:08,560 --> 00:42:10,471
THANK YOU, RONALD.
GOOD EVENING, SPORTS FANS.
BOBBY ORR FRIED TODAY AT HIS

1342
00:42:10,495 --> 00:42:11,706
GOOD EVENING, SPORTS FANS.
BOBBY ORR FRIED TODAY AT HIS
HOME IN TORONTO.

1343
00:42:11,730 --> 00:42:12,940
BOBBY ORR FRIED TODAY AT HIS
HOME IN TORONTO.
WELL, THE ENTIRE

1344
00:42:12,964 --> 00:42:15,009
HOME IN TORONTO.
WELL, THE ENTIRE
NEW YORK YANKEES BASEBALL TEAM

1345
00:42:15,033 --> 00:42:16,511
WELL, THE ENTIRE
NEW YORK YANKEES BASEBALL TEAM
PERISHED IN A FIRESTORM DURING

1346
00:42:16,535 --> 00:42:18,078
NEW YORK YANKEES BASEBALL TEAM
PERISHED IN A FIRESTORM DURING
PRACTICE AT THEIR FT. LAUDERDALE

1347
00:42:18,102 --> 00:42:19,680
PERISHED IN A FIRESTORM DURING
PRACTICE AT THEIR FT. LAUDERDALE
SPRING TRAINING CAMP... BAD NEWS

1348
00:42:19,704 --> 00:42:22,049
PRACTICE AT THEIR FT. LAUDERDALE
SPRING TRAINING CAMP... BAD NEWS
FOR YOU SEASON TICKET HOLDERS.

1349
00:42:22,073 --> 00:42:23,651
SPRING TRAINING CAMP... BAD NEWS
FOR YOU SEASON TICKET HOLDERS.
THAT'S THE SPORTS SCENE FOR

1350
00:42:23,675 --> 00:42:24,284
FOR YOU SEASON TICKET HOLDERS.
THAT'S THE SPORTS SCENE FOR
TONIGHT.

1351
00:42:24,308 --> 00:42:24,886
THAT'S THE SPORTS SCENE FOR
TONIGHT.
RONALD?

1352
00:42:24,910 --> 00:42:27,187
TONIGHT.
RONALD?
WHY, THANKS, BARN.

1353
00:42:27,211 --> 00:42:28,689
RONALD?
WHY, THANKS, BARN.
AND THAT'S THE WAY THE WORLD

1354
00:42:28,713 --> 00:42:29,089
WHY, THANKS, BARN.
AND THAT'S THE WAY THE WORLD
WAS.

1355
00:42:29,113 --> 00:42:30,558
AND THAT'S THE WAY THE WORLD
WAS.
AND THIS IS RONALD BROOKS...

1356
00:42:30,582 --> 00:42:31,792
WAS.
AND THIS IS RONALD BROOKS...
AND BARNEY JOHNSON...

1357
00:42:31,816 --> 00:42:33,127
AND THIS IS RONALD BROOKS...
AND BARNEY JOHNSON...
SAYING THAT THIS IS

1358
00:42:33,151 --> 00:42:34,061
AND BARNEY JOHNSON...
SAYING THAT THIS IS
RONALD BROOKS...

1359
00:42:34,085 --> 00:42:35,295
SAYING THAT THIS IS
RONALD BROOKS...
AND BARNEY JOHNSON...

1360
00:42:35,319 --> 00:42:36,597
RONALD BROOKS...
AND BARNEY JOHNSON...
SAYING GOOD NIGHT.

1361
00:42:36,621 --> 00:42:37,498
AND BARNEY JOHNSON...
SAYING GOOD NIGHT.
GOOD NIGHT.

1362
00:42:37,522 --> 00:42:38,533
SAYING GOOD NIGHT.
GOOD NIGHT.
THANK YOU.

1363
00:42:38,557 --> 00:42:41,290
GOOD NIGHT.
THANK YOU.
[APPLAUSE]

1364
00:42:51,969 --> 00:42:58,519
BAD DOLLY!
BAD DOLLY!
DON'T HURT DOLLY!

1365
00:42:58,543 --> 00:42:59,954
BAD DOLLY!
DON'T HURT DOLLY!
DON'T HURT DOLLY.

1366
00:42:59,978 --> 00:43:01,188
DON'T HURT DOLLY!
DON'T HURT DOLLY.
SHE'S SO CUTE.

1367
00:43:01,212 --> 00:43:03,223
DON'T HURT DOLLY.
SHE'S SO CUTE.
BAD DOLLY WEE-WEE ALL OVER

1368
00:43:03,247 --> 00:43:04,324
SHE'S SO CUTE.
BAD DOLLY WEE-WEE ALL OVER
PRETTY DRESS.

1369
00:43:04,348 --> 00:43:06,360
BAD DOLLY WEE-WEE ALL OVER
PRETTY DRESS.
OH, BOOTSIE, HAVE TO MAKE

1370
00:43:06,384 --> 00:43:08,996
PRETTY DRESS.
OH, BOOTSIE, HAVE TO MAKE
TINKIE, TOO, IN PEE-PEE POTTY.

1371
00:43:09,020 --> 00:43:10,230
OH, BOOTSIE, HAVE TO MAKE
TINKIE, TOO, IN PEE-PEE POTTY.
HELLO, LUFFIE.

1372
00:43:10,254 --> 00:43:11,365
TINKIE, TOO, IN PEE-PEE POTTY.
HELLO, LUFFIE.
HELLO, BOOTSIE.

1373
00:43:11,389 --> 00:43:13,067
HELLO, LUFFIE.
HELLO, BOOTSIE.
BINKIE NEEDS TO GO TO THE

1374
00:43:13,091 --> 00:43:14,902
HELLO, BOOTSIE.
BINKIE NEEDS TO GO TO THE
LITTLE GIRLS' ROOM EVER SO

1375
00:43:14,926 --> 00:43:17,204
BINKIE NEEDS TO GO TO THE
LITTLE GIRLS' ROOM EVER SO
BADLY.

1376
00:43:17,228 --> 00:43:19,206
LITTLE GIRLS' ROOM EVER SO
BADLY.
PLAY WITH YOUR NOSE.

1377
00:43:19,230 --> 00:43:21,008
BADLY.
PLAY WITH YOUR NOSE.
WHAT DO THESE THREE

1378
00:43:21,032 --> 00:43:23,444
PLAY WITH YOUR NOSE.
WHAT DO THESE THREE
EXTREMELY OBNOXIOUS GROWN WOMEN

1379
00:43:23,468 --> 00:43:25,512
WHAT DO THESE THREE
EXTREMELY OBNOXIOUS GROWN WOMEN
HAVE IN COMMON?

1380
00:43:25,536 --> 00:43:27,815
EXTREMELY OBNOXIOUS GROWN WOMEN
HAVE IN COMMON?
THEY ARE ALL VICTIMS OF GIDGET'S

1381
00:43:27,839 --> 00:43:28,616
HAVE IN COMMON?
THEY ARE ALL VICTIMS OF GIDGET'S
DISEASE.

1382
00:43:28,640 --> 00:43:30,417
THEY ARE ALL VICTIMS OF GIDGET'S
DISEASE.
IN OTHER WORDS, THEY ARE

1383
00:43:30,441 --> 00:43:32,519
DISEASE.
IN OTHER WORDS, THEY ARE
TERMINALLY CUTE, TOO CUTE FOR

1384
00:43:32,543 --> 00:43:33,754
IN OTHER WORDS, THEY ARE
TERMINALLY CUTE, TOO CUTE FOR
THEIR OWN GOOD.

1385
00:43:33,778 --> 00:43:40,260
TERMINALLY CUTE, TOO CUTE FOR
THEIR OWN GOOD.
LET'S TAKE A CLOSER LOOK.

1386
00:43:40,284 --> 00:43:42,730
THEIR OWN GOOD.
LET'S TAKE A CLOSER LOOK.
♪ I'M A LITTLE TEAPOT, SHORT

1387
00:43:42,754 --> 00:43:43,898
LET'S TAKE A CLOSER LOOK.
♪ I'M A LITTLE TEAPOT, SHORT
AND STOUT ♪

1388
00:43:43,922 --> 00:43:46,067
♪ I'M A LITTLE TEAPOT, SHORT
AND STOUT ♪
♪ HERE IS MY HANDLE ♪

1389
00:43:46,091 --> 00:43:49,236
AND STOUT ♪
♪ HERE IS MY HANDLE ♪
♪ HERE IS MY... HANDLE ♪

1390
00:43:49,260 --> 00:43:52,640
♪ HERE IS MY HANDLE ♪
♪ HERE IS MY... HANDLE ♪
GOLLY, I'M A SUGAR BOWL.

1391
00:43:52,664 --> 00:43:54,942
♪ HERE IS MY... HANDLE ♪
GOLLY, I'M A SUGAR BOWL.
PLEASE, JUDGE, DON'T SEND

1392
00:43:54,966 --> 00:43:57,444
GOLLY, I'M A SUGAR BOWL.
PLEASE, JUDGE, DON'T SEND
GRAMPS TO JAIL, OR I'LL BE EVER

1393
00:43:57,468 --> 00:43:59,413
PLEASE, JUDGE, DON'T SEND
GRAMPS TO JAIL, OR I'LL BE EVER
SO CROSS WITH YOU.

1394
00:43:59,437 --> 00:44:01,515
GRAMPS TO JAIL, OR I'LL BE EVER
SO CROSS WITH YOU.
I KNOW! WE'RE SHOWFOLK!

1395
00:44:01,539 --> 00:44:03,117
SO CROSS WITH YOU.
I KNOW! WE'RE SHOWFOLK!
WE'LL PUT ON A SHOW FOR YOU.

1396
00:44:03,141 --> 00:44:04,885
I KNOW! WE'RE SHOWFOLK!
WE'LL PUT ON A SHOW FOR YOU.
WE GOT COSTUMES IN THE BARN, AND

1397
00:44:04,909 --> 00:44:08,990
WE'LL PUT ON A SHOW FOR YOU.
WE GOT COSTUMES IN THE BARN, AND
MY DAD KNOWS MUSIC.

1398
00:44:09,014 --> 00:44:13,193
WE GOT COSTUMES IN THE BARN, AND
MY DAD KNOWS MUSIC.
MR. ANIMAL SLIPPER...

1399
00:44:13,217 --> 00:44:17,064
MY DAD KNOWS MUSIC.
MR. ANIMAL SLIPPER...
GUESS WHO'S COMING TO SEE YOU.

1400
00:44:17,088 --> 00:44:20,835
MR. ANIMAL SLIPPER...
GUESS WHO'S COMING TO SEE YOU.
MR. TEDDY BEAR PURSE!

1401
00:44:20,859 --> 00:44:23,437
GUESS WHO'S COMING TO SEE YOU.
MR. TEDDY BEAR PURSE!
HELLO, MR. TEDDY BEAR PURSE.

1402
00:44:23,461 --> 00:44:25,740
MR. TEDDY BEAR PURSE!
HELLO, MR. TEDDY BEAR PURSE.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

1403
00:44:25,764 --> 00:44:28,509
HELLO, MR. TEDDY BEAR PURSE.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
OH, I BROUGHT YOU SOME YUM-YUM

1404
00:44:28,533 --> 00:44:30,077
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
OH, I BROUGHT YOU SOME YUM-YUM
FOR YOUR TUMMY.

1405
00:44:30,101 --> 00:44:34,015
OH, I BROUGHT YOU SOME YUM-YUM
FOR YOUR TUMMY.
OH! NUMMY, NUMMY, NUMMY, NUMMY!

1406
00:44:34,039 --> 00:44:35,449
FOR YOUR TUMMY.
OH! NUMMY, NUMMY, NUMMY, NUMMY!
[SMOOCHES]

1407
00:44:35,473 --> 00:44:36,450
OH! NUMMY, NUMMY, NUMMY, NUMMY!
[SMOOCHES]
REALLY ENOUGH TO MAKE YOU

1408
00:44:36,474 --> 00:44:40,821
[SMOOCHES]
REALLY ENOUGH TO MAKE YOU
WANT TO PUKE YOUR GUTS OUT.

1409
00:44:40,845 --> 00:44:43,190
REALLY ENOUGH TO MAKE YOU
WANT TO PUKE YOUR GUTS OUT.
THERE IS HELP FOR THESE WOMEN.

1410
00:44:43,214 --> 00:44:45,726
WANT TO PUKE YOUR GUTS OUT.
THERE IS HELP FOR THESE WOMEN.
THEY AND OTHERS LIKE THEM CAN BE

1411
00:44:45,750 --> 00:44:47,427
THERE IS HELP FOR THESE WOMEN.
THEY AND OTHERS LIKE THEM CAN BE
CURED OF GIDGET'S DISEASE BY

1412
00:44:47,451 --> 00:44:48,896
THEY AND OTHERS LIKE THEM CAN BE
CURED OF GIDGET'S DISEASE BY
BEING FORCED TO UNDERGO

1413
00:44:48,920 --> 00:44:50,597
CURED OF GIDGET'S DISEASE BY
BEING FORCED TO UNDERGO
POINTLESS ROOT-CANAL WORK IN

1414
00:44:50,621 --> 00:44:52,466
BEING FORCED TO UNDERGO
POINTLESS ROOT-CANAL WORK IN
WHAT WE LIKE TO CALL THE DENTAL

1415
00:44:52,490 --> 00:44:54,568
POINTLESS ROOT-CANAL WORK IN
WHAT WE LIKE TO CALL THE DENTAL
THEATER OF CRUELTY.

1416
00:44:54,592 --> 00:44:56,470
WHAT WE LIKE TO CALL THE DENTAL
THEATER OF CRUELTY.
I KNOW, BECAUSE I WAS ONE OF

1417
00:44:56,494 --> 00:44:57,437
THEATER OF CRUELTY.
I KNOW, BECAUSE I WAS ONE OF
THEM.

1418
00:44:57,461 --> 00:44:59,306
I KNOW, BECAUSE I WAS ONE OF
THEM.
BUT I WAS LUCKY.

1419
00:44:59,330 --> 00:45:00,507
THEM.
BUT I WAS LUCKY.
THESE WOMEN MIGHT NOT BE SO

1420
00:45:00,531 --> 00:45:01,241
BUT I WAS LUCKY.
THESE WOMEN MIGHT NOT BE SO
LUCKY.

1421
00:45:01,265 --> 00:45:03,443
THESE WOMEN MIGHT NOT BE SO
LUCKY.
HERE, MR. TEDDY BEAR PURSE!

1422
00:45:03,467 --> 00:45:06,814
LUCKY.
HERE, MR. TEDDY BEAR PURSE!
[SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]

1423
00:45:06,838 --> 00:45:08,182
HERE, MR. TEDDY BEAR PURSE!
[SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]
WE NEED YOUR HELP.

1424
00:45:08,206 --> 00:45:14,922
[SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]
WE NEED YOUR HELP.
SEND YOUR DOLLARS TO...

1425
00:45:14,946 --> 00:45:17,106
WE NEED YOUR HELP.
SEND YOUR DOLLARS TO...
[APPLAUSE]

1426
00:45:32,495 --> 00:45:35,876
[Southern accent] WELL, HOW
DO YOU THINK I FEEL?
TWO WHOLE WEEKS, WE'VE BEEN

1427
00:45:35,900 --> 00:45:38,012
DO YOU THINK I FEEL?
TWO WHOLE WEEKS, WE'VE BEEN
MARRIED... I'M STILL THE SAME

1428
00:45:38,036 --> 00:45:40,247
TWO WHOLE WEEKS, WE'VE BEEN
MARRIED... I'M STILL THE SAME
GIRL I WAS ON MY WEDDING NIGHT.

1429
00:45:40,271 --> 00:45:42,449
MARRIED... I'M STILL THE SAME
GIRL I WAS ON MY WEDDING NIGHT.
WHERE'S MY CHERRY SLUSH?!

1430
00:45:42,473 --> 00:45:44,318
GIRL I WAS ON MY WEDDING NIGHT.
WHERE'S MY CHERRY SLUSH?!
AND I WAS LYING UNDER YOU

1431
00:45:44,342 --> 00:45:46,187
WHERE'S MY CHERRY SLUSH?!
AND I WAS LYING UNDER YOU
TONIGHT, NEVER ONCE THINKING

1432
00:45:46,211 --> 00:45:48,089
AND I WAS LYING UNDER YOU
TONIGHT, NEVER ONCE THINKING
YOU'D FIND YOUR MANLY POWERS.

1433
00:45:48,113 --> 00:45:49,724
TONIGHT, NEVER ONCE THINKING
YOU'D FIND YOUR MANLY POWERS.
NOT MORE THAN TWO HOURS AGO,

1434
00:45:49,748 --> 00:45:51,258
YOU'D FIND YOUR MANLY POWERS.
NOT MORE THAN TWO HOURS AGO,
I BOUGHT A CHERRY SLUSH FROM

1435
00:45:51,282 --> 00:45:51,892
NOT MORE THAN TWO HOURS AGO,
I BOUGHT A CHERRY SLUSH FROM
7-ELEVEN.

1436
00:45:51,916 --> 00:45:53,194
I BOUGHT A CHERRY SLUSH FROM
7-ELEVEN.
NOW, WHERE IS IT?!

1437
00:45:53,218 --> 00:45:55,596
7-ELEVEN.
NOW, WHERE IS IT?!
BEHIND THE VELVEETA.

1438
00:45:55,620 --> 00:45:57,297
NOW, WHERE IS IT?!
BEHIND THE VELVEETA.
I WAS LYING UNDER YOU, THINKING

1439
00:45:57,321 --> 00:45:58,966
BEHIND THE VELVEETA.
I WAS LYING UNDER YOU, THINKING
ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE, JUST LIKE

1440
00:45:58,990 --> 00:45:59,767
I WAS LYING UNDER YOU, THINKING
ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE, JUST LIKE
YOU TOLD ME.

1441
00:45:59,791 --> 00:46:02,069
ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE, JUST LIKE
YOU TOLD ME.
NOW, WHERE IS THE FOAM?

1442
00:46:02,093 --> 00:46:04,404
YOU TOLD ME.
NOW, WHERE IS THE FOAM?
WHERE'S THE DAMN FOAM?!

1443
00:46:04,428 --> 00:46:05,873
NOW, WHERE IS THE FOAM?
WHERE'S THE DAMN FOAM?!
I WAS THINKING ABOUT THE

1444
00:46:05,897 --> 00:46:07,374
WHERE'S THE DAMN FOAM?!
I WAS THINKING ABOUT THE
NOISE THAT WASHING MACHINES

1445
00:46:07,398 --> 00:46:07,842
I WAS THINKING ABOUT THE
NOISE THAT WASHING MACHINES
MAKE.

1446
00:46:07,866 --> 00:46:09,443
NOISE THAT WASHING MACHINES
MAKE.
WELL, I DIDN'T PAY 45 CENTS

1447
00:46:09,467 --> 00:46:11,112
MAKE.
WELL, I DIDN'T PAY 45 CENTS
FOR TWO HOURS OF LOUSY FOAM!

1448
00:46:11,136 --> 00:46:12,880
WELL, I DIDN'T PAY 45 CENTS
FOR TWO HOURS OF LOUSY FOAM!
WHEN THAT DIDN'T WORK, THAT

1449
00:46:12,904 --> 00:46:14,681
FOR TWO HOURS OF LOUSY FOAM!
WHEN THAT DIDN'T WORK, THAT
DIDN'T HELP YOU FIND YOUR MANLY

1450
00:46:14,705 --> 00:46:16,717
WHEN THAT DIDN'T WORK, THAT
DIDN'T HELP YOU FIND YOUR MANLY
POWERS, I STARTED THINKING ABOUT

1451
00:46:16,741 --> 00:46:18,886
DIDN'T HELP YOU FIND YOUR MANLY
POWERS, I STARTED THINKING ABOUT
DEAD PEOPLE AND IF DEAD PEOPLE

1452
00:46:18,910 --> 00:46:21,122
POWERS, I STARTED THINKING ABOUT
DEAD PEOPLE AND IF DEAD PEOPLE
SECRETLY WATCH TO SEE IF YOU GO

1453
00:46:21,146 --> 00:46:22,723
DEAD PEOPLE AND IF DEAD PEOPLE
SECRETLY WATCH TO SEE IF YOU GO
TO THEIR FUNERAL.

1454
00:46:22,747 --> 00:46:24,725
SECRETLY WATCH TO SEE IF YOU GO
TO THEIR FUNERAL.
YOU LOOKING AT CERTAIN

1455
00:46:24,749 --> 00:46:27,394
TO THEIR FUNERAL.
YOU LOOKING AT CERTAIN
PARTS OF MY BODY AND YOU

1456
00:46:27,418 --> 00:46:30,064
YOU LOOKING AT CERTAIN
PARTS OF MY BODY AND YOU
THINKING THE WORD "DEAD"?

1457
00:46:30,088 --> 00:46:31,232
PARTS OF MY BODY AND YOU
THINKING THE WORD "DEAD"?
WELL, NO WONDER.

1458
00:46:31,256 --> 00:46:33,300
THINKING THE WORD "DEAD"?
WELL, NO WONDER.
IF YOU'RE WONDERING WHY THERE IS

1459
00:46:33,324 --> 00:46:35,136
WELL, NO WONDER.
IF YOU'RE WONDERING WHY THERE IS
NO WONDER, WELL, THERE IS NO

1460
00:46:35,160 --> 00:46:38,305
IF YOU'RE WONDERING WHY THERE IS
NO WONDER, WELL, THERE IS NO
WONDER.

1461
00:46:38,329 --> 00:46:40,507
NO WONDER, WELL, THERE IS NO
WONDER.
YOU KNOW, I HAVE BEEN WITH, IF

1462
00:46:40,531 --> 00:46:42,276
WONDER.
YOU KNOW, I HAVE BEEN WITH, IF
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN, A

1463
00:46:42,300 --> 00:46:44,178
YOU KNOW, I HAVE BEEN WITH, IF
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN, A
SEMIPROFESSIONAL SINGER.

1464
00:46:44,202 --> 00:46:45,112
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN, A
SEMIPROFESSIONAL SINGER.
I KNOW.

1465
00:46:45,136 --> 00:46:47,248
SEMIPROFESSIONAL SINGER.
I KNOW.
I HAVE HAD ADULT RELATIONS

1466
00:46:47,272 --> 00:46:50,450
I KNOW.
I HAVE HAD ADULT RELATIONS
WITH A SEMIPROFESSIONAL SINGER.

1467
00:46:50,474 --> 00:46:51,618
I HAVE HAD ADULT RELATIONS
WITH A SEMIPROFESSIONAL SINGER.
I KNOW.

1468
00:46:51,642 --> 00:46:53,821
WITH A SEMIPROFESSIONAL SINGER.
I KNOW.
NOT TO MENTION MANY OTHERS,

1469
00:46:53,845 --> 00:46:55,823
I KNOW.
NOT TO MENTION MANY OTHERS,
NOT TO MENTION THE REST.

1470
00:46:55,847 --> 00:46:58,092
NOT TO MENTION MANY OTHERS,
NOT TO MENTION THE REST.
ONLY TO MENTION THE ONE THAT

1471
00:46:58,116 --> 00:47:00,594
NOT TO MENTION THE REST.
ONLY TO MENTION THE ONE THAT
PROVES TO A MAN WHO HAS BEEN TO

1472
00:47:00,618 --> 00:47:02,663
ONLY TO MENTION THE ONE THAT
PROVES TO A MAN WHO HAS BEEN TO
HOUSTON AND LEFT BEHIND A

1473
00:47:02,687 --> 00:47:04,865
PROVES TO A MAN WHO HAS BEEN TO
HOUSTON AND LEFT BEHIND A
SATISFIED SEMIPROFESSIONAL

1474
00:47:04,889 --> 00:47:05,866
HOUSTON AND LEFT BEHIND A
SATISFIED SEMIPROFESSIONAL
SINGER!

1475
00:47:05,890 --> 00:47:07,634
SATISFIED SEMIPROFESSIONAL
SINGER!
[Crying] I HAVE WORN EVERY

1476
00:47:07,658 --> 00:47:09,336
SINGER!
[Crying] I HAVE WORN EVERY
PIECE OF UNDERWEAR YOU'VE SENT

1477
00:47:09,360 --> 00:47:11,038
[Crying] I HAVE WORN EVERY
PIECE OF UNDERWEAR YOU'VE SENT
AWAY FOR FROM THE BACK OF THAT

1478
00:47:11,062 --> 00:47:11,738
PIECE OF UNDERWEAR YOU'VE SENT
AWAY FOR FROM THE BACK OF THAT
MAGAZINE!

1479
00:47:11,762 --> 00:47:13,340
AWAY FOR FROM THE BACK OF THAT
MAGAZINE!
IT'S NOT JUST A MATTER OF

1480
00:47:13,364 --> 00:47:16,110
MAGAZINE!
IT'S NOT JUST A MATTER OF
WEARING SEND-AWAY UNDERWEAR.

1481
00:47:16,134 --> 00:47:19,146
IT'S NOT JUST A MATTER OF
WEARING SEND-AWAY UNDERWEAR.
IT HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH YOU

1482
00:47:19,170 --> 00:47:21,682
WEARING SEND-AWAY UNDERWEAR.
IT HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH YOU
BEING 18 AND ME BEING 23,

1483
00:47:21,706 --> 00:47:24,384
IT HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH YOU
BEING 18 AND ME BEING 23,
WITH YOU COMING TO SEE THAT

1484
00:47:24,408 --> 00:47:27,888
BEING 18 AND ME BEING 23,
WITH YOU COMING TO SEE THAT
CERTAIN THRILL TO A MAN'S BODY.

1485
00:47:27,912 --> 00:47:29,990
WITH YOU COMING TO SEE THAT
CERTAIN THRILL TO A MAN'S BODY.
I SEE THAT CERTAIN THRILL.

1486
00:47:30,014 --> 00:47:32,226
CERTAIN THRILL TO A MAN'S BODY.
I SEE THAT CERTAIN THRILL.
YOU MAY NOT SEE I SEE IT, BUT I

1487
00:47:32,250 --> 00:47:33,760
I SEE THAT CERTAIN THRILL.
YOU MAY NOT SEE I SEE IT, BUT I
SEE IT.

1488
00:47:33,784 --> 00:47:36,330
YOU MAY NOT SEE I SEE IT, BUT I
SEE IT.
I SEE IT.

1489
00:47:36,354 --> 00:47:38,332
SEE IT.
I SEE IT.
AND I FELT IT TWO WEEKS AGO,

1490
00:47:38,356 --> 00:47:40,234
I SEE IT.
AND I FELT IT TWO WEEKS AGO,
STANDING IN THE FIRE HALL,

1491
00:47:40,258 --> 00:47:41,435
AND I FELT IT TWO WEEKS AGO,
STANDING IN THE FIRE HALL,
SAYING, "I DO."

1492
00:47:41,459 --> 00:47:42,769
STANDING IN THE FIRE HALL,
SAYING, "I DO."
I APOLOGIZED TO GOD UNDER MY

1493
00:47:42,793 --> 00:47:44,205
SAYING, "I DO."
I APOLOGIZED TO GOD UNDER MY
BREATH FOR SEEING THAT CERTAIN

1494
00:47:44,229 --> 00:47:45,639
I APOLOGIZED TO GOD UNDER MY
BREATH FOR SEEING THAT CERTAIN
THRILL RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF

1495
00:47:45,663 --> 00:47:50,610
BREATH FOR SEEING THAT CERTAIN
THRILL RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF
THE PREACHER.

1496
00:47:50,634 --> 00:47:53,247
THRILL RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF
THE PREACHER.
AND SPEAKING OF THE PREACHER,

1497
00:47:53,271 --> 00:47:55,615
THE PREACHER.
AND SPEAKING OF THE PREACHER,
WHAT'S HAPPENED IN THOSE TWO

1498
00:47:55,639 --> 00:47:56,416
AND SPEAKING OF THE PREACHER,
WHAT'S HAPPENED IN THOSE TWO
WEEKS?

1499
00:47:56,440 --> 00:47:57,684
WHAT'S HAPPENED IN THOSE TWO
WEEKS?
WELL, I'LL TELL YOU.

1500
00:47:57,708 --> 00:47:59,586
WEEKS?
WELL, I'LL TELL YOU.
AND IT STARTS WITH THIS BEING MY

1501
00:47:59,610 --> 00:48:01,388
WELL, I'LL TELL YOU.
AND IT STARTS WITH THIS BEING MY
HOME, AND IT DOESN'T FEEL LIKE

1502
00:48:01,412 --> 00:48:01,788
AND IT STARTS WITH THIS BEING MY
HOME, AND IT DOESN'T FEEL LIKE
IT.

1503
00:48:01,812 --> 00:48:03,523
HOME, AND IT DOESN'T FEEL LIKE
IT.
AND IT STARTS WITH YOU MAKING

1504
00:48:03,547 --> 00:48:04,758
IT.
AND IT STARTS WITH YOU MAKING
THAT NEW VEGETABLE.

1505
00:48:04,782 --> 00:48:06,293
AND IT STARTS WITH YOU MAKING
THAT NEW VEGETABLE.
BRUSSELS SPROUTS?

1506
00:48:06,317 --> 00:48:08,729
THAT NEW VEGETABLE.
BRUSSELS SPROUTS?
A NEW VEGETABLE!

1507
00:48:08,753 --> 00:48:10,331
BRUSSELS SPROUTS?
A NEW VEGETABLE!
I DON'T NEED A NEW VEGETABLE.

1508
00:48:10,355 --> 00:48:11,966
A NEW VEGETABLE!
I DON'T NEED A NEW VEGETABLE.
I HAVE TROUBLE ENOUGH WITH THE

1509
00:48:11,990 --> 00:48:13,901
I DON'T NEED A NEW VEGETABLE.
I HAVE TROUBLE ENOUGH WITH THE
OLD VEGETABLES WITHOUT YOU

1510
00:48:13,925 --> 00:48:15,970
I HAVE TROUBLE ENOUGH WITH THE
OLD VEGETABLES WITHOUT YOU
BRINGING IN A NEW VEGETABLE.

1511
00:48:15,994 --> 00:48:18,239
OLD VEGETABLES WITHOUT YOU
BRINGING IN A NEW VEGETABLE.
AND YOU ALWAYS IGNORING ME WHEN

1512
00:48:18,263 --> 00:48:20,307
BRINGING IN A NEW VEGETABLE.
AND YOU ALWAYS IGNORING ME WHEN
I ASK YOU TO BUY FRUIT SLAW.

1513
00:48:20,331 --> 00:48:22,176
AND YOU ALWAYS IGNORING ME WHEN
I ASK YOU TO BUY FRUIT SLAW.
YOU DIDN'T EXPLAIN IT!

1514
00:48:22,200 --> 00:48:23,344
I ASK YOU TO BUY FRUIT SLAW.
YOU DIDN'T EXPLAIN IT!
IT'S FRUIT SLAW.

1515
00:48:23,368 --> 00:48:24,979
YOU DIDN'T EXPLAIN IT!
IT'S FRUIT SLAW.
YOU BUY IT AT THE DAIRY CASE.

1516
00:48:25,003 --> 00:48:26,680
IT'S FRUIT SLAW.
YOU BUY IT AT THE DAIRY CASE.
IT COMES IN THE PLASTIC THING.

1517
00:48:26,704 --> 00:48:28,215
YOU BUY IT AT THE DAIRY CASE.
IT COMES IN THE PLASTIC THING.
IT'S LIKE COLESLAW, ONLY IT'S

1518
00:48:28,239 --> 00:48:29,049
IT COMES IN THE PLASTIC THING.
IT'S LIKE COLESLAW, ONLY IT'S
MADE OF FRUIT.

1519
00:48:29,073 --> 00:48:30,517
IT'S LIKE COLESLAW, ONLY IT'S
MADE OF FRUIT.
IT'S FRUIT SLAW! FRUIT SLAW!

1520
00:48:30,541 --> 00:48:32,152
MADE OF FRUIT.
IT'S FRUIT SLAW! FRUIT SLAW!
NOW, HOW MUCH MORE CAN A MAN SAY

1521
00:48:32,176 --> 00:48:34,221
IT'S FRUIT SLAW! FRUIT SLAW!
NOW, HOW MUCH MORE CAN A MAN SAY
ABOUT FRUIT SLAW?!

1522
00:48:34,245 --> 00:48:36,723
NOW, HOW MUCH MORE CAN A MAN SAY
ABOUT FRUIT SLAW?!
[Crying] I'M SORRY.

1523
00:48:36,747 --> 00:48:39,059
ABOUT FRUIT SLAW?!
[Crying] I'M SORRY.
AND YOU ALWAYS USING THE WORD

1524
00:48:39,083 --> 00:48:41,428
[Crying] I'M SORRY.
AND YOU ALWAYS USING THE WORD
"CASSEROLE" TO MEAN THE FOOD AND

1525
00:48:41,452 --> 00:48:43,264
AND YOU ALWAYS USING THE WORD
"CASSEROLE" TO MEAN THE FOOD AND
THE THING YOU PUT IT IN.

1526
00:48:43,288 --> 00:48:45,532
"CASSEROLE" TO MEAN THE FOOD AND
THE THING YOU PUT IT IN.
NOT TO MENTION YOU CHANGING THE

1527
00:48:45,556 --> 00:48:47,801
THE THING YOU PUT IT IN.
NOT TO MENTION YOU CHANGING THE
CHANNEL EVERY TIME I'M WATCHING

1528
00:48:47,825 --> 00:48:49,403
NOT TO MENTION YOU CHANGING THE
CHANNEL EVERY TIME I'M WATCHING
MY FAVORITE PROGRAM.

1529
00:48:49,427 --> 00:48:51,405
CHANNEL EVERY TIME I'M WATCHING
MY FAVORITE PROGRAM.
NOT TO MENTION THE BATHROOM.

1530
00:48:51,429 --> 00:48:53,307
MY FAVORITE PROGRAM.
NOT TO MENTION THE BATHROOM.
NO, ALL YOUR THINGS IN THE

1531
00:48:53,331 --> 00:48:54,141
NOT TO MENTION THE BATHROOM.
NO, ALL YOUR THINGS IN THE
BATHROOM.

1532
00:48:54,165 --> 00:48:56,343
NO, ALL YOUR THINGS IN THE
BATHROOM.
IT'S BEEN TWO WEEKS OF ME TRYING

1533
00:48:56,367 --> 00:48:58,279
BATHROOM.
IT'S BEEN TWO WEEKS OF ME TRYING
TO TAKE CARE OF MY BUSINESS,

1534
00:48:58,303 --> 00:49:00,480
IT'S BEEN TWO WEEKS OF ME TRYING
TO TAKE CARE OF MY BUSINESS,
AND EVERY TIME I SIT DOWN TO IT,

1535
00:49:00,504 --> 00:49:03,450
TO TAKE CARE OF MY BUSINESS,
AND EVERY TIME I SIT DOWN TO IT,
MY EYES COME SMACK AGAINST A

1536
00:49:03,474 --> 00:49:05,685
AND EVERY TIME I SIT DOWN TO IT,
MY EYES COME SMACK AGAINST A
BOTTLE OF MISS CLAIROL SPARKLING

1537
00:49:05,709 --> 00:49:07,721
MY EYES COME SMACK AGAINST A
BOTTLE OF MISS CLAIROL SPARKLING
CHERRY COLOR-NUMBER 101 FOR A

1538
00:49:07,745 --> 00:49:09,456
BOTTLE OF MISS CLAIROL SPARKLING
CHERRY COLOR-NUMBER 101 FOR A
NATURAL, LUSTROUS SHEEN,

1539
00:49:09,480 --> 00:49:10,958
CHERRY COLOR-NUMBER 101 FOR A
NATURAL, LUSTROUS SHEEN,
FULL-BODIED, GLOWING WITH

1540
00:49:10,982 --> 00:49:12,659
NATURAL, LUSTROUS SHEEN,
FULL-BODIED, GLOWING WITH
HIGHLIGHTS... I KNOW ALL THIS

1541
00:49:12,683 --> 00:49:14,461
FULL-BODIED, GLOWING WITH
HIGHLIGHTS... I KNOW ALL THIS
CRAP BY HEART FROM TWO WEEKS OF

1542
00:49:14,485 --> 00:49:15,262
HIGHLIGHTS... I KNOW ALL THIS
CRAP BY HEART FROM TWO WEEKS OF
READING IT.

1543
00:49:15,286 --> 00:49:16,363
CRAP BY HEART FROM TWO WEEKS OF
READING IT.
DO YOU UNDERSTAND?

1544
00:49:16,387 --> 00:49:18,165
READING IT.
DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
AND YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT ELSE I

1545
00:49:18,189 --> 00:49:20,134
DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
AND YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT ELSE I
KNOW?

1546
00:49:20,158 --> 00:49:21,701
AND YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT ELSE I
KNOW?
SUPER TAMPONS... YOU WANT TO

1547
00:49:21,725 --> 00:49:23,570
KNOW?
SUPER TAMPONS... YOU WANT TO
HEAR THAT?

1548
00:49:23,594 --> 00:49:25,306
SUPER TAMPONS... YOU WANT TO
HEAR THAT?
YOU'RE JUST SAYING ALL THESE

1549
00:49:25,330 --> 00:49:27,174
HEAR THAT?
YOU'RE JUST SAYING ALL THESE
THINGS TO HURT ME.

1550
00:49:27,198 --> 00:49:29,910
YOU'RE JUST SAYING ALL THESE
THINGS TO HURT ME.
NO, I'M NOT.

1551
00:49:29,934 --> 00:49:33,113
THINGS TO HURT ME.
NO, I'M NOT.
AND WHAT ABOUT YOU?!

1552
00:49:33,137 --> 00:49:34,949
NO, I'M NOT.
AND WHAT ABOUT YOU?!
HUNKERING AROUND THE HOUSE ALL

1553
00:49:34,973 --> 00:49:36,683
AND WHAT ABOUT YOU?!
HUNKERING AROUND THE HOUSE ALL
THE TIME, LOOKING IN ALL THE

1554
00:49:36,707 --> 00:49:38,618
HUNKERING AROUND THE HOUSE ALL
THE TIME, LOOKING IN ALL THE
CANDY JARS LIKE YOU'RE EXPECTING

1555
00:49:38,642 --> 00:49:40,454
THE TIME, LOOKING IN ALL THE
CANDY JARS LIKE YOU'RE EXPECTING
TO FIND CANDY IN THERE, EXCEPT

1556
00:49:40,478 --> 00:49:42,222
CANDY JARS LIKE YOU'RE EXPECTING
TO FIND CANDY IN THERE, EXCEPT
THIS YOUR HOUSE, AND YOU KNOW

1557
00:49:42,246 --> 00:49:44,158
TO FIND CANDY IN THERE, EXCEPT
THIS YOUR HOUSE, AND YOU KNOW
THERE AIN'T NOTHING IN THERE BUT

1558
00:49:44,182 --> 00:49:46,493
THIS YOUR HOUSE, AND YOU KNOW
THERE AIN'T NOTHING IN THERE BUT
SAFETY PINS AND RUBBER BANDS.

1559
00:49:46,517 --> 00:49:48,395
THERE AIN'T NOTHING IN THERE BUT
SAFETY PINS AND RUBBER BANDS.
AND YOU GIVING ME DIRTY LOOKS.

1560
00:49:48,419 --> 00:49:50,264
SAFETY PINS AND RUBBER BANDS.
AND YOU GIVING ME DIRTY LOOKS.
AND HOW ABOUT THE OTHER NIGHT

1561
00:49:50,288 --> 00:49:51,631
AND YOU GIVING ME DIRTY LOOKS.
AND HOW ABOUT THE OTHER NIGHT
WHEN YOU SHUSHED ME?

1562
00:49:51,655 --> 00:49:53,633
AND HOW ABOUT THE OTHER NIGHT
WHEN YOU SHUSHED ME?
YOU SHUSHED ME THREE TIMES WHEN

1563
00:49:53,657 --> 00:49:55,535
WHEN YOU SHUSHED ME?
YOU SHUSHED ME THREE TIMES WHEN
YOU WAS WATCHING LUCY ARNAZ ON

1564
00:49:55,559 --> 00:49:58,038
YOU SHUSHED ME THREE TIMES WHEN
YOU WAS WATCHING LUCY ARNAZ ON
"THE $20,000 PYRAMID."

1565
00:49:58,062 --> 00:49:59,506
YOU WAS WATCHING LUCY ARNAZ ON
"THE $20,000 PYRAMID."
AND EVERY NIGHT AT DINNER,

1566
00:49:59,530 --> 00:50:01,075
"THE $20,000 PYRAMID."
AND EVERY NIGHT AT DINNER,
YOU'RE ASKING ME IF I WANT MY

1567
00:50:01,099 --> 00:50:02,776
AND EVERY NIGHT AT DINNER,
YOU'RE ASKING ME IF I WANT MY
DESSERT, LIKE WE'RE BACK AT THE

1568
00:50:02,800 --> 00:50:04,044
YOU'RE ASKING ME IF I WANT MY
DESSERT, LIKE WE'RE BACK AT THE
HIGH-SCHOOL CAFETERIA.

1569
00:50:04,068 --> 00:50:06,080
DESSERT, LIKE WE'RE BACK AT THE
HIGH-SCHOOL CAFETERIA.
"DO YOU WANT YOUR DESSERT?

1570
00:50:06,104 --> 00:50:07,948
HIGH-SCHOOL CAFETERIA.
"DO YOU WANT YOUR DESSERT?
DO YOU WANT YOUR DESSERT?"

1571
00:50:07,972 --> 00:50:10,384
"DO YOU WANT YOUR DESSERT?
DO YOU WANT YOUR DESSERT?"
LIKE WE GOT MARRIED SO YOU COULD

1572
00:50:10,408 --> 00:50:13,120
DO YOU WANT YOUR DESSERT?"
LIKE WE GOT MARRIED SO YOU COULD
EAT MY APPLE BROWN BETTY!

1573
00:50:13,144 --> 00:50:15,155
LIKE WE GOT MARRIED SO YOU COULD
EAT MY APPLE BROWN BETTY!
OHH! OHH!

1574
00:50:15,179 --> 00:50:18,825
EAT MY APPLE BROWN BETTY!
OHH! OHH!
WELL, WELL, WELL.

1575
00:50:18,849 --> 00:50:21,128
OHH! OHH!
WELL, WELL, WELL.
MAYBE THIS JUST PROVES WHAT I'VE

1576
00:50:21,152 --> 00:50:23,097
WELL, WELL, WELL.
MAYBE THIS JUST PROVES WHAT I'VE
BEEN MEANING TO SAY FOR TWO

1577
00:50:23,121 --> 00:50:25,265
MAYBE THIS JUST PROVES WHAT I'VE
BEEN MEANING TO SAY FOR TWO
WEEKS... YOU SHOULD'VE MARRIED

1578
00:50:25,289 --> 00:50:29,003
BEEN MEANING TO SAY FOR TWO
WEEKS... YOU SHOULD'VE MARRIED
THAT HANDSOME RICK MOONEY.

1579
00:50:29,027 --> 00:50:30,770
WEEKS... YOU SHOULD'VE MARRIED
THAT HANDSOME RICK MOONEY.
[EXHALES DEEPLY]

1580
00:50:30,794 --> 00:50:33,474
THAT HANDSOME RICK MOONEY.
[EXHALES DEEPLY]
WELL, IF I HAD KNOWN...

1581
00:50:33,498 --> 00:50:35,542
[EXHALES DEEPLY]
WELL, IF I HAD KNOWN...
IF I WOULD'VE KNOWN WHAT I KNOW

1582
00:50:35,566 --> 00:50:37,544
WELL, IF I HAD KNOWN...
IF I WOULD'VE KNOWN WHAT I KNOW
NOW LAST SUMMER AT CHEERLEADER

1583
00:50:37,568 --> 00:50:39,646
IF I WOULD'VE KNOWN WHAT I KNOW
NOW LAST SUMMER AT CHEERLEADER
CAMP WHEN I WAS DECIDING BETWEEN

1584
00:50:39,670 --> 00:50:42,782
NOW LAST SUMMER AT CHEERLEADER
CAMP WHEN I WAS DECIDING BETWEEN
YOU AND RICK MOONEY...

1585
00:50:42,806 --> 00:50:48,188
CAMP WHEN I WAS DECIDING BETWEEN
YOU AND RICK MOONEY...
'CAUSE IT ALL HAPPENED DURING

1586
00:50:48,212 --> 00:50:49,656
YOU AND RICK MOONEY...
'CAUSE IT ALL HAPPENED DURING
CHEERLEADER CAMP.

1587
00:50:49,680 --> 00:50:51,725
'CAUSE IT ALL HAPPENED DURING
CHEERLEADER CAMP.
IN A MOMENT OF DEVOTION, WE WERE

1588
00:50:51,749 --> 00:50:53,760
CHEERLEADER CAMP.
IN A MOMENT OF DEVOTION, WE WERE
ALL DOWN ON OUR KNEES AROUND THE

1589
00:50:53,784 --> 00:50:55,429
IN A MOMENT OF DEVOTION, WE WERE
ALL DOWN ON OUR KNEES AROUND THE
FLAGPOLE IN THE DRIVEWAY.

1590
00:50:55,453 --> 00:50:56,897
ALL DOWN ON OUR KNEES AROUND THE
FLAGPOLE IN THE DRIVEWAY.
AND YOU HAD TO HOLD THE JINGLE

1591
00:50:56,921 --> 00:50:58,432
FLAGPOLE IN THE DRIVEWAY.
AND YOU HAD TO HOLD THE JINGLE
BELLS QUIET ON YOUR TENNIS SHOE

1592
00:50:58,456 --> 00:50:58,899
AND YOU HAD TO HOLD THE JINGLE
BELLS QUIET ON YOUR TENNIS SHOE
LACES.

1593
00:50:58,923 --> 00:51:00,234
BELLS QUIET ON YOUR TENNIS SHOE
LACES.
AND I WAS HOLDING MY JINGLE

1594
00:51:00,258 --> 00:51:02,769
LACES.
AND I WAS HOLDING MY JINGLE
BELLS AND THINKING, "GOD, GIVE

1595
00:51:02,793 --> 00:51:03,837
AND I WAS HOLDING MY JINGLE
BELLS AND THINKING, "GOD, GIVE
ME A SIGN.

1596
00:51:03,861 --> 00:51:05,805
BELLS AND THINKING, "GOD, GIVE
ME A SIGN.
HENRY OR RICK MOONEY?"

1597
00:51:05,829 --> 00:51:07,874
ME A SIGN.
HENRY OR RICK MOONEY?"
AND I SAID, "AMEN" AND WE ALL

1598
00:51:07,898 --> 00:51:09,876
HENRY OR RICK MOONEY?"
AND I SAID, "AMEN" AND WE ALL
STOOD UP, AND I LET GO OF MY

1599
00:51:09,900 --> 00:51:11,945
AND I SAID, "AMEN" AND WE ALL
STOOD UP, AND I LET GO OF MY
JINGLE BELLS TO BRUSH OFF THE

1600
00:51:11,969 --> 00:51:13,947
STOOD UP, AND I LET GO OF MY
JINGLE BELLS TO BRUSH OFF THE
CINDERS OF MY KNEES FROM THE

1601
00:51:13,971 --> 00:51:14,814
JINGLE BELLS TO BRUSH OFF THE
CINDERS OF MY KNEES FROM THE
DRIVEWAY.

1602
00:51:14,838 --> 00:51:16,450
CINDERS OF MY KNEES FROM THE
DRIVEWAY.
AND THE CINDERS WERE ALL MASHED

1603
00:51:16,474 --> 00:51:18,252
DRIVEWAY.
AND THE CINDERS WERE ALL MASHED
INTO MY KNEE'S SKIN, FORMING THE

1604
00:51:18,276 --> 00:51:19,953
AND THE CINDERS WERE ALL MASHED
INTO MY KNEE'S SKIN, FORMING THE
SHAPE OF AN "H" FOR HENRY, AND

1605
00:51:19,977 --> 00:51:23,123
INTO MY KNEE'S SKIN, FORMING THE
SHAPE OF AN "H" FOR HENRY, AND
THAT'S WHEN I KNEW.

1606
00:51:23,147 --> 00:51:26,460
SHAPE OF AN "H" FOR HENRY, AND
THAT'S WHEN I KNEW.
[SOBS]

1607
00:51:26,484 --> 00:51:29,829
THAT'S WHEN I KNEW.
[SOBS]
IS THAT SO?

1608
00:51:29,853 --> 00:51:31,298
[SOBS]
IS THAT SO?
I LEARNED TWO THINGS AT

1609
00:51:31,322 --> 00:51:34,034
IS THAT SO?
I LEARNED TWO THINGS AT
MAJORETTE CAMP LAST SUMMER...

1610
00:51:34,058 --> 00:51:36,903
I LEARNED TWO THINGS AT
MAJORETTE CAMP LAST SUMMER...
I LOVE YOU...

1611
00:51:36,927 --> 00:51:38,172
MAJORETTE CAMP LAST SUMMER...
I LOVE YOU...
AND THEY GIVE FREE NUTS TO

1612
00:51:38,196 --> 00:51:42,576
I LOVE YOU...
AND THEY GIVE FREE NUTS TO
PEOPLE ON AIRPLANES.

1613
00:51:42,600 --> 00:51:45,679
AND THEY GIVE FREE NUTS TO
PEOPLE ON AIRPLANES.
IS THAT SO?

1614
00:51:45,703 --> 00:51:47,614
PEOPLE ON AIRPLANES.
IS THAT SO?
NO.

1615
00:51:47,638 --> 00:51:51,318
IS THAT SO?
NO.
IT'S NOT SO.

1616
00:51:51,342 --> 00:51:52,953
NO.
IT'S NOT SO.
THE TRUTH IS...

1617
00:51:52,977 --> 00:51:54,455
IT'S NOT SO.
THE TRUTH IS...
THE CINDERS IN MY KNEE'S SKIN

1618
00:51:54,479 --> 00:51:56,123
THE TRUTH IS...
THE CINDERS IN MY KNEE'S SKIN
DIDN'T FORM THE SHAPE OF AN "H."

1619
00:51:56,147 --> 00:51:57,624
THE CINDERS IN MY KNEE'S SKIN
DIDN'T FORM THE SHAPE OF AN "H."
THE CINDERS IN MY KNEE'S SKIN

1620
00:51:57,648 --> 00:51:59,393
DIDN'T FORM THE SHAPE OF AN "H."
THE CINDERS IN MY KNEE'S SKIN
DIDN'T FORM ANYTHING.

1621
00:51:59,417 --> 00:52:00,860
THE CINDERS IN MY KNEE'S SKIN
DIDN'T FORM ANYTHING.
BUT I MADE UP THAT STORY BECAUSE

1622
00:52:00,884 --> 00:52:02,028
DIDN'T FORM ANYTHING.
BUT I MADE UP THAT STORY BECAUSE
I LOVE YOU, AND YOU NEVER

1623
00:52:02,052 --> 00:52:03,363
BUT I MADE UP THAT STORY BECAUSE
I LOVE YOU, AND YOU NEVER
BELIEVED I LOVED YOU MORE THAN

1624
00:52:03,387 --> 00:52:04,631
I LOVE YOU, AND YOU NEVER
BELIEVED I LOVED YOU MORE THAN
RICK MOONEY.

1625
00:52:04,655 --> 00:52:06,600
BELIEVED I LOVED YOU MORE THAN
RICK MOONEY.
AND I STILL LOVE YOU.

1626
00:52:06,624 --> 00:52:08,268
RICK MOONEY.
AND I STILL LOVE YOU.
I STILL LOVE YOU.

1627
00:52:08,292 --> 00:52:09,769
AND I STILL LOVE YOU.
I STILL LOVE YOU.
AND I HAVE SEEN YOUR WORK PANTS

1628
00:52:09,793 --> 00:52:10,870
I STILL LOVE YOU.
AND I HAVE SEEN YOUR WORK PANTS
WITHOUT YOU IN THEM.

1629
00:52:10,894 --> 00:52:12,506
AND I HAVE SEEN YOUR WORK PANTS
WITHOUT YOU IN THEM.
I'VE SEEN ALL THOSE THINGS, WITH

1630
00:52:12,530 --> 00:52:13,974
WITHOUT YOU IN THEM.
I'VE SEEN ALL THOSE THINGS, WITH
THE SEAT STUCK OUT ON ITS OWN

1631
00:52:13,998 --> 00:52:15,476
I'VE SEEN ALL THOSE THINGS, WITH
THE SEAT STUCK OUT ON ITS OWN
AND ALL, AND I'VE SEEN ALL OF

1632
00:52:15,500 --> 00:52:20,981
THE SEAT STUCK OUT ON ITS OWN
AND ALL, AND I'VE SEEN ALL OF
THAT, AND I STILL LOVE YOU.

1633
00:52:21,005 --> 00:52:23,517
AND ALL, AND I'VE SEEN ALL OF
THAT, AND I STILL LOVE YOU.
SO...

1634
00:52:23,541 --> 00:52:26,386
THAT, AND I STILL LOVE YOU.
SO...
NOW YOU KNOW.

1635
00:52:26,410 --> 00:52:27,521
SO...
NOW YOU KNOW.
[SIGHS]

1636
00:52:27,545 --> 00:52:30,724
NOW YOU KNOW.
[SIGHS]
NOW I KNOW.

1637
00:52:30,748 --> 00:52:34,027
[SIGHS]
NOW I KNOW.
HEY, UH, PUT YOUR CLOTHES ON.

1638
00:52:34,051 --> 00:52:35,129
NOW I KNOW.
HEY, UH, PUT YOUR CLOTHES ON.
GO ON.

1639
00:52:35,153 --> 00:52:36,163
HEY, UH, PUT YOUR CLOTHES ON.
GO ON.
WHAT FOR?

1640
00:52:36,187 --> 00:52:37,931
GO ON.
WHAT FOR?
WE'LL GO TO THE 7-ELEVEN.

1641
00:52:37,955 --> 00:52:42,503
WHAT FOR?
WE'LL GO TO THE 7-ELEVEN.
I'LL BUY YOU A CHERRY SLUSH.

1642
00:52:42,527 --> 00:52:44,571
WE'LL GO TO THE 7-ELEVEN.
I'LL BUY YOU A CHERRY SLUSH.
CHERRY SLUSH?

1643
00:52:44,595 --> 00:52:46,206
I'LL BUY YOU A CHERRY SLUSH.
CHERRY SLUSH?
OH, HENRY.

1644
00:52:46,230 --> 00:52:49,831
CHERRY SLUSH?
OH, HENRY.
OH, HENRY, HENRY.

1645
00:53:02,245 --> 00:53:08,028
IN TEXAS, WHERE I COME FROM,
EVERYBODY TWIRLS A BATON.
YESTERDAY, I GOT TO TWIRL MINE

1646
00:53:08,052 --> 00:53:09,229
EVERYBODY TWIRLS A BATON.
YESTERDAY, I GOT TO TWIRL MINE
FOR GARY WEIS.

1647
00:53:09,253 --> 00:53:12,087
YESTERDAY, I GOT TO TWIRL MINE
FOR GARY WEIS.
HERE'S THIS WEEK'S FILM.

1648
00:53:15,692 --> 00:53:19,195
[DAVID BOWIE'S "FAME" PLAYS]

1649
00:53:37,514 --> 00:53:44,231
♪ COULD IT BE THE BEST? ♪
♪ COULD IT BE? ♪
♪ REALLY BE ♪

1650
00:53:44,255 --> 00:53:47,668
♪ COULD IT BE? ♪
♪ REALLY BE ♪
♪ REALLY, BABE ♪

1651
00:53:47,692 --> 00:53:49,169
♪ REALLY BE ♪
♪ REALLY, BABE ♪
♪ COULD IT BE, MY BABE? ♪

1652
00:53:49,193 --> 00:53:52,472
♪ REALLY, BABE ♪
♪ COULD IT BE, MY BABE? ♪
♪ COULD IT, BABE? ♪

1653
00:53:52,496 --> 00:53:53,973
♪ COULD IT BE, MY BABE? ♪
♪ COULD IT, BABE? ♪
♪ COULD IT, BABE? ♪

1654
00:53:53,997 --> 00:53:55,008
♪ COULD IT, BABE? ♪
♪ COULD IT, BABE? ♪
♪ COULD IT? ♪

1655
00:53:55,032 --> 00:53:57,143
♪ COULD IT, BABE? ♪
♪ COULD IT? ♪
♪ IT IS ANY WONDER ♪

1656
00:53:57,167 --> 00:54:00,080
♪ COULD IT? ♪
♪ IT IS ANY WONDER ♪
♪ I REJECT YOU FIRST? ♪

1657
00:54:00,104 --> 00:54:05,085
♪ IT IS ANY WONDER ♪
♪ I REJECT YOU FIRST? ♪
♪ FAME, FAME, FAME, FAME ♪

1658
00:54:05,109 --> 00:54:07,153
♪ I REJECT YOU FIRST? ♪
♪ FAME, FAME, FAME, FAME ♪
♪ IS IT ANY WONDER ♪

1659
00:54:07,177 --> 00:54:10,490
♪ FAME, FAME, FAME, FAME ♪
♪ IS IT ANY WONDER ♪
♪ YOU'RE TOO COOL TO FOOL? ♪

1660
00:54:10,514 --> 00:54:14,861
♪ IS IT ANY WONDER ♪
♪ YOU'RE TOO COOL TO FOOL? ♪
♪ FAME, FAME ♪

1661
00:54:14,885 --> 00:54:15,929
♪ YOU'RE TOO COOL TO FOOL? ♪
♪ FAME, FAME ♪
♪ FAME ♪

1662
00:54:15,953 --> 00:54:17,797
♪ FAME, FAME ♪
♪ FAME ♪
♪ BULLY FOR YOU, CHILLY FOR

1663
00:54:17,821 --> 00:54:18,798
♪ FAME ♪
♪ BULLY FOR YOU, CHILLY FOR
ME ♪

1664
00:54:18,822 --> 00:54:20,601
♪ BULLY FOR YOU, CHILLY FOR
ME ♪
♪ GOT TO GET A RAIN CHECK ON ♪

1665
00:54:20,625 --> 00:54:26,206
ME ♪
♪ GOT TO GET A RAIN CHECK ON ♪
♪ PAIN ♪

1666
00:54:26,230 --> 00:54:28,070
♪ GOT TO GET A RAIN CHECK ON ♪
♪ PAIN ♪
♪ FAME ♪

1667
00:54:37,674 --> 00:54:45,674
♪ FAME, FAME, FAME, FAME,
FAME, FAME, FAME, FAME, FAME ♪
♪ FAME, FAME, FAME, FAME, FAME,

1668
00:54:46,083 --> 00:54:48,662
FAME, FAME, FAME, FAME, FAME ♪
♪ FAME, FAME, FAME, FAME, FAME,
FAME, FAME, FAME, FAME, FAME ♪

1669
00:54:48,686 --> 00:54:52,166
♪ FAME, FAME, FAME, FAME, FAME,
FAME, FAME, FAME, FAME, FAME ♪
♪ FAME, FAME, FAME, FAME ♪

1670
00:55:04,233 --> 00:55:10,751
Announcer: AND NOW IT'S TIME
FOR "BAD PLAYHOUSE" WITH YOUR
HOST, LEONARD PINTH-GARNELL.

1671
00:55:10,775 --> 00:55:11,718
FOR "BAD PLAYHOUSE" WITH YOUR
HOST, LEONARD PINTH-GARNELL.
HELLO, I'M

1672
00:55:11,742 --> 00:55:13,420
HOST, LEONARD PINTH-GARNELL.
HELLO, I'M
LEONARD PINTH-GARNELL, AND

1673
00:55:13,444 --> 00:55:14,821
HELLO, I'M
LEONARD PINTH-GARNELL, AND
WELCOME ONCE AGAIN TO

1674
00:55:14,845 --> 00:55:15,955
LEONARD PINTH-GARNELL, AND
WELCOME ONCE AGAIN TO
"BAD PLAYHOUSE."

1675
00:55:15,979 --> 00:55:17,557
WELCOME ONCE AGAIN TO
"BAD PLAYHOUSE."
TONIGHT, WE FEATURE A WORK BY

1676
00:55:17,581 --> 00:55:19,293
"BAD PLAYHOUSE."
TONIGHT, WE FEATURE A WORK BY
JAN VORSTAD, ONE OF THE WORST OF

1677
00:55:19,317 --> 00:55:20,727
TONIGHT, WE FEATURE A WORK BY
JAN VORSTAD, ONE OF THE WORST OF
THE NEW BREED OF BAD DUTCH

1678
00:55:20,751 --> 00:55:22,262
JAN VORSTAD, ONE OF THE WORST OF
THE NEW BREED OF BAD DUTCH
PLAYWRIGHTS OF THE PIET HEIN

1679
00:55:22,286 --> 00:55:22,829
THE NEW BREED OF BAD DUTCH
PLAYWRIGHTS OF THE PIET HEIN
SCHOOL.

1680
00:55:22,853 --> 00:55:24,464
PLAYWRIGHTS OF THE PIET HEIN
SCHOOL.
HIS WORK HAS BEEN REVILED, NOT

1681
00:55:24,488 --> 00:55:26,199
SCHOOL.
HIS WORK HAS BEEN REVILED, NOT
ONLY IN HIS NATIVE AMSTERDAM BUT

1682
00:55:26,223 --> 00:55:27,501
HIS WORK HAS BEEN REVILED, NOT
ONLY IN HIS NATIVE AMSTERDAM BUT
THROUGHOUT EUROPE.

1683
00:55:27,525 --> 00:55:29,603
ONLY IN HIS NATIVE AMSTERDAM BUT
THROUGHOUT EUROPE.
VORSTAD'S EARLY PLAYS DEALT WITH

1684
00:55:29,627 --> 00:55:31,571
THROUGHOUT EUROPE.
VORSTAD'S EARLY PLAYS DEALT WITH
THE EXISTENTIALISM OF BEING...

1685
00:55:31,595 --> 00:55:33,407
VORSTAD'S EARLY PLAYS DEALT WITH
THE EXISTENTIALISM OF BEING...
DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTAND BECAUSE

1686
00:55:33,431 --> 00:55:34,874
THE EXISTENTIALISM OF BEING...
DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTAND BECAUSE
THEY WERE SO VERY POORLY

1687
00:55:34,898 --> 00:55:35,509
DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTAND BECAUSE
THEY WERE SO VERY POORLY
WRITTEN.

1688
00:55:35,533 --> 00:55:37,076
THEY WERE SO VERY POORLY
WRITTEN.
TONIGHT'S PLAY IS ENTITLED

1689
00:55:37,100 --> 00:55:38,745
WRITTEN.
TONIGHT'S PLAY IS ENTITLED
"THE MILLKEEPER," WRITTEN BY

1690
00:55:38,769 --> 00:55:40,480
TONIGHT'S PLAY IS ENTITLED
"THE MILLKEEPER," WRITTEN BY
JAN VORSTAD IN 1953 BEFORE HE

1691
00:55:40,504 --> 00:55:41,948
"THE MILLKEEPER," WRITTEN BY
JAN VORSTAD IN 1953 BEFORE HE
HAD EVEN LEARNED TO FORM

1692
00:55:41,972 --> 00:55:44,150
JAN VORSTAD IN 1953 BEFORE HE
HAD EVEN LEARNED TO FORM
SENTENCES.

1693
00:55:44,174 --> 00:55:46,186
HAD EVEN LEARNED TO FORM
SENTENCES.
THE PRINCIPAL CHARACTERS OF THE

1694
00:55:46,210 --> 00:55:48,154
SENTENCES.
THE PRINCIPAL CHARACTERS OF THE
PLAY ARE THE YOUNG MILLKEEPER,

1695
00:55:48,178 --> 00:55:50,256
THE PRINCIPAL CHARACTERS OF THE
PLAY ARE THE YOUNG MILLKEEPER,
NILS, HIS NEW BRIDE, PIETRE, HIS

1696
00:55:50,280 --> 00:55:52,091
PLAY ARE THE YOUNG MILLKEEPER,
NILS, HIS NEW BRIDE, PIETRE, HIS
SISTER, JANN, DEATH, AND THE

1697
00:55:52,115 --> 00:55:53,059
NILS, HIS NEW BRIDE, PIETRE, HIS
SISTER, JANN, DEATH, AND THE
MILL ITSELF.

1698
00:55:53,083 --> 00:55:54,695
SISTER, JANN, DEATH, AND THE
MILL ITSELF.
THE INTERACTION OF THE PLAY

1699
00:55:54,719 --> 00:55:56,430
MILL ITSELF.
THE INTERACTION OF THE PLAY
DEALS WITH THE TORMENT OF THE

1700
00:55:56,454 --> 00:55:57,897
THE INTERACTION OF THE PLAY
DEALS WITH THE TORMENT OF THE
YOUNG BRIDE ALONE IN THE

1701
00:55:57,921 --> 00:55:59,800
DEALS WITH THE TORMENT OF THE
YOUNG BRIDE ALONE IN THE
WINDMILL WITH HER SISTER, WHO IS

1702
00:55:59,824 --> 00:56:01,668
YOUNG BRIDE ALONE IN THE
WINDMILL WITH HER SISTER, WHO IS
CAUGHT IN THE CLUTCHES OF DEATH.

1703
00:56:01,692 --> 00:56:03,102
WINDMILL WITH HER SISTER, WHO IS
CAUGHT IN THE CLUTCHES OF DEATH.
AND NILS IS TORN BETWEEN THE

1704
00:56:03,126 --> 00:56:04,471
CAUGHT IN THE CLUTCHES OF DEATH.
AND NILS IS TORN BETWEEN THE
IDEA OF LOVING THEM AND HIS

1705
00:56:04,495 --> 00:56:05,839
AND NILS IS TORN BETWEEN THE
IDEA OF LOVING THEM AND HIS
ENDLESS NEED TO WORK AT THE

1706
00:56:05,863 --> 00:56:07,006
IDEA OF LOVING THEM AND HIS
ENDLESS NEED TO WORK AT THE
MILLING OF GRAINS.

1707
00:56:07,030 --> 00:56:09,376
ENDLESS NEED TO WORK AT THE
MILLING OF GRAINS.
IT IS TWILIGHT AS THE PLAY

1708
00:56:09,400 --> 00:56:11,945
MILLING OF GRAINS.
IT IS TWILIGHT AS THE PLAY
BEGINS.

1709
00:56:11,969 --> 00:56:13,689
IT IS TWILIGHT AS THE PLAY
BEGINS.
[CREAKING]

1710
00:56:32,989 --> 00:56:40,989
AAAAH!
AAAAAAH!
AAAAAH!

1711
00:56:44,535 --> 00:56:48,982
AAAAAAH!
AAAAAH!
AAAAAAAH!

1712
00:56:49,006 --> 00:56:53,587
AAAAAH!
AAAAAAAH!
AAAAAAAAH!

1713
00:56:53,611 --> 00:56:57,524
AAAAAAAH!
AAAAAAAAH!
AAAAAAAAH!

1714
00:56:57,548 --> 00:57:04,097
AAAAAAAAH!
AAAAAAAAH!
AAAAAAAH!

1715
00:57:04,121 --> 00:57:04,998
AAAAAAAAH!
AAAAAAAH!
THANK YOU.

1716
00:57:05,022 --> 00:57:06,165
AAAAAAAH!
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.

1717
00:57:06,189 --> 00:57:08,001
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
THERE, NOW, THAT WASN'T SO GOOD,

1718
00:57:08,025 --> 00:57:09,536
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
THERE, NOW, THAT WASN'T SO GOOD,
WAS IT?

1719
00:57:09,560 --> 00:57:10,871
THERE, NOW, THAT WASN'T SO GOOD,
WAS IT?
AND NOW I'D LIKE TO INTRODUCE

1720
00:57:10,895 --> 00:57:11,872
WAS IT?
AND NOW I'D LIKE TO INTRODUCE
THE CAST OF TONIGHT'S

1721
00:57:11,896 --> 00:57:12,706
AND NOW I'D LIKE TO INTRODUCE
THE CAST OF TONIGHT'S
"BAD PLAYHOUSE."

1722
00:57:12,730 --> 00:57:14,140
THE CAST OF TONIGHT'S
"BAD PLAYHOUSE."
THE ARDENT, YOUNG MILLKEEPER WAS

1723
00:57:14,164 --> 00:57:16,376
"BAD PLAYHOUSE."
THE ARDENT, YOUNG MILLKEEPER WAS
PLAYED BY MIKE MULAY.

1724
00:57:16,400 --> 00:57:20,013
THE ARDENT, YOUNG MILLKEEPER WAS
PLAYED BY MIKE MULAY.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

1725
00:57:20,037 --> 00:57:22,416
PLAYED BY MIKE MULAY.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
THE YOUNG BRIDE WAS PORTRAYED BY

1726
00:57:22,440 --> 00:57:23,850
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
THE YOUNG BRIDE WAS PORTRAYED BY
CHRISTINA MALFEY.

1727
00:57:23,874 --> 00:57:26,286
THE YOUNG BRIDE WAS PORTRAYED BY
CHRISTINA MALFEY.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

1728
00:57:26,310 --> 00:57:27,754
CHRISTINA MALFEY.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
AND THE SISTER WAS

1729
00:57:27,778 --> 00:57:29,756
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
AND THE SISTER WAS
GENEVEVE VENUS.

1730
00:57:29,780 --> 00:57:32,559
AND THE SISTER WAS
GENEVEVE VENUS.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

1731
00:57:32,583 --> 00:57:35,595
GENEVEVE VENUS.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
[LAUGHS]

1732
00:57:35,619 --> 00:57:37,964
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
[LAUGHS]
AND DEATH WAS RONNIE BATEMAN.

1733
00:57:37,988 --> 00:57:40,308
[LAUGHS]
AND DEATH WAS RONNIE BATEMAN.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

1734
00:57:49,499 --> 00:57:55,849
MUCH...
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
CONTINUES]

1735
00:57:55,873 --> 00:57:58,184
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
CONTINUES]
TERRIBLE. TERRIBLE.

1736
00:57:58,208 --> 00:58:01,387
[CONTINUES]
TERRIBLE. TERRIBLE.
AWFUL. AWFUL. AWFUL.

1737
00:58:01,411 --> 00:58:02,221
TERRIBLE. TERRIBLE.
AWFUL. AWFUL. AWFUL.
COULDN'T BE WORSE.

1738
00:58:02,245 --> 00:58:03,289
AWFUL. AWFUL. AWFUL.
COULDN'T BE WORSE.
COULDN'T BE WORSE.

1739
00:58:03,313 --> 00:58:05,124
COULDN'T BE WORSE.
COULDN'T BE WORSE.
TERRIBLE. SIMPLY AWFUL.

1740
00:58:05,148 --> 00:58:07,193
COULDN'T BE WORSE.
TERRIBLE. SIMPLY AWFUL.
MUCH OF VORSTAD'S WORK WAS MUCH

1741
00:58:07,217 --> 00:58:08,929
TERRIBLE. SIMPLY AWFUL.
MUCH OF VORSTAD'S WORK WAS MUCH
WORSE IN HIS LATER YEARS.

1742
00:58:08,953 --> 00:58:10,897
MUCH OF VORSTAD'S WORK WAS MUCH
WORSE IN HIS LATER YEARS.
NEXT WEEK ON "BAD PLAYHOUSE,"

1743
00:58:10,921 --> 00:58:12,966
WORSE IN HIS LATER YEARS.
NEXT WEEK ON "BAD PLAYHOUSE,"
JOIN ME FOR AN EVEN WORSE PLAY,

1744
00:58:12,990 --> 00:58:14,067
NEXT WEEK ON "BAD PLAYHOUSE,"
JOIN ME FOR AN EVEN WORSE PLAY,
ELMO SIMPSON'S

1745
00:58:14,091 --> 00:58:15,401
JOIN ME FOR AN EVEN WORSE PLAY,
ELMO SIMPSON'S
"THE HOT CARRIER."

1746
00:58:15,425 --> 00:58:16,603
ELMO SIMPSON'S
"THE HOT CARRIER."
UNTIL THEN, THIS IS

1747
00:58:16,627 --> 00:58:18,271
"THE HOT CARRIER."
UNTIL THEN, THIS IS
LEONARD PINTH-GARNELL SAYING

1748
00:58:18,295 --> 00:58:20,615
UNTIL THEN, THIS IS
LEONARD PINTH-GARNELL SAYING
GOOD NIGHT.

1749
00:58:47,189 --> 00:58:55,189
♪ WELL, I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR
SOMEBODY ♪
♪ GOT MY MIND MADE UP ♪

1750
00:58:55,232 --> 00:58:58,277
SOMEBODY ♪
♪ GOT MY MIND MADE UP ♪
♪ WHO DOESN'T NEED A LOT TO

1751
00:58:58,301 --> 00:59:01,347
♪ GOT MY MIND MADE UP ♪
♪ WHO DOESN'T NEED A LOT TO
SAY ♪

1752
00:59:01,371 --> 00:59:05,919
♪ WHO DOESN'T NEED A LOT TO
SAY ♪
♪ SO THAT WHEN WE TALK, AT LEAST

1753
00:59:05,943 --> 00:59:13,943
SAY ♪
♪ SO THAT WHEN WE TALK, AT LEAST
WE'RE NOT PLAYING GAMES ♪

1754
00:59:15,252 --> 00:59:18,565
♪ SO THAT WHEN WE TALK, AT LEAST
WE'RE NOT PLAYING GAMES ♪
♪ I'VE BEEN IN LOVE BEFORE, BUT

1755
00:59:18,589 --> 00:59:21,501
WE'RE NOT PLAYING GAMES ♪
♪ I'VE BEEN IN LOVE BEFORE, BUT
I GOT HURT SO BAD ♪

1756
00:59:21,525 --> 00:59:25,672
♪ I'VE BEEN IN LOVE BEFORE, BUT
I GOT HURT SO BAD ♪
♪ THAT I STILL CAN'T FEEL THE

1757
00:59:25,696 --> 00:59:29,409
I GOT HURT SO BAD ♪
♪ THAT I STILL CAN'T FEEL THE
PAIN ♪

1758
00:59:29,433 --> 00:59:32,512
♪ THAT I STILL CAN'T FEEL THE
PAIN ♪
♪ I WANT TO LOVE AGAIN, BUT I

1759
00:59:32,536 --> 00:59:40,536
PAIN ♪
♪ I WANT TO LOVE AGAIN, BUT I
STILL FEEL TOO AFRAID ♪

1760
00:59:41,244 --> 00:59:45,158
♪ I WANT TO LOVE AGAIN, BUT I
STILL FEEL TOO AFRAID ♪
♪ SO I'VE BEEN LIVING IN THE

1761
00:59:45,182 --> 00:59:49,596
STILL FEEL TOO AFRAID ♪
♪ SO I'VE BEEN LIVING IN THE
CITY OF THE ONE-NIGHT STANDS ♪

1762
00:59:49,620 --> 00:59:52,933
♪ SO I'VE BEEN LIVING IN THE
CITY OF THE ONE-NIGHT STANDS ♪
♪ AND SLEEPING NEXT TO PITY,

1763
00:59:52,957 --> 00:59:56,536
CITY OF THE ONE-NIGHT STANDS ♪
♪ AND SLEEPING NEXT TO PITY,
AND IT'S CRAZY ♪

1764
00:59:56,560 --> 00:59:59,573
♪ AND SLEEPING NEXT TO PITY,
AND IT'S CRAZY ♪
♪ THE CLOSER I GET, WELL, THE

1765
00:59:59,597 --> 01:00:07,113
AND IT'S CRAZY ♪
♪ THE CLOSER I GET, WELL, THE
MORE SHE WANTS TO TAKE ME ♪

1766
01:00:07,137 --> 01:00:10,817
♪ THE CLOSER I GET, WELL, THE
MORE SHE WANTS TO TAKE ME ♪
♪ AND WHEN YOU'RE LIVING IN THE

1767
01:00:10,841 --> 01:00:14,520
MORE SHE WANTS TO TAKE ME ♪
♪ AND WHEN YOU'RE LIVING IN THE
CITY OF THE ONE-NIGHT STANDS ♪

1768
01:00:14,544 --> 01:00:17,256
♪ AND WHEN YOU'RE LIVING IN THE
CITY OF THE ONE-NIGHT STANDS ♪
♪ FACES THAT NEVER LOOK TOO

1769
01:00:17,280 --> 01:00:21,628
CITY OF THE ONE-NIGHT STANDS ♪
♪ FACES THAT NEVER LOOK TOO
PRETTY IN THE DAYLIGHT ♪

1770
01:00:21,652 --> 01:00:24,998
♪ FACES THAT NEVER LOOK TOO
PRETTY IN THE DAYLIGHT ♪
♪ BEGIN TO LOOK FINE WHEN THE

1771
01:00:25,022 --> 01:00:33,022
PRETTY IN THE DAYLIGHT ♪
♪ BEGIN TO LOOK FINE WHEN THE
NIGHTTIME GETS YOU BLIND ♪

1772
01:00:35,265 --> 01:00:38,411
♪ BEGIN TO LOOK FINE WHEN THE
NIGHTTIME GETS YOU BLIND ♪
♪ LIVING IN THE CITY OF THE

1773
01:00:38,435 --> 01:00:41,514
NIGHTTIME GETS YOU BLIND ♪
♪ LIVING IN THE CITY OF THE
ONE-NIGHT STANDS ♪

1774
01:00:41,538 --> 01:00:44,550
♪ LIVING IN THE CITY OF THE
ONE-NIGHT STANDS ♪
♪ LIVIN' IN THE CITY OF THE

1775
01:00:44,574 --> 01:00:52,574
ONE-NIGHT STANDS ♪
♪ LIVIN' IN THE CITY OF THE
ONE-NIGHT STANDS ♪

1776
01:00:53,083 --> 01:00:55,895
♪ LIVIN' IN THE CITY OF THE
ONE-NIGHT STANDS ♪
♪ MORNING COMES EARLY IN A

1777
01:00:55,919 --> 01:00:58,598
ONE-NIGHT STANDS ♪
♪ MORNING COMES EARLY IN A
STRANGER'S BED ♪

1778
01:00:58,622 --> 01:01:01,668
♪ MORNING COMES EARLY IN A
STRANGER'S BED ♪
♪ IT'S NEVER QUITE AS EASY WHEN

1779
01:01:01,692 --> 01:01:05,438
STRANGER'S BED ♪
♪ IT'S NEVER QUITE AS EASY WHEN
YOU'RE ASTRAY ♪

1780
01:01:05,462 --> 01:01:07,741
♪ IT'S NEVER QUITE AS EASY WHEN
YOU'RE ASTRAY ♪
♪ I'D LIKE TO HAVE A DIME FOR

1781
01:01:07,765 --> 01:01:11,177
YOU'RE ASTRAY ♪
♪ I'D LIKE TO HAVE A DIME FOR
ALL THE PROMISES ♪

1782
01:01:11,201 --> 01:01:13,980
♪ I'D LIKE TO HAVE A DIME FOR
ALL THE PROMISES ♪
♪ THAT STONY LOVERS MAKE WHEN IT

1783
01:01:14,004 --> 01:01:15,015
ALL THE PROMISES ♪
♪ THAT STONY LOVERS MAKE WHEN IT
GETS LATE ♪

1784
01:01:15,039 --> 01:01:16,482
♪ THAT STONY LOVERS MAKE WHEN IT
GETS LATE ♪
♪ SURE, IT HURTS ♪

1785
01:01:16,506 --> 01:01:20,153
GETS LATE ♪
♪ SURE, IT HURTS ♪
♪ STILL, IT FEELS PRETTY GOOD TO

1786
01:01:20,177 --> 01:01:23,723
♪ SURE, IT HURTS ♪
♪ STILL, IT FEELS PRETTY GOOD TO
BE LIVIN' IN THE CITY OF THE

1787
01:01:23,747 --> 01:01:26,726
♪ STILL, IT FEELS PRETTY GOOD TO
BE LIVIN' IN THE CITY OF THE
ONE-NIGHT STANDS ♪

1788
01:01:26,750 --> 01:01:28,461
BE LIVIN' IN THE CITY OF THE
ONE-NIGHT STANDS ♪
♪ WHERE THE NIGHTTIME MAKES IT

1789
01:01:28,485 --> 01:01:32,098
ONE-NIGHT STANDS ♪
♪ WHERE THE NIGHTTIME MAKES IT
EASY TO FEEL CRAZY ♪

1790
01:01:32,122 --> 01:01:35,135
♪ WHERE THE NIGHTTIME MAKES IT
EASY TO FEEL CRAZY ♪
♪ AND YOU WANT TO GET SAVED,

1791
01:01:35,159 --> 01:01:37,937
EASY TO FEEL CRAZY ♪
♪ AND YOU WANT TO GET SAVED,
BUT THERE'S NOTHING THERE WORTH

1792
01:01:37,961 --> 01:01:42,909
♪ AND YOU WANT TO GET SAVED,
BUT THERE'S NOTHING THERE WORTH
SAVING ♪

1793
01:01:42,933 --> 01:01:46,746
BUT THERE'S NOTHING THERE WORTH
SAVING ♪
♪ WHEN YOU'RE LIVIN' IN THE CITY

1794
01:01:46,770 --> 01:01:50,316
SAVING ♪
♪ WHEN YOU'RE LIVIN' IN THE CITY
OF THE ONE-NIGHT STANDS ♪

1795
01:01:50,340 --> 01:01:52,618
♪ WHEN YOU'RE LIVIN' IN THE CITY
OF THE ONE-NIGHT STANDS ♪
♪ THOUGH YOU NEVER SEE THE

1796
01:01:52,642 --> 01:01:56,723
OF THE ONE-NIGHT STANDS ♪
♪ THOUGH YOU NEVER SEE THE
BEAUTY IN THE DAYLIGHT ♪

1797
01:01:56,747 --> 01:02:00,560
♪ THOUGH YOU NEVER SEE THE
BEAUTY IN THE DAYLIGHT ♪
♪ WHEN DAY BECOMES NIGHT, IT

1798
01:02:00,584 --> 01:02:08,584
BEAUTY IN THE DAYLIGHT ♪
♪ WHEN DAY BECOMES NIGHT, IT
BEGINS TO FEEL ALL RIGHT ♪

1799
01:02:12,262 --> 01:02:16,442
♪ WHEN DAY BECOMES NIGHT, IT
BEGINS TO FEEL ALL RIGHT ♪
♪ LIVIN' IN THE CITY OF THE

1800
01:02:16,466 --> 01:02:20,780
BEGINS TO FEEL ALL RIGHT ♪
♪ LIVIN' IN THE CITY OF THE
ONE-NIGHT STANDS ♪

1801
01:02:20,804 --> 01:02:24,317
♪ LIVIN' IN THE CITY OF THE
ONE-NIGHT STANDS ♪
♪ LIVIN' IN THE CITY OF THE

1802
01:02:24,341 --> 01:02:27,743
ONE-NIGHT STANDS ♪
♪ LIVIN' IN THE CITY OF THE
ONE-NIGHT STANDS ♪

1803
01:02:49,465 --> 01:02:50,999
[APPLAUSE]

1804
01:02:59,341 --> 01:03:07,341
THIS WEEK'S HOME MOVIE IS
SUBMITTED BY MY FRIEND
ROBERT ALTMAN.

1805
01:03:09,119 --> 01:03:11,097
SUBMITTED BY MY FRIEND
ROBERT ALTMAN.
OKAY, HERE SHE GOES.

1806
01:03:11,121 --> 01:03:16,669
ROBERT ALTMAN.
OKAY, HERE SHE GOES.
ACTION.

1807
01:03:16,693 --> 01:03:18,071
OKAY, HERE SHE GOES.
ACTION.
HI.

1808
01:03:18,095 --> 01:03:20,673
ACTION.
HI.
I'M ANNE GOOD.

1809
01:03:20,697 --> 01:03:22,842
HI.
I'M ANNE GOOD.
WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

1810
01:03:22,866 --> 01:03:24,043
I'M ANNE GOOD.
WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
LINDA.

1811
01:03:24,067 --> 01:03:25,711
WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
LINDA.
WHAT'D YOU SAY YOUR NAME WAS?

1812
01:03:25,735 --> 01:03:26,412
LINDA.
WHAT'D YOU SAY YOUR NAME WAS?
VICKI?

1813
01:03:26,436 --> 01:03:28,481
WHAT'D YOU SAY YOUR NAME WAS?
VICKI?
YEAH, THAT'S MY NICKNAME.

1814
01:03:28,505 --> 01:03:30,250
VICKI?
YEAH, THAT'S MY NICKNAME.
MY REAL NAME'S MILDRED.

1815
01:03:30,274 --> 01:03:33,086
YEAH, THAT'S MY NICKNAME.
MY REAL NAME'S MILDRED.
I HATE IT.

1816
01:03:33,110 --> 01:03:38,557
MY REAL NAME'S MILDRED.
I HATE IT.
MINE'S REALLY... VIRGINIA.

1817
01:03:38,581 --> 01:03:41,895
I HATE IT.
MINE'S REALLY... VIRGINIA.
YOUR REAL NAME'S VIRGINIA?

1818
01:03:41,919 --> 01:03:43,529
MINE'S REALLY... VIRGINIA.
YOUR REAL NAME'S VIRGINIA?
LINDA, HUH?

1819
01:03:43,553 --> 01:03:44,563
YOUR REAL NAME'S VIRGINIA?
LINDA, HUH?
YEAH.

1820
01:03:44,587 --> 01:03:46,900
LINDA, HUH?
YEAH.
CAN I USE YOUR PHONE SOMETIME?

1821
01:03:46,924 --> 01:03:49,302
YEAH.
CAN I USE YOUR PHONE SOMETIME?
YOU CAN USE MY PHONE ALL THE

1822
01:03:49,326 --> 01:03:50,303
CAN I USE YOUR PHONE SOMETIME?
YOU CAN USE MY PHONE ALL THE
TIME.

1823
01:03:50,327 --> 01:03:53,606
YOU CAN USE MY PHONE ALL THE
TIME.
[TELEPHONE RINGS]

1824
01:03:53,630 --> 01:03:56,276
TIME.
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
HELLO?

1825
01:03:56,300 --> 01:03:57,844
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
HELLO?
HELLO.

1826
01:03:57,868 --> 01:03:59,445
HELLO?
HELLO.
[BLOWS]

1827
01:03:59,469 --> 01:04:01,547
HELLO.
[BLOWS]
NOW, WHAT'D YOU DO THAT FOR?

1828
01:04:01,571 --> 01:04:09,571
[BLOWS]
NOW, WHAT'D YOU DO THAT FOR?
I SAW SOMEBODY DO IT ONCE.

1829
01:04:13,516 --> 01:04:14,694
NOW, WHAT'D YOU DO THAT FOR?
I SAW SOMEBODY DO IT ONCE.
Are you okay?

1830
01:04:14,718 --> 01:04:18,597
I SAW SOMEBODY DO IT ONCE.
Are you okay?
WHO'S THIS?

1831
01:04:18,621 --> 01:04:20,555
Are you okay?
WHO'S THIS?
WHO'S THIS?

1832
01:04:35,104 --> 01:04:41,654
AND THIS IS THE BEDROOM.
I KNEW IT'D LOOK LIKE THIS.
AND THIS IS MY CLOSET, AND

1833
01:04:41,678 --> 01:04:43,556
I KNEW IT'D LOOK LIKE THIS.
AND THIS IS MY CLOSET, AND
THAT'S YOUR CLOSET.

1834
01:04:43,580 --> 01:04:45,491
AND THIS IS MY CLOSET, AND
THAT'S YOUR CLOSET.
OH, IT'S BIG.

1835
01:04:45,515 --> 01:04:46,792
THAT'S YOUR CLOSET.
OH, IT'S BIG.
CAROL, DO YOU MIND IF I SHARE

1836
01:04:46,816 --> 01:04:48,594
OH, IT'S BIG.
CAROL, DO YOU MIND IF I SHARE
YOUR CLOSET?

1837
01:04:48,618 --> 01:04:51,386
CAROL, DO YOU MIND IF I SHARE
YOUR CLOSET?
MY ROOM DOESN'T HAVE ONE.

1838
01:05:13,976 --> 01:05:21,976
♪ SHININ' OVER THE SEA ♪
♪ 'CAUSE EVERY TIME I CATCH YOU
LOOKIN' OVER... ♪

1839
01:05:23,120 --> 01:05:31,120
♪ 'CAUSE EVERY TIME I CATCH YOU
LOOKIN' OVER... ♪
[APPLAUSE]

1840
01:05:31,528 --> 01:05:33,973
LOOKIN' OVER... ♪
[APPLAUSE]
I WANT TO THANK EVERYBODY FOR

1841
01:05:33,997 --> 01:05:36,242
[APPLAUSE]
I WANT TO THANK EVERYBODY FOR
COMING TONIGHT, AND I WANT TO

1842
01:05:36,266 --> 01:05:38,444
I WANT TO THANK EVERYBODY FOR
COMING TONIGHT, AND I WANT TO
TELL YOU I HAD A GREAT TIME.

1843
01:05:38,468 --> 01:05:42,782
COMING TONIGHT, AND I WANT TO
TELL YOU I HAD A GREAT TIME.
AND Y'ALL COME BACK, YOU HEAR?

1844
01:05:42,806 --> 01:05:45,606
TELL YOU I HAD A GREAT TIME.
AND Y'ALL COME BACK, YOU HEAR?
[BAND PLAYS]

1845
01:05:59,255 --> 01:06:00,721
Announcer: NEXT SATURDAY

1846
01:06:00,856 --> 01:06:02,123
NIGHT, OUR HOST WILL BE

1847
01:06:02,258 --> 01:06:03,524
BRODERICK CRAWFORD WITH

1848
01:06:03,659 --> 01:06:05,760
MUSICAL GUEST THE METERS,

1849
01:06:05,894 --> 01:06:07,996
LEVON HELM, AND DR. JOHN.

1850
01:06:08,130 --> 01:06:09,564
PEOPLE MISTAKE ME FOR

1851
01:06:09,698 --> 01:06:11,566
BRODERICK CRAWFORD, OR IS IT

1852
01:06:11,700 --> 01:06:12,700
JOAN CRAWFORD?

1853
01:06:12,835 --> 01:06:13,601
WHO CARES?

1854
01:06:13,735 --> 01:06:15,570
AT LEAST I LOOK LIKE A STAR!

1855
01:06:15,704 --> 01:06:18,039
THIS IS DON PARDO SAYING GOOD

1856
01:06:18,174 --> 01:06:19,640
NIGHT.